A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well this is my story. I told my boyfriend that I'll be more then happy to look after his dog and fish well he goes away for a few days, he has his own business and does not always get time off, i work for him. Anyways, for the first time i have stand at his house alone, normally he is here and so. His house is like a dumping ground nothing has a proper place, not even his clothes. He has cupboards yet his clothes are in boxes on the floor. I told him I'll clean up a bit, yet my cleaning is like way out of this world, I'll go to the extreme. Anyways, well unpacking one of the cupboards which had that looked like beding and so i removed them and came across a 3 books with letters in, it belongs to his ex-wife, she must have filed all her letter anyone had ever sent her, i gathered now why he never writes back to me. Anyways the thing is, there are a whole lot of her stuff still standing here. He moved into a new house when she left yet he still kept her things. He told me that he has long forgotten about her and she does not matter anymore. She hurt him badly by just leaving for someone else. Its pretty painful for me too.I'm hurt by the fact that he still has her things, how can i ask him, to help him clean out his house and get his ex-wife's things out of here for good?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): I agree with the others.. I love my new girlfriend very much but Im just lazy like your boyfriend sounds and just havnt got around to throwing my ex's photos and letters out yet. (you said it yourself he still has all his stuff in boxes). Seriously don't give the bloke a hard time about it.. its not like photos where framed on his bedside table is it?
Tell him you dont like it in a nice way but leave it up to him to move it out in his own time.. whatever you do dont through the stuff out yourself!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): I wouldnt read too much into it if I were you. I have various things of my ex's. Just things he never bothered to take or pick up and I didnt throw out. I didnt hold onto it for any sentimental reason. I would bring it up to him if I were you. I would say something like "while cleaning I came across your ex wives things and wasnt sure where to put them so I put them _____. Then you can gauge his reaction and see how he really feels.
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A
male
reader, UncleEd  +, writes (10 April 2009):
Just because he is your boyfriend he is supposed to remove every vestige of his past life? Give the man a break. He will clean up when he is ready. Perhaps he needs some of these things because they are part of his history. Give him time to get over his own past. He needs your support, not jealousy about things.
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