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*hoknows13
writes: My girlfriend and I broke up about 4 months ago. It happened very sudden and we lost contanct for 2 months. We saw each other and it was like old days—everything was great. We started to talk again but she keeps saying she can't go back and wants to stay friends, hang out and talk. I miss her. What do I do? Is it over? Is she playing mind games? Thanks
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reader, devilz_162 +, writes (23 December 2005):
Hey.. i am currently in the same situation as you.. let me tell u some of the advice i received..Well, maybe u should just be friends for the time being. Let her sort out her feelings. U should too. Slowly, talk to her and suppport her in things that she do.. Show her you care. She should feel your love after awhile. and if she still likes you, she will treat u well. slowly, gain her trust and resume things that u two did.. like going for movies, hanging out at malls etc.. doin something she enjoys like sports, shopping etc will also allow her to see that u care..if all these doesnt work, i guess you should move on.. it may take a long time to forget her.. but try to hook up with a close girl friend for the time being. she can give u that sense of satisfaction that your ex gave u.. atleast for a while..i wish u well..
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2005): I think it is over for now. But when someone still wants to hang out they obviously still have feelings. I think she just needs to grow up a little. You two sound young and a lot of times guys AND girls have to distance themselves from a situation to find out what they want. Sometimes that needs to happen because they feel like they have to go one way or another, and its so much easier to think about things when you can clear your mind and aren't with the person you are thinking of all the time. Distance makes the heart grow stronger - So if you feel like you want to give up then do so. But if you truly feel in your heart that you should stick around and be there for her, then by all means do it. You are too young to waste your time on someone. So why not build a friendship with her during this alone time and make it time well spent discovering a friendship with her. I don't think she is playing mind games, but she is confused. Give her the space she needs and hang out with her when YOU want to as well. This will show you the answers you need. Also, if that doesn't work and you need to know more answers, then ASK HER! If you two truly care for eachother, she should be able to answer any questions you need, while you aren't afraid to ask. Ask her if she sees a future with you? (A good answer for someone in the situation is "Maybe" Not no) Ask her how she feels about you? (She should care about and have feelings for you if she may want a relationship in time) Ask her if she is seeing anyone or planning on it? (The answer should be NO) And ask her if you can take her out to dinner and a movie? (This will allow you two to date, good position for you to be in)
So eventually in time if you don't see her emotions getting stronger (or staying strong if they are) then she probably ONLY wants friendship. Set rules for you two to follow (such as not seeing others - this would be if she just doesn't want to be tied down)and if she doesn't want to to abide them I think you should just let it go and be friends.
Also - Being friends is a good way for you to stay in touch (for your sake) And also a way for you to know that since you aren't going to be together you can go and do WHATEVER you WANT!!!
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2005): It is over. But, she would like to stay friends, because she obviously enjoyed your company. If you can't handle being just friends, then don't see her. But don't get any ideas that she wants to renew the romance with you. Find someone else to chase. This girl is on the sidelines, permanently. You might ask her why it was that she no longer wants to date you romantically, in hope of learning some valuable insight in how women see you.
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