A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is complicated, firstly i kissed a guy while with my long term partner of several years. My partner knew this guy and i felt guilty so told my partner i had done wrong but didnt say who with and decided it was best to finish the relationship. The guy i kissed had met a girl the night of the kiss and when i txt him the week after found out she had left her partner for him he did txt but always said he was busy so i stopped. Then the weekend after i was out at a club and bumped into the guy. his gf was away and we ended up kissing and we went home together. The next day i txt and he replied saying he didnt regret it, i asked if he saw me as a potential gf or just someone hes had sex with. He said gf but too many people would get hurt, which is true. He doesnt always reply to txts and i need to know if he can see anything in the future for us as a couple. He is not even my usual type but i think this guy is drop dead gorgeous and am willing to risk all for him. Do you think i will get hurt by this guy and should i just back off and forget it?? does a guy have to have feelings for a girl to sleep with them?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): You are already being hurt by this guy otherwise you wouldn't pose this question. And NO a guy doesn't need to have feelings for you to sleep with you. His feelings can be PURELY physical and nothing more.
If he wanted to be with you, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING would stop him from being with you. Are you two married? NO. DO you have children that could get hurt? NO. In fact you two have it easy if you wanted to make it something more. So the "complications" that he is telling you are in the way of you two being together is nothing but an EXCUSE.
You don't have to back off because he clearly doesn't mind sleeping with you. But he doesn't want anything more. And if you want to be a GOOD person you should back off simply because he has a girlfriend and you have a boyfriend that you are both lying to. And Karma escapes nobody.
A
male
reader, legacy  +, writes (21 August 2007):
I'm a guy and I will tell you what I think. No a guy does not need to even particularly "like" a girl to have sex with her. If you filled a need that night then he had his fun and hopefully you did too. As for a long term relationship, this guy is trouble. Look he slept with you because his girlfriend was away, do you want to be that girlfriend? Forget about him, you were bothered because you kissed a guy and this new guy doesn't mind taking someone to bed?! You are too nice of a girl, this has heartbreak written all over it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): Hey sweetie, you got it bad! If he kissed you when his gf was away, can you trust him if he becomes your bf? You need to talk to him and get to the point that would he leave his girlfriend. If he says that he cares about you and he will leave his girlfriend, then great! But if he seems unsure or says no, then just forget about. And a guy doesn't need to have feelings for a girl to sleep with her. Good luck! x
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A
female
reader, MissE--x +, writes (21 August 2007):
 When I Slept with the lad i liked a few weeks back i thought he liked me as he said he did, but you need to realise we can get emotionally attached more then guys and they dont seem to be as bothered about sex as we are ! .. he doesnt txt me at all however when he sees me he makes it out as if hes amazed to see me and that i lk fantastic etc ! but its all crap just to bed you gain ... as soon as his gf comes bck ... ull be out the picture once again until he can find a way to sleep with you gain without anyone finding out ! x
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