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*egacy

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I'm a teacher and have formed a good online friendship with a quite mature teenager(17). Am I wrong to want to meet her - or even to be talking to her?

Q.   hi there. i am a 28 year old teacher..been working near London for about 5 years.. problem is I met a girl on line about 4 months ago..she is 17 doing 'A' levels in a different school (about 100 miles away) i might add, and is quite mature.....

A.   27 December 2007: I'd be careful. How do you even know this is a real girl and that's "her" real age? Don't is my advice. Especially being a teacher, you may be needlessly endangering your career and reputation.... (read in full...)

My husband is cheating with a 20yr old, but I want to stay together for the kids, how can I deal with his cheating?

Q.   My husband of almost 14 years is having an affair with a 20 year old for about a month now. He says he loves me but not in love with me, which is confusing to me since we still have sex. I want to work things out not only for us but for our ...

A.   21 November 2007: This is a tough one and both of you are in for alot of hurt even if or perhaps especially if you work it out between you. What your husband may mean is that yes he loves you and the kids but this 20 year old gives him that expectant feeling of ... (read in full...)

How can overcome these fears.

Q.   Dear cupid i am 16 years old and i am not really confident, i get scared of people that take the piss out of me as i can not fight. I would like to know is their anyway of getting rid of this scareness, and also i am scared of going out at n...

A.   16 November 2007: Hi, yes there are alot of ways you can change your life in regards to your feeling scared. That's the first step to take, you don't want to feel this way. Ask yourself some questions: Why am I scared? What am I scared of? Have I ever had a r... (read in full...)

He just used me for sex. How do I get checked out for STD's?

Q.   ok so in eary September i randomly ran into a fella i knew fom i wasyounger at a party in my house... we all had the biggest and maddest party ever n it lasted from the fri til the monday, it was amazin as it was just after the biggest dance ...

A.   16 November 2007: Hi, my best guess is that you began to fall in love with the guy. Not hard to understand even if you don't want to call it "love." You are hurting from being disappointed and betrayed. Just remember all guys are not like this, no more than all ... (read in full...)

She cheated and I'm scared of making the wrong decision.

Q.   My wife of 5 years has had an affair. I'm devestated, but prepared to forgive (I think). Just one thing I can't get over, I don't want every gorey detail, but when I ask her to explain why she did it, she says. 'I don't know, It just happened...

A.   31 October 2007: O.K. I wasn't going to answer this but rereading your post indicates to me maybe why she had an affair. How can you say isn't giving her attention just rewarding bad behaviour? What's up with that? How can you say you feel like you are picking up ... (read in full...)

My guy doesn't like spending money. We don't ever eat out, or go on holiday. I'm starting to get fed up! Please advise.

Q.   I've met a man I love. We get on well. The problem is he is very mean with money. He doesnt like eating out or going on holidays. We end up always doing the same things going to the same places so he doesnt have to spend much or no need to spend ...

A.   31 October 2007: Leave him. He will not change and it will bother you more and more as longer your relationship goes on. O.K. my turn from the man's perspective. My wife is right though. I grew up poor, real poor and you know what? I always treated my girl... (read in full...)

I'm not confident around Women! How do I build my confidence??

Q.   I'm a confident person, but whe it comes to women and relationships, I'm awful. I've tried, and I've tried, and I've tried to be confident around women I'm attracted to (even when I fake it) but I always blow it when it comes to the date. A few girl...

A.   31 October 2007: How do you feel about yourself? How do you feel when you imagine yourself being with a woman? Talking to her ... getting closer to her...feel her... how do you feel by then? If you don't feel good about yourself and accept yourself who you are - you ... (read in full...)

He is lazy, we argue , then he threatens to leave, what should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend and I argue all the time about work that he is supposed to do around the house. We have been together 5 years and live together. It really upsets me when he yells at me. Then, he always wants to break up as being the only resolution ...

A.   31 October 2007: You know what my wife would say? She would tell me "Well then leave if that's what you want." And you know what I would say (at least to myself): Wait a minute, she's supposed to feel threatened and scared not give me that answer. It's B.S., give ... (read in full...)

I cheated and I know its wrong, but it takes two to tango doesn't it?

Q.   Do you think it's true that it's not ONLY the person who cheats who is at fault when it happens? I guess I was just wondering about your opinions because I would consider myself a very good person who was caught in a "grey" situation and un...

A.   31 October 2007: O.K. previous poster, I feel your pain but the writer did not cheat on you and making her feel worse and guilty is not why she wrote here. She obviously feels remorse and is concerned about what happened. Look yes it can take two to tango but if ... (read in full...)

My older girlfriends daughter is worried I'm only using her mum for sex, even though we haven't even had sex yet!

Q.   I am a 34 year old male and am dating a 41 year old woman for two weeks now everything is going great between us. we have not had sex yet as i am prepared to wait till she is ready, but the problem is she has a 21 year old daughter who is worried ...

A.   4 September 2007: Treat her mom with respect and love like it sounds you have for her. If mom is happy then the rest of the family will see it and things will take care of themselves. There is nothing you can "do" to appease the daughter other than be your self. ... (read in full...)

My mum's assistant manager likes me, what should I do?

Q.   Well, I need help, yet again lol. Well, my mum's assistant manager likes me, he's 23 and I'm 18 and I'm thinking, is he too old for me? I know he likes me as everytime I see him, he always says hi to me, and he always looks deep in to my eyes, and ...

A.   4 September 2007: roses, in my humble opinion you have answered the question. This guy wants more than a casual drink and if you go out for a drink then you will have him to deal with. And if he works with your mom and things go sour then you will have more ... (read in full...)

I work for an older man, he is on the verge of divorce and I feel we have become close. What do I do?

Q.   Hey guys, i am 20 yrs old and i work for a 40 yr old man (he is married with two kids and his daughter is only 2 yrs younger then me!!) Him and his wife are seperating and may even be getting a divorce. When i first started working with him i ...

A.   31 August 2007: I think Tellulah is right, make sure he is getting separated/divorced first then go forward. Otherwise you will be in the middle of that whole drama and it won't be pretty. I'm twenty years older than my wife and it's really not an issue. Our ... (read in full...)

Can the size of your vagina change?

Q.   Can the size of your vagina change? Or, does it just stay "tight" if it is that way, or loose if it is that way? My guy sometimes will say that mine isn't tight, and it hurts my feelings....

A.   31 August 2007: I'm a guy and what your boyfriend is telling you is shit. If I was you I would tell him, "Maybe I'm tight and you are kind of on the small size." Just my thoughts on an insensitive boyfriend.... (read in full...)

I keep losing my erection mix-sex... why?

Q.   I'm 20 and healthy. I was a virgin before I met my girlfriend. She is not, she had one partner before me, she said he was awful. Now we have had sex four times recently, on the first night I was in the missionary position. Everything was going ok, ...

A.   28 August 2007: I'll throw my two cents in here also. I think you are letting your worries get in the way of your sexuality. If you talk openly with your girl about your anxieties about this, it will help alot. If she is unkind then it says alot about her and ... (read in full...)

My wife has stopped having sex with me and now shows no physical affection at all!

Q.   OK, where do I start...well, I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read and reply. I have been married for more than 6 years. We have a fantastic son of nearly 4. Soon after he was born my wife lost interest in sex. Thats how it started. Sinc...

A.   25 August 2007: Charles999 how are you getting on? Is it getting any better for you? It hurts to read how desperate you are for emotional and physical touch. Myself, I went the route of having an affair. It did destroy our marriage but I found what I was ... (read in full...)

Does a guy have to have feelings for a girl to sleep with her?

Q.   This is complicated, firstly i kissed a guy while with my long term partner of several years. My partner knew this guy and i felt guilty so told my partner i had done wrong but didnt say who with and decided it was best to finish the relationship. ...

A.   21 August 2007: I'm a guy and I will tell you what I think. No a guy does not need to even particularly "like" a girl to have sex with her. If you filled a need that night then he had his fun and hopefully you did too. As for a long term relationship, this guy ... (read in full...)

I cant get a date and have become addicted to porn

Q.   Hey I have a problem. I'm 19 and a couple of times I have tried to ask girls out but they all say no when i ask if they want to go on a date with me. I always asked them questions, and was polite etc. but it hasn't worked for me and it has led me ...

A.   21 August 2007: O.K. you got two things going here at least, one is your insecurity and the other is your liking of porn. Don't mix up the two. If you like porn go ahead and like porn. What's addicted mean to you? Every waking minute you look at it or are you ... (read in full...)

Do you think that it is possible to have many sexual partners in 1 night stand bases without her looking for sex?

Q.   I'm 29, my partner is 21. I had 2 sexual partners 1 through marriage and 1 short term relationships, never 1 night stand. My partner was sexually active since the age of 14, she had 30 sexual partners most of them were 1 night stand. She keeps ...

A.   14 August 2007: hlskitten is pretty right on with her comment about your partner "getting it out of her system." That would be my bet too. You on the other hand are having a hard time dealing with it. Be easy on her and if you want to know about the past, ask ... (read in full...)

Is it normal not to bleed when you lose you virginity? I lost it to my boyfriend and I didn't bleed and now he thinks I didn't lose it to him!

Q.   Is it normal not to bleed when you lose you virginity? I lost it to my boyfriend and I didn't bleed and now he thinks I didn't lose it to him!...

A.   13 August 2007: Your boyfriend has some trust issues there. But that doesn't help you with your question. My wife had three lovers before me with sexual penetration. When we got together and made love she bled like she was a virgin. Strange huh? Her ... (read in full...)

My wife has stopped having sex with me and now shows no physical affection at all!

Q.   OK, where do I start...well, I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read and reply. I have been married for more than 6 years. We have a fantastic son of nearly 4. Soon after he was born my wife lost interest in sex. Thats how it started. Sinc...

A.   12 August 2007: Charles 999, you need to look at what's going on from a more detached perspective. Your wife is definitely detaching and your clinging, "I would never do anything to endanger .... etc" is only making it worse. I don't know how to tell you any ... (read in full...)

How can i stop bullying from happening?

Q.   i am going to be starting a new school this fall. I find it really hard to make new friends b/c i'm shy, very quiet,and don't know what to say. I even run out of questions to ask. I am worried that i may be a target for bullying, and being made fun ...

A.   11 August 2007: Hi, sorry you are feeling this way. Look I taught martial arts classes for many years and got into it because of insecurity and bullying issues. I think it all boils down to this; if you think like a victim then you will become one. Don't get an ... (read in full...)

I am with someone that is 15 years older than me. How can I keep him interested?

Q.   So I am recently dating a guy that is 15 years older then me and I'm wondering if anyone has advice on how to make sure that he stays interested in me. ...

A.   8 August 2007: Hi Kcat, this guy is probably very happy with himself that someone younger than him is interested in him. Be yourself and that's what he is attracted to. There are so many "what if's" that you can dream up, forget about it. Enjoy the times ... (read in full...)

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