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male
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anonymous
writes: My ex girlfriend started seeing somebody else VERY soon after she broke things off with me. We were going out for a little over a year. It's been almost 5 months since we broke up. My problem is that I still lover her, although she is still seeing this guy. I thought I was doing better as I hadn't talked to her in a month but then out of the blue one day she sends me an Instant Message while I'm at work asking how I was doing, hoping that I was having a good summer etc. I talked to her briefly, but since she talked to me that day (roughly a week or two ago), I have IMd her twice to talk. I am definitely still in love with her and I feel like we have so much chemistry together. I was wondering if anybody here has any experience with relationships started immediately after a breakup. Do they ever work? I feel like this new guy is just a rebound (he's the complete opposite of me and just a real boring dude if you ask me). I want to wait until she realizes the mistake but the wait is killing me.Anyone here have any experience with rebounds?
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female
reader, ammisbetter +, writes (8 July 2006):
I really hate to say it but they can. My ex bf before this last one, we broke up and he starting seeing her a week later. FOUR years later they are STILL together. But I understand your pain and feel it. I agree with Dr. Pete...do whatever it takes to get over this gril.
A
male
reader, Dr Pete  + ♥, writes (3 July 2006):
 It depends on the circumstances of why you broke up.
I think you need to give yourself some honest answers here; she broke up with you, she must have been unhappy. Therefore, by the time she broke up with you, she could have been ready to get in to another relationship.
People can act very differently after breakups. She broke up with you, that is why you are finding it difficult that she got together with someone else so soon.
The rebound thing is true, but I think it is more likely to happen to someone who is really hurt from a break up - it's an instant way of replacing the feeling of being 'loved' so that you don't have to suffer the painful feelings of rejection and lonelyness.
She was unfair to contact you if she knew your feelings. I suggest that if it is painful being in contact with her, you should tell her not to do so again.
She's been with this new guy for almost five months, and unless she has said any thing specifically to you about missing you, and making a mistake with splitting up with you, I think you need to accept that things are over.
Do rebound relationships usually develop in to long commited relationship? Not usually. But that in no way means she will come back to you.
Do whatever it takes to get over this girl, even if you have to picture her having sex with him all the time and doing all the coupley things that you are missing out on. You need to - it's the only way you can move on and find yourself a lovely new girl with whom you can fall in love with again.
Good luck with your situation, I'm sorry if any of this sounds too harsh.
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