A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in a terrible situation, I am in a committed relationship with someone and we have a child together, a couple years ago he cheated on me, and I became very bitter. I have forgiven him but i also found out that he does not make me happy , we have not been on a date in years, we go no where together , we do nothing together. I met someone one year ago we started off as good friends and things have developed. I am madly inlove with him and he says he is inlove with me too. but I am very afraid of leaving the man am living with because i do not want to loose my daughter and i know that he would stalk me and ruin my life with this other guy, i am actually giving him rope, and hoping he will mess up. I really love the other guy we are like one heart beating, what should i do?
View related questions:
cheated on me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (3 November 2007):
 If someone has an open relationship, that means they really don't want to be with that one person, they want to play the field or add variety.
You can't choose who you fall in love with, but when you're in a committed relationship, especially having a child there as well, you do choose to put yourself in the situation that can compromise the relationship you're in. I've been married before, I was friends with many of her friends. Some of those friendships could have gone further, but I had a duty to my wife to not allow them to.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys for those responses. I agree to some extent but you never get to choose who you fall in love with and when, do you? what should i do if this new guy wants to have an open relationship and see other people
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): You want us to make the decision for you. But i think in your head you already now that your present situation cannot carry on. How can you be with him, you dont do anything together. Can you not sit your bloke down and have a chat and try and give it one more chance. If it doesnt work then separate. Go your separate ways. Have some time with your child and your self. Give yourself a two year breather and then decide if you want to be with the other guy, but do try and get your present relationship sorted before jumping into another one. I know i have been there and it doesnt work. The grass is always greener on the other side, it isnt.
take care
xx
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (3 November 2007):
You dug the whole yourself. So many times people come on here and ask "what should I do" nope that's placing blame. If someone else makes a decision for me and I follow it and it turns out to be the wrong one, then I don't have to take responsibility for making the decision.
If you're doing something that you can't sit down with a child and fill them in on what you're up too, it isn't something you should be doing. You're the model for your child, and it sounds like not the best of one, by your behaviors.
Do you understand it takes two to destroy a relationship? One to act, one to allow the action. I had 3 real long term relationships, after the third one I could pinpoint certain behaviors I had myself that were part of the issue of the relationships ending.
The behaviors you have that are a portion of the problem are not coming with you into this new relationship, and if not found out and taken care of could play part in this relationship ending up like the one your in now.
This was a very smart comment I heard. "The worse thing you can do by leaving one relationship and going into another one is: YOU BRING YOU WITH YOU."
If your going to end it, do so, but make sure you find out who you are before this one crashes as well.
...............................
|
