A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: When I was 10 years old, I had sex with my six friends but in different times. And little physical intimacy with my classmate when I was 14. Though the sex was not intensive one and its been 18 since it happened but still feeling the shame for having done this. I am straight in my sexual orientation and feeling tense what will happen if my future partner come to know about my childhood sexual mistakes. Please people help me get rid of this guilt. thank you all in advance ! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011): I can tell you exactly how to get rid of these guilty feelings. Instead of lamenting about innocent childhood experimental games, you need to realize that a lot of kids engage in this type of experimentation, so that right there will tell you that your behavior was not out of line and it has no bearing on your current adult sexual identity. Furthermore, instead of fighting these "shameful" thoughts like keeping an inflated ball under water because they make you uncomfortable, I want you to set aside a couple minutes everyday and invite these thoughts into your mind and invite them for coffee or a game of cards. You need to condition your mind that it is JUST a thought; your mind doesn't know the difference between unpleasant thoughts and pleasant ones, but how you REACT makes all the difference. Bottom line: condition yourself that it's not a big deal.
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