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anonymous
writes: I have committed everything I can to the relationship that I am in. We are on a tight schedule because we both want kids and we want to start trying in Jan 2006. Given these and other constraints I want to get engaged. I have asked and been turned down (to my surprise given our plans). I was given a list of things that I must change before she would consider engagement. My response was that I was not willing to make such massive changes unless I had a commitment between us. We are at an impasse. I am adamant that I will not jump through hoops until she deigns to pronounce me fitting. It is complicated but this will do as a start. I want the commitment between us before I take my life off its present track and place it on ours. Am I wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2005): Given the plans to start a family ,her refusal of the engagement is surprising. It makes me wonder what else is going on....any reasonable changes (should you be willing)could commence during the engagemnet rather than after the wedding....BUT....why suddenly are you not fit if she has already agreed on the family issues?..What kind of changes is she suggesting? Are they reasonable? Maybe this is a RED FLAG that you should be looking at more closely??!!
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