A
female
age
36-40,
*herryb12
writes:Ok I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years, im 26 years old, he's 35. We met at the restaurant he worked since he's a chef, and at the time I worked part time there since I was still a law school student.Along the way in our relationship he's shown strange behaviors like for example, when my mother who had cancer was in surgery, everyone called me to know just to know how did it go, and he didn't.. it felt wrong but i just kept quiet.. some time later we were on a restaurant and i wasn't feeling very good, i was very nauseated and didnt want to eat much, he yelled at me, asked me if i was pregnant and that if I was he would have to push me down the stairs since a baby would ruin his future.. that creeped me out .. but again he apologized and told me I scared him out... mmmm another time we were in a disco dancing and he called me fat like for two hours straight ... like while he danced he would say really hurtful and annoying things about my weight ...mmm whenever I was stressed or needed to discuss something with him, he would just leave the room and pretend I wasn't talking.. he hated arguments or discussions... and like three weeks ago i invited him to come to the graduation ceremony at the law school which was very early in the morning like, 7:30 am.. and he told me he wouldnt wake up THAT early, that he wouldn't do that for anyone, specially since he had to open his restaurant at 11 am and work all day long... that time I told him i didnt wanted to see him again, he apologized a lot, then I forgave him again.. . Three days ago I just collapsed, I realized how lonely i was feeling, I remember every one of these episodes and decided I needed some time off the relationship, and went to talk to him, said I wanted that, the time off... that i felt things were not alright and he went beserk about it, he broke up with me, told me he was dissapointed at me, that he never wanted to see me again. Thing is I've been feeling really sad about this and have a lot of doubts and my mind just remembers every nice momet I had with him, which of course were many.. he is in fact very charming, gives me presents and stuff like that.. but i just need some opinions here.. I know I had my motives to go and talk to him .. so why am I feeling so sad now???
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female
reader, MsClara  +, writes (3 January 2011):
Nobody likes to be alone, and obviously you saw something in this guy, but from what you say here, the love that you felt was not reciprocated by your ex. Love is when you don't have to ask the guy you're with to be there, he will be because he loves you. I think you should stay away from this guy. Buying you gifts, and flattering you doesn't make him charming, it makes him shallow. When it comes to things that matter, like being there at your graduation (congratulations by the way) that's where he falls down. And calling you fat isn't charming is it? Also any man that would threaten to push you down the stairs if you were pregnant doesn't deserve to be with any woman. You're a smart girl, you're worth more than this guy. Don't pine for this man. I doubt he's pining for you. Give yourself a chance to find real love.
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