A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My fiance and myself have been together for more than 3 years, lived together for more than 2 and have a toddler and an infant together. He has a full time job, half day on fridays and I am a stay at home mom. he is a good person but really inconsiderate. when i was 5 I woke up to find the neighbour in my house and she told my brother and myself my mom was with my dad at the hospital, he had had a car accident. my mom hadn't worried when he didn't come home by 11 the night before becasue she figured he was having drinks with his work buddies (something he did often). But then the cops arrived at our house. I had to say goodbye to my dad a few days later. By some miracle he lived, even though he broke his neck in 3 places and most of his internal organs were injured. This incident has scarred me for life. I don't mind my fiance going out for drinks or whatever but i need to know when to expect him home. often he works late or stays late at a work braai and I instantly start to panic. I have two babies constantly. He gets really annoyed at me even though I've explained this issue to him 100 times and spoken to him really nicely. he says he always forgets. Like today... he's already 2 hours later than he said he would be back from a braai. Why doesn't he understand that this behavior frightens me?
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male
reader, James the Rocket  +, writes (27 August 2010):
Your concerns make sense, but I would gather it must be very tiring to have to report in all the time if you work late constantly.
You don't seem to fear him cheating and it doesn't sound like he is. Unless you have let yourself go, then that is very unlikely.
Don't worry too much, as there is nothing you can do about it. My brother flies a lot and I worry about him, but I've learned to just accept it. What will be, will be. The problem for both of you is that he has to work late all the time.. free up each other by saying not to worry about reporting in and by you yourself getting some sleep. If you sit him down and explain this way you can deal with it, the look on his face will be worth it!
Don't worry. What will be, will be.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 It's not right that he's getting upset with you, especially if you've had an incident happen to you before involving an accident.
He says that he always forgets, perhaps you should call him to ask whether he will be late or not. He should understand given that you've told him of your past experiences. He should understand anyway since you're his fiancee and you have a right to know when he'll be coming home.
I hope that helps.
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