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Boyfriend got what he wants and now all he wants to do is watch tv

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Question - (13 March 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *aliMoore writes:

My sister has gone away and asked me to house sit, she agreed that my boyfriend could with me.For 2 weeks he's been going on about how exciting it will be to have the house to ourselves for a weekend! Which got me pretty excited too.

He requested that I dress up for him seems the house is empty and I agreed, I put on this great show for him and made all this effort, and he really really enjoyed it. And now he's uninterested now he's got want he wants, all we've done is sat around and watch tv! Its so boring. He's just sat there whilst I've cooked, cleaned and looked after the pets. And whenever I come on to him he just seems more interested in the tv! I feel so bored and frustrated!

Is it bad that I feel this way? He doesn't see why I should be abit off and that, I just feel totally disappointed, so much for an exciting weekend. I put on a show for him! And everything and this weekend feels such a waste

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (13 March 2011):

Hi there. Like you said, he got what he wanted, so now it's like being a married couple!

Virtually that's exactly what is happening.

It's no longer the forbidden fruit (the sex), as it's already happened, and it was good. Now it's time to do something else. So looks like it's tv.

When you only see each other once or twice a week, it's a case of having sex whenever you get the chance.

But when it's there available all the time, such as it is now while you are both staying at your sister's house, it's not nearly so exciting. There's no challenge for him. It's no longer the forbidden fruit. It's become changed circumstances.

I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. Once you both go back to only seeing each other like you do usually, sex will become fun again.

Besides you didn't really expect that sex was going to be happening 24/7 did you? Who would have the energy? That would be completely unrealistic.

Your relationship and your sex life is not doomed, it's just one of those things that happens. There are other ways to have fun. Why not leave the house for a few hours during the day, and do something else - a picnic, see a movie, go for a drive - anything at all. Just have fun!

Things will all return to normal after the weekend, you'll see. No cause for concern. It's perfectly normal.

Take care and best wishes.

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A female reader, Aunty Honest United Kingdom +, writes (13 March 2011):

Aunty Honest agony auntNo you're not bad for feeling that way! You feel slightly used and underappreciated it's understandable! Also why should the whole weekend be about what he wants. What about what you want? It's not the 50's! Tell him if he's just gonna sit there and watch T.V he can do it at home. There's no reason just because the sex is done you can't still have a nice time. Even just cooking together and then watching t.v having a cuddle etc would probably make you feel better. You're not asking for much. It doesn't have to be a screaming match but tell him you're annoyed, and want him to put a bit more effort in. You sure did.

Hope that helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011):

You've put in all the effort, and now you're scurrying around like a demented slave. Yes! You are absolutely right to be hacked off. Is it a surprise that your boyfriend doesn't see the problem? No!

Most guys would just love this scenario, a willing sex slave when they want, combined with all the caring and cosetting talents of a mother!

This boy is sewing the first thread of the doormat you are in danger of becoming if you continue to put up with this selfish behaviour.

Boys and men seem to think they should get brownie points for "not being bad", i.e., not being abusive in some way. What they totally miss is that they need to work at pleasing their partners too.

So, CaliMoore, ask yourself ... do I want to be a doormat? I don't think so! Your every instinct is screaming at you that his behaviour is not acceptable. Listen to your gut instincts - always! Dump him. In future, don't be so keen to do everything to please your man - that is the road to being taken for granted.

I wish you health, happiness, peace and love!

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