A
male
age
30-35,
*letcher
writes:So me and my ex have been broken up for about two or three months. I have not spoken a word to her since I left her house after saying it was over. She told me she had feeling for a friend of hers and they have now been dating for a while now. I lived an hour away from her because of my college and I have been really busy with school and she really hasn't been on mind at all. I even started talking to this really nice girl and hanging with her. But I finished my semester and have been in my home town where she lives and we spent most o our time together. We dated for two years almost and a lot of memories are here. It like out of no where she is popping up in my head and it's really becoming worse. I think also that I really was distrusted with her and held a lot of hate for a while and now that is beginning to dissolve. I miss her and I don't want to. It's also making me not like the new girl as much as I thought.I honestly would like to contact my ex and maybe just see what's up with each other but it terrifies me. I'm scared more feelings will come rushing back and I will hurt myself. Plus I dint even know what to say. Any advice for a man in need? Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I think it is probably best not to go out of your way to contact her. It may make it worse because chances are she has moved on and may give you a little bit of comfort but then not really put any effort into talking to you. Realize that there was a reason you two broke up and you are better off with something new with a new girl.
My general rule is you shouldn't try to get back with an ex and I am thinking that if you end up talking to her you'll end up hurt again.
If you're not feeling the same for your current girl it might not have to do with the ex. They could just be in your mind at the same time when really you may just not ahve as strong of feelings for you girl as you think.
Give it some more time and see what you can realize about the situation.
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