A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I posted last year about my child's father putting his number up on an escorting agency after us doing something rather shameful the two of us sellin ourselves. I know it was two years ago now but I still think back to why he would put his number up on there and it hurts. I have asked him a few more times recently and he said he promises that he never did that. (I also asked him when we split a few months ago and didnt think we were gettin back together and he said though we won't be together again I want you to know I never actually cheated on you I just did something stupid puttin the ad up). I feel mad. Because we only got back together again a couple of months ago I am hoping the truth would have come out by now if he did sheat back then but I will never know. He has really changed, he is working a decent job, being a brilliant father and a loving trusting bf so now he isnt doing all those drugs anymore this person I am in love with, I hope is being honest. I don't know why I'm starting to think of something which happened two years ago anyway when he said he never even did anything! AM I silly for trusting him and giving it a go because I have been feeling quite happy but that's a little thing in the bak of my head saying have I been lied to? Hmmm
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe said the only thing he ever lied about is taking drugs but never cheated. Do you think this is why I mistrust what he said about the cheating? Becuuse he lied about drugs so much so it makes me wonder about other things? I really want to move on from this and so far so good but how do I try and forget? Thank u for ur reply x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2013): If your boyfriend has a drug problem in the past; and you've experienced a lot of lying; you'll never really trust him.You know drug-addiction is a lifelong fight. He may slip back into his old ways. That's what keeps you on pins and needles.You also know that addicts are prone to lying and stealing.These traits may not change; even if they beat the addiction. Some habits never change.You have a child together. He is a loving person, aside from his addiction. His dishonesty will always haunt you; which is a stigma few former or recovering addicts will ever shake.The best thing to do, is make him earn your trust. Don't take much at face-value. Actions speak louder than words.If you catch him in a lie, you must offer him the ultimatum that you will leave him for good.Addicts are like children, and require both positive and negative reinforcement. They deserve praise for their efforts, and consequences for their mistakes. Hold him fully accountable for everything he does. When he sees he's not playing with a sucker, you'll keep him on the straight and narrow. Just remember. He may falter. You can't afford his mistakes to interfere with the well-being and safety of your child and you. He also has responsibilities as a father, and he should be held to them steadfast.
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