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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I recently have realized that I don't have any friends.I had a bunch in 9th grade. Not as many in 10th and now in 11th I have a couple of people who I would classify as my friends.I try really hard I just run out of things to say. And i'm so tired of people dumping me as their friend or ignoring me or leaving me out and i'm just really sad and I dont know what to do anymore.. Please help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mel-new93  +, writes (4 April 2012):
hey, im not that much older than you i had the same problem at school. which led to me being home schooled (which put my grade dramically down),
(also wouldn't recommend to you)
still to this day i do, i have so called friends that pick me up and dump me whenever they feel like it. It may just be us but i feel that in life you only have a handful of people you can call friends.
i think the best advice to you is be yourself, don't drag yourself out of your comfort zone. :)
not sure if this helped at all but you are not alone, (hugs)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2012): Well its highschool, people can be stuck up for what ever reasons, but there maybe things you need to work on as well if your losing friends. I use to feel that way, always the one asking everyone else whats going on and no one asks me, its better once you learn to be happy with what you got and who you are. Then when your more happy you look happy and that rubs off on people(there is a confident happy person that doesnt care about what others think). Even if you dont make much more friends, your current friends will find you better to chill with, and youll feel better about yourself.
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A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart  +, writes (4 April 2012):
 The best thing you can do is try to stop pushing yourself on other people. The more you want to be someone's friend, the more they will push you away. Try to be independent - which means don't depend on other people to entertain you. Entertain yourself with things you enjoy. Dependence on others, is a sign of insecurity and that is something you want to get rid of as soon as possible.
You said "I realized I don't have any friends" but then later you wrote "I have a couple of people who I would classify as my friends." That to me already means that you do have people in your life who enjoy your company, but not that many. The reason this happens is that you guys are at a stage in life when you are maturing, and each person is acquiring their own personality. People you loved hanging out with when you were in 9th grade, may no longer be the same today, which means you may not have much in common any more. This is totally normal and is part of growing up.
At this stage you get to find out who you are and you should want to surround yourself with people who have similar ideals, enjoy similar activities and etc.
Only children can have Many friends because there is much more in common. But as people grow up, and you do seem that you are getting there, they acquire a few really good friends rather than having 1000 facebook "friends" who are not friends at all.
Please read the book "All the rules" by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, I wish someone recommended I read it when I was in high school. The book is about how to find the right guy, but I think it does more than that. I found that it teaches women how to be the kind of person that people, not just men, want to be around.
I wish you luck.
When you read it and experiment with some of the rules, I wish you would wright a follow up to let me know how you are doing.
Self esteem is a major issue at your age, try to make sure yours is high. It will greatly help you in life.
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