A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay so my fiance likes anal sex alot but it hurts really bad... so how exactally do i tell him that i dont want to do it anymore with out him getting turned off???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): "Be a good wife and bear through it" be damned! It is NOT your "job" to put up with something you find physically painful!
Let me ask you: does your fiance know that anal sex hurts you a lot? There is also - unless he uses a condom - a considerable risk of getting an infection unless the area is absolutely clean.
The first uncle is right: you have to be honest and tell him you've given it your best shot because you know he likes it. See if there are any compromises both of you can make. Hopefully your fiance would not want to put you through something that is so uncomfortable, and which would indeed lead to resentment and dislike if he insists........and if he DOES insist, you'd be well advised to seriously consider breaking your engagement.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): oh geez dont even pay attention to the second person who responded...of course it had to come from a male. im married my husband loves anal sex but i hate it. i agree its painful...i have even gone and bought lube to try and help...for me it still was painful but maybe thats something u might wanna consider. if u dont wanna do it or u dont like it he needs to respect that, he needs to respect u. dont let him make u feel guilty....if hes gonna be ur husband he needs to understand and respect ur decision...trust me i have had this conversation many times with my husband since we have been together...and look our 7 year anniversary is coming up! trust me he'll get over it and if he doesnt then u know what type of person he really is. hope this helped. good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): Be a good wife, and bear through it! Your job is to please your man. You should take your job serious, unless you want him to cheat! Get some astroglide, and learn to enjoy it!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): if it is his favorite then there probably is no good way to tell him. I have heard that it gets better over time, but if you have given it all the time that you can and the discomfort is too great than you have to be honest and tell him. I know if I was him I would not want to do anything to you that would cause you pain or discomfort.
Tell him that you want to figure out compromises, but just talk about. Don't force yourself to do it because you will dread sex and he will pick that up, so it is a conversation you have to have.
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