I think I might've been raped... or did I consent?
Q. ok sooo im 16. my boyfriend, well ex, was 18 and we jus broke up. we got together 5 months ago. before i got with him, i never rly had the urge to drink alcohol or smoke anything. but in these last 5 months i have jus been wanting it more and more. ...
A. 7 November 2009: Oh you poor sweetie..Country Woman is right..I know you are scared and alone. Please call a friend, call a family member, someone that you can trust, and ask them to come be with you. Please go for help. Go to the emergency room! Do everything that ... (read in full...)
I'm depressed... he's depressed, and I'm paranoid that he'll leave me again... How can I overcome this?
Q. Hey there, I've been um-ing and ah-ing whether or not to post this for a couple of days now because it sounds trivial but it's plaguing me, so here goes... To begin with, I'm 25 and I've had depression since I was about 16. It was a mixture o...
A. 7 November 2009: This may not be exactly what you want to hear, but you need to put things into perspective. NOTHING in life is a sure thing, and you can't count on things lasting forever. BUT..you also can't live in fear and paranoia either! You can work at things, ... (read in full...)
"Sort your life out, you aren't a baby anymore"?
Q. Hi, i dont know if im being oversensitive here but i just want some feedback. Im 27 and been doing driving lessons just over a year now.My instructor wants me to book my test in and im just not confident. Last night on my driving lesson h...
A. 7 November 2009: Your driving instructor was out of line. He said something that a parent would say. Learning to drive is stressful enough without having an instructor with an attitude and a chip on his shoulder. And its never to late to learn so don't let that stop ... (read in full...)
Anger issues with my LDR
Q. hi im 18 and i have been in a 2 month long distance relationship with a man from argentina who is 27. we met on the internet so we havent met in person yet. however we connect very well. im in love with him and he says he loves me to. but a cou...
A. 6 November 2009: This man sounds very jealous and potentially abusive. You haven't even met him yet and already he's so controlling. These are danger flares being thrown up around you..watch out! You may THINK you are in love, but without meeting him, how do you ... (read in full...)
My husband hit me while drunk and doesn't remember. Should I trust him not to do it again?
Q. Recently my husband hit me. He had been drinking and he lost his temper. He had no recollection the next day, has apologised and promised it will not happen again. I just don't know how I feel or if i'm stupid to believe him. He is a drinker anyway, ...
A. 6 November 2009: That's how it starts..just once, and they promise to never do it again..but they will..again and again. Protect yourself and start thinking ahead. This is just the beginning. Take it from someone who has been there. His word is good only until the ... (read in full...)
Why can't she see that her actions and lack of consideration are a huge cause of our problems?
Q. My gf did not come home last night. We live together. I called and left a message when I arrived home form work and then I waited until 10pm before trying to call her again. She would not answer my calls or return my texts. I texted her to ask her ...
A. 6 November 2009: She is very disrespectful and inconsiderate of your situation and your feelings. Sorry to be cruel, but she sounds like a spoiled brat. Do not give into her little rants. As the other aunts say, put your foot down, tell her you cannot and will not ... (read in full...)
I'm not "in love" with my girlfriend, and she's kind of crazy. I'm scared to break up with her, what do I do?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half now and I've realized that I'm not "IN" love with her ....we get along great sometimes but most of the time it's real bad fighting and its REAL bad if we've be drinking.... she starts hitting me ...
A. 30 October 2009: I'm sorry for the dilemma that you are in, it can't be easy. But if you don't love someone, you don't love them and its time to move on. As hard as it may be, you need to end things with this girl. You aren't doing yourself or her and favors by ... (read in full...)
To cheat or not to cheat? Can mongamy really exist?
Q. Monogamy - can it REALLY exist - or is it natural to struggle with this? I'm asking this question because it seems like everyone cheats. On a marriage, in a relationship, etc. And if they don't it's usually because they "don't want to hurt" th...
A. 29 October 2009: Yes, monogamy does exist, and not everyone cheats. You hear about all the people that cheat, and all the problems that comes from it, but trust me, many many people are honest and faithful to each other. My SO and I have been in a relationship for 8 ... (read in full...)
Can online romance be real?
Q. Hi everybody. I just want to ask you guys question. Do you guys believe in online love? I met this guy who have same birthday,same satuition about pass relationship and almost everything are same.We chat on the internet for couple times. Yesterday ...
A. 28 October 2009: Yes, you can meet someone online and fall in love. That's how I met my SO originally. He's the love of my life, and we've been together for almost 8 years now. BUT...alot of people get caught up in the "magic" and fantasy that online romances can ... (read in full...)
He initiates "eye romances" with other women
Q. My Boyfriend and I have been living together for 3 years, and I have been putting up with his ROVING EYES the entire time. ANY time that we go anywhere, he ALWAYS finds another female that he is attracted to... and makes no secret of it. He first ...
A. 27 October 2009: This would be very hurtful to me as well. I wouldn't be able to put up with it. I'm assuming this man is close to your age right? He's acting like a teenager. Its disrespectful and quite frankly, I would find it disgusting. Of course you feel hurt! ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends make fun of me for my beliefs and he always takes their side!
Q. My bf's friends put me down for my Christian values and beliefs. They always make fun of me and put me down. My bf doesnt say anything to them. He lets them get away with it. In fact, he basically defends them and takes their side!!! He says ...
A. 27 October 2009: Sweetheart..why are you with this guy? He's very inconsiderate of your feelings. This isn't the type of man that you want by your side when things get rough. He would bail out on you in a minute. Believe in yourself, you deserve someone far better ... (read in full...)
I don't think I can stand to have him in my life anymore, should I just walk away?
Q. This is kinda a followup to something i logged in April. The guy that i am seeing on and off as friends has again being going through a rough time. I have tried to be supportive but he just keeps pushing me away. We were supposed to be meeting up ...
A. 27 October 2009: You've been through this 5 times and you're wondering if you want to go through it again..well, how much can your heart take? Perhaps he's not meaning to, but he's hurting you quite deeply, isn't he? Is this really the way you want to live? And ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should trust him?
Q. my partner of 6yrs went on a night out for a big game so lot's of drink consumed and when the team won partying didnt stop.... he went to a female work colleagues house who lives in the opposite direction to our house with two others after a night ...
A. 27 October 2009: I think it all comes down to trust. You either trust him, or you don't. Has he had a habit of lying to you in the past? Has he cheated? If he has, then of course you should be concerned. If not, isn't it possible that he's telling the truth? Unless ... (read in full...)
I'm only 34 but I feel like my life is over
Q. hey everyone i really need a sympathetic ear here. im 34 years old and feel life is over. im in a dead end job, in a debt programme for the next 4 years and am alone. everyone around me is happy engaged or married and i seem to only be with peo...
A. 27 October 2009: Oh sweetie..first of all, here's a big hug! I'm sorry for everything that you are going through, and the sadness that you are feeling. Of course you feel sad and overwhelmed. Who wouldn't? Caringguy gave excellent advice. I'd like to add that your ... (read in full...)
Escort girlfriend and sleepless nights, Part 2.
Q. Hello, I posted a question for advice some time ago which you can read here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/escort-girlfriend-true-love-and-sleepless-nights-help.html As pathetic as it may seem I am not yet free of the situation. I was won...
A. 26 October 2009: Its never wrong to care about someone, its just that sometimes that person can be very destructive in our life and as much as we love them, deep down inside we get to the point where we know they aren't good for us. I'm afraid that is where you are. ... (read in full...)
How should I handle her being upset with me?
Q. Hey ive been seeing this woman for a little less than 2 months now and i am really into her. she has a kid and is 3 years older than i am. We are not official yet because she basically wants to make sure i am the right guy. we work togeth...
A. 26 October 2009: Secrets never stay secrets for long, and if you aren't more careful the whole workplace will know that you two are seeing each other. And trust me, nothing gets around faster than gossip..so cool it! Stop talking to her at work about personal ... (read in full...)
My wife lied about her past and I feel like I want to leave her!
Q. My wife told me she only ever had one boyfriend before me and she only ever slept with him twice. After 23 years together i discover that she was in fact in a sexual relationship with him for 2 years and then with another guy for 6 months. Having ...
A. 23 October 2009: Do you really want to throw away 23 years for this? Are you sure? Its not like she was a prostitute or something and didn't tell you. I'm sorry, but I think you're being rather harsh on her. Why not just talk to her? I don't believe this is worth ... (read in full...)
Aries male crazy over a Saggittarius girl. Need Help!
Q. Classic Aries male in his 30's and I have a professional relationship with a classic Saggittarius female who's been driving me crazy. This girl could possibly be put on earth to be my soulmate. I love everything about her. Now the problem is two ...
A. 23 October 2009: I know many people take stock in astrological signs, but I'm not one of them. So let's toss that out. If you like this woman, you shouldn't approach her while you are in a relationship. It's not fair to either lady. And if she's a decent woman and ... (read in full...)
I'm not that girly, but I want to become more girly.
Q. i'm 16 and in my second year of high school. ok so i'm not that girly, but i want to become more girly. i always wear a black shirt and blue skinny jeans. my shoes are black converse and i wear lots of black eyeliner and my hair is covering one of ...
A. 18 October 2009: If you're not "girly" then you can't suddenly become "girly". I mean, you can fake it by wearing different clothing, but underneath, you are who you are. To give the illusion of girly, stop wearing all dark colors, throw in some blues, greens, ... (read in full...)
What does she want? She says she is really into me but then she just wants to be friends!
Q. Okay, here goes.....This may be quite lengthy so bare with me.....Okay I work with this lady and she is ABSOLUTELY STUNNING! (in my eyes anyway!) I'm not bad looking myself and there has always been a physical attraction between us. We knew each ...
A. 16 October 2009: The other aunts gave you fantastic advise. I think this is kind of a "once burned, twice shy" thing for this lady. I think she really likes you, goes with her heart/instinct says things, and then starts thinking about what she said or how it came ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant but my husband wants me to abort the baby!
Q. I am 38,my husband 46, we both has a daughter from previous marriage, 15 and 13. Now I am pregnant, but my husband does not want the baby. He wants me to do abortion. what I should do? He even wants to divorce! Help!...
A. 9 October 2009: You've heard from our wonderful uncles, now how about an aunt's spin on it? Plain and simple...unless you're in a financial situation and truly can't afford the baby, your husband is quite a jackass. And even if money was a problem, he's still being ... (read in full...)
What does an escort do in bed? My fiance uses their services.
Q. I found out my fiance using escort many many times. He said the sex with them is simple. No pussy licking. Just doggy style and bj. Is this true? what exactly does really escort do in bed? ...
A. 9 October 2009: I would imagine that for the right price they will do just about anything within reason. Depends on how kinky and how much the man is willing to pay. I have to agree with the other aunts...you seem very calm about this. I'd be saying "see ya" after ... (read in full...)
Is it right to have sex before marriage or is it better to wait?
Q. Is it good Sex before Marriage? We have seen many questions from teens who loss their virginity in teen age and some boys and girls wait for his/her life partner and enjoy the virginity loss with his/her life partner. So, is it right to have sex ...
A. 22 September 2009: This truly is a personal thing, and there are no right or wrong answers, everyone has their own beliefs and feelings about sex. For me, sex is a big deal, and it was important to me to know how compatible I was sexually with the man I was going to ... (read in full...)
A twin thing?
Q. Hi, Please help.. I have been in a loving relationship with my girlfriend for a few years, she is completely different to anyone else I have been with, but I cannot help finding an attraction to her twin sister. I have never been someone to c...
A. 22 September 2009: I was married to a twin, but they were fraternal, looked nothing alike..acted nothing alike. If they are identical, then of course looks wise you might be attracted to the sister..but I'd look at that from a logical point of view and LEAVE it at ... (read in full...)
I'm finding it hard to love my daughter
Q. Im having a hard time building a relationship with my 1 year old daughter. Dont get me wrong, i love her but its just so hard being a single parent. Sometimes i look at her and i just dont undertand why i have to be alone and take care of all the ...
A. 22 September 2009: I don't think you are a bad person, I think you're very young, and had a child under extreme circumstances. Having been a single parent at 21 (after being married) I certainly know what you are going through. Its HARD work, and can be very scary and ... (read in full...)
I love you, but I'm not IN love with you...
Q. If you are the person feeling this way, how do you get back the spark/attraction? If you are the person who was told this, how do you feel and what do you do?...
A. 22 September 2009: I agree with older sister, this isn't something that a person normally says without thinking it through. Sadly, it pretty much means just what it says..They love you as a friend, but they aren't in love with you as a girlfriend/wife/SO. And once a ... (read in full...)
I don't want to cry while making love!
Q. so me and my boyfriend had sex last night (not for the first time) we have sex a lot. but last night he layed me on my back on the couch with my hips down coming off. he was on his knees with my feet on his shoulders, so my legs were straight up ...
A. 19 September 2009: Wow..you are so young..and this is so sad and so scary..and your boyfriend plain and simple is an insensitive jerk. A real man would never continue to do something that would hurt a woman he cared for. Move on chicka..I'm sure you can do better than ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have strong feelings for two people at the same time?
Q. My ex and I had been together for a year and 3 months. It had been a good relationship, we had our ups and downs but we were in love. However a few weeks ago he became distant and after asking him over and over why, he admitted he had feelings for ...
A. 19 September 2009: I believe its possible to love more than one person at the same time, but our society doesn't condone that..He's playing you though..and having the best of both worlds, and that's not fair. You're going to have to force him to chose. ... (read in full...)
B/f stayed in the car with a girl from 4 AM to 7 AM, what should I think?
Q. okay, I have a severe proble, well in my case it is. I have a boyfriend Named *chris and we have been going out, or together for a lil' over a year now, and we have grown close, like I have a deep attachment to him after living with him, him being ...
A. 19 September 2009: I'd venture a guess to say what you are suspecting is correct..something funny was going on. A man and a woman don't stay in a car together from 4am till 7am with nothing going on unless they are cops...sorry..but this guy is treating you badly. ... (read in full...)
His skype had strange messages from girls wanting to webcam!
Q. Hey guys, any help would be much appreciated. My boyfriend and I have been going out 2 years. Were currently in a long distance relationship. I logged into his skype account to send a text as I had no credit on mine and he had messages from 2 girls ...
A. 17 September 2009: Believe him until proven otherwise. I get these messages all the time on skype. They are VERY annoying. Don't assume he's cheating on you. He probably really doesn't have any idea who these people are. I know I don't! ... (read in full...)
15 and pregnant. I don't want to tell my dad as he doesn't know I have been seeing anyone.
Q. I'm pregnant and the guy wants me to keep it however he is 18 and I know it is illegal. I also don't want to tell my parents about it. The father and I have always talked about starting a life together once I leave school and have kids but he wants ...
A. 15 September 2009: Sweetie..how long do you truly think you will be able to keep your pregnancy a secret? I know you must be very frightened..but running away will not solve things. Eventually don't you think your father will find out anyways? Do you have an older ... (read in full...)
I am pregnant, but my boyfriend isnt the father. Its his brother. Should I tell him?
Q. I'm 15 and im pregnant My boyfriend is not the father of my baby, it is his brothers, his brother knows about it and he too thinks it might be his. Should I tell him the truth or pretend that it is his?...
A. 15 September 2009: This is a very painful secret, and someone is going to get hurt no matter what, but keeping something this big a secret will eat away at you, and in all honesty, secrets don't normally stay secrets. Please talk to an adult about this ok? you really ... (read in full...)
This girl makes me uncomfortable and I don't want to hang out with her anymore. What should I do?
Q. My friend is strange. Recently I had to end our friendship. Where do I start? When I used to work, "Suzy" would glance at my work from the corner of her eye which got me annoyed - I do not like others looking at my work and then copying it. She ...
A. 12 September 2009: If a person made me feel as uncomfortable as you state, I wouldn't want to be friends with them. Just leave the relationship as polite acquaintaince and never say or do anything that would lead her to believe you wish for anything more. Hopefully ... (read in full...)
He only seems interested in the television and computer. Is this normal in a relationship?
Q. Good morning to all... I am writing for some advice or just another opinion outside of the one that I have within my relationship. I have been living with a man for nine months now and would like to think that my intentions are good. I do my ...
A. 12 September 2009: No, this is NOT normal. He's either totally stressed out, or just not as interested in you anymore.Whatever the case is, this is not a healthy relationship and you need to decide if you want to continue like this, do something about it, or get out.... (read in full...)
I feel uneasy about my girlfriend's behaviour!
Q. Basically my girlfriend is making me uneasy all the time. First it started with her getting drunk and wrestling, biting, and rolling around with my friend on her bed (she said it was nothing).. Then she lies about where she is (acting innocent and ...
A. 11 September 2009: What I want to know is..why are you with her and why are you putting up with her behavior? You've already caught her lying, and she can't even make excuses up for fill in the blanks..so of course you feel uneasy about her. I don't wish to be cruel, ... (read in full...)
Is it unusual not to have your father give you away at your wedding and have your brother do it instead?
Q. I'm getting married soon (yay!) and I'm worried about that tradition where the father of the bride gives her away. You see, my dad was never around...I think I've met him on 3 or 4 occasions and never had more than a superficial conversation with ...
A. 11 September 2009: Sweetheart..its your wedding..you have the pleasure of doing whatever YOU like! It think its quite lovely that you've chosen your brother. I've seen weddings where its been a mom, a cousin, uncle..ect..Don't worry about whom you have chosen. Its ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if you are in a used relationship?
Q. Can someone tell me what does it mean if you are in a used relationship? And how do you move out or move on out of a relationship like this? Thx...B...
A. 11 September 2009: I've never heard this expression before. I can only guess. Used like the love has faded? or used like one person is using another? I'm sorry, perhaps the other aunts can shed light on this.... (read in full...)
Is he still in love with her?
Q. i have been with my bf for 2years now i love him alot but i sometimes feel realy small.last year i found out he was cheating on me and confronted him but then he droped the girl and thing slowly started mending.today i was with him then he said he ...
A. 11 September 2009: I think unless an ex has hurt you really badly, most of us do have some kind feelings for them, but as the expression goes, there's a reason WHY they are the ex. It sounds as though your guy may have spoken his feelings he had AT THE TIME, but has ... (read in full...)
A Ring That Binds Me To Her.
Q. Hi Here's the problem. I love a girl that lives overstate. We've been talking for over 5 years now. She lives in NewYork and I live in Florida. Just this summer she's visited me for the third time in three years. She has school so it's not like ...
A. 8 September 2009: I concur 100% with the other aunts. Cheating is cheating if you are supposedly with someone. I don't think either of you are quite ready to be committed to each other, I don't doubt that you love each other, but if you TRULY were into just one ... (read in full...)
Can I win him from his girlfriend?
Q. Ok if a guy has a girlfriend... but the two of you have a very strong connection and great sex can you win him???? When i say win him i mean win from his girlfriend? please help x ...
A. 8 September 2009: Well, I'm sure if you tried hard enough you probably could..but the thing is..what exactly are you winning? And how long before someone tries to "win" him from you? Is that truly what you want? Doesn't sound like that much of a catch to me. ... (read in full...)
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