Should I stay in this relationship or move on?
Q. Should I stay in this relationship or move on? I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend of 3 years and I am deeply in love with. She loves me too but not anywhere near the intensity or passion that I have for her. I accept that, because we all l...
A. 19 November 2009: I think that would be a very wise decision. Its one thing to love someone, but its another thing to be hurt and taken advantage of. Sometimes people need a little nudge to make them realize what they truly have, and others don't see until its too ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in this relationship or move on?
Q. Should I stay in this relationship or move on? I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend of 3 years and I am deeply in love with. She loves me too but not anywhere near the intensity or passion that I have for her. I accept that, because we all l...
A. 19 November 2009: If you feel like this now, its will only escalate over time. If you can't make her see what her treatment does to you, then its time to end things and find someone who makes you happy. ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to quit my job and let him support me?
Q. my boyfriend and i been dating for 3 years. we been through so many break-ups. he is a very jealous person. he can be controlling also. he is a great person when he wants to be. there's one problem though. i met him at my place of employment. im a ...
A. 18 November 2009: Since your relationship is rather shaky, I wouldn't give up my job for him. He shouldn't be asking you to do that anyways. When you give up a job, you lose your freedom and independence. My fiance told me I didn't have to work, and I loved and ... (read in full...)
He gave me a back hander across the face when I mouthed off as he was yelling at me!
Q. Hi aunts. I have a real problem here. I'm just not sure what to do any more. Me and my boyfriend have been arguing a lot lately but last night it escalated and he backhanded me across the face because I mouthed off to him while he was yelling at me. ...
A. 16 November 2009: Sweetie..why would you stay with someone like this? This is a big red flag in your face, don't ignore it. No man (or woman) has the right to hit another person..EVER! I married a man like your boyfriend..he never hit me till after we were ... (read in full...)
Does my lack of trust isolate me?
Q. Is is plainly just chemistry? I have been single for very long and have yet be able to open my heart to anyone now. There are a few potentials one in my life now but I just cannot open my heart. Is love just based on chemistry or is it that I a...
A. 15 November 2009: Love is partially based on chemistry, but there are other factors involved as well. And if you've been really hurt in a relationship, then of course you are hesitant to trust again. Maybe you just haven't met someone who gives off a spark to you?... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be friends with an ex boyfriend?
Q. I broke up with my ex boyfriend due to irreconcilable differences (at least, I think so). He treated me like crap throughout the relationship and then he fell in love with me and I didn't reciprocate the feelings. I've decided to become friends ...
A. 15 November 2009: For some people, yes, it is possible. For most people, its still very painful. Some people can make the transition in time, but for most of us, once you've been involved with someone, its very hard to just go back being friends. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my boss again for this pay rise?
Q. A few weeks ago I asked not my line manager but my head of department for a pay rise, he said that it would be based on my appraisal, and job evaluation. He is due to leave at the end of this week and nothing's been mentioned about it. Should I ask ...
A. 15 November 2009: Absolutely! You deserve it, and your boss may just be really busy and its slipped his mind. Don't by shy about asking. Situations like this you need to look out for yourself. ... (read in full...)
Cheating husband, suspicious other woman
Q. My husband cheated on me recently and the affair last 3 months. he called it quits when we decided to work thimgs out. I found out that she left town around the same time i found out that im pregnant (sept.) could she also be pregnant with my ...
A. 15 November 2009: I agree with hijacked dignity all the way around. I seriously doubt if she was pregnant that she would leave town. She'd be more apt to stay around, try to get support, possibly want him to see the baby. It just wouldn't be very logical for her to ... (read in full...)
How do I know she's telling me the truth and that nothing else happened?
Q. hi i am seeing a girl, i started liking her, before i even proposed i asked her about her past relationship, and she said she liked someone on the 1st day i met here but there was no commitment. later on when i was deeply in love i came to know a...
A. 11 November 2009: If you are wise, you will let this go. This happened before she met you and started dating you right? So let go of it. Digging into a mate's past seldom brings happy feelings to either party. Concentrate on what the two of you had and stop worrying ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my gf what I'm thinking about the other woman?
Q. I had an "emotional" affair which didn't involve any sex but did involve me falling head-over-heals for the other woman. I'm well aware I'm a bastard for doing what I did, but I still need help. The other woman and I discussed things and decided ...
A. 11 November 2009: Unless you really want to hurt your g/f I wouldn't tell her what you are thinking, and I wouldn't go the social function. All its going to do is stir up memories and make you want what you don't have. Your g/f sounds like she's understanding..isn't ... (read in full...)
How is the best way to handle her text messages?
Q. Quick question, I have been having issues with a new girl I met after a really romantic weekend, and when I tried to talk to her, I get these phrases when we tried to talk on Monday (the day after). I'd sent her a few messages on Facebook, sent a ...
A. 11 November 2009: Ouch! She's made it very clear that you are to back off. If you want her to contact you again, you'd better do that. She sounds really freaked out, or stressed. I know its very hard to do, but sometimes you just have to give the other person ... (read in full...)
He still hasn't put a ring on my finger after 6 years, should I leave him?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 6 years he has cheated in the past and we are now past that we have had no problems with it he says he wants me in his life and cant see me out of his world but he hasn't but a ring on my finger. and he hates talking ...
A. 9 November 2009: Everyone has their own ideas about marriage, how long is too long to date, ect...I have been with my guy for 8 years..no wedding rings. Maybe someday...but we love each other and are committed to each other, and that's enough FOR US. You want to get ... (read in full...)
Gay unrequited love within a 'relationship'
Q. Hello, I'm a 46 year old gay guy and I have become stuck in a situation and seek advice... I got to know a guy 3 years younger than me around 3 years ago, we met and had safe casual sex and a friendship developed, during the first couple of months...
A. 9 November 2009: Hijacked dignity is right, as much as it may hurt, it would be best for you to move on. You've made your feelings clear several times, and this man just cannot/will not give you what you want. You are putting yourself through agony living with him, ... (read in full...)
He told me he was a "sick man" and now I havent heard from him in a month, what does this mean?
Q. I have been talking to this man for 6 months. We both fell in love with each other. One night, we were texting each other...it was the only way at the time because of his job. Everything was going well. Then at the end, he said, "I'm a sick man". I ...
A. 9 November 2009: Unless he was EXTREMELY sick, I can't believe he couldn't find a way to get a message to you in some way, shape or form to let you know that he was alright. I'd have to say that after a month, no contact probably means he ended things and didn't ... (read in full...)
How can I regain my self worth and self esteem?
Q. I really dont know how to put this into words except to say that with my current partner of 14 month, I have just lost it... My husband died alsmost 3 years ago. I never thought that at age 50 I would find someone who matched me so well again. ...
A. 8 November 2009: Babyduck gave you such a wonderful answer. At 48, I too am having to start all over.I'm not the kind of woman who likes to be alone, I'd be much happier if I was in a loving committed relationship, but its not that easy. But you know what? I ... (read in full...)
I think I might've been raped... or did I consent?
Q. ok sooo im 16. my boyfriend, well ex, was 18 and we jus broke up. we got together 5 months ago. before i got with him, i never rly had the urge to drink alcohol or smoke anything. but in these last 5 months i have jus been wanting it more and more. ...
A. 7 November 2009: Oh you poor sweetie..Country Woman is right..I know you are scared and alone. Please call a friend, call a family member, someone that you can trust, and ask them to come be with you. Please go for help. Go to the emergency room! Do everything that ... (read in full...)
I'm depressed... he's depressed, and I'm paranoid that he'll leave me again... How can I overcome this?
Q. Hey there, I've been um-ing and ah-ing whether or not to post this for a couple of days now because it sounds trivial but it's plaguing me, so here goes... To begin with, I'm 25 and I've had depression since I was about 16. It was a mixture o...
A. 7 November 2009: This may not be exactly what you want to hear, but you need to put things into perspective. NOTHING in life is a sure thing, and you can't count on things lasting forever. BUT..you also can't live in fear and paranoia either! You can work at things, ... (read in full...)
"Sort your life out, you aren't a baby anymore"?
Q. Hi, i dont know if im being oversensitive here but i just want some feedback. Im 27 and been doing driving lessons just over a year now.My instructor wants me to book my test in and im just not confident. Last night on my driving lesson h...
A. 7 November 2009: Your driving instructor was out of line. He said something that a parent would say. Learning to drive is stressful enough without having an instructor with an attitude and a chip on his shoulder. And its never to late to learn so don't let that stop ... (read in full...)
Anger issues with my LDR
Q. hi im 18 and i have been in a 2 month long distance relationship with a man from argentina who is 27. we met on the internet so we havent met in person yet. however we connect very well. im in love with him and he says he loves me to. but a cou...
A. 6 November 2009: This man sounds very jealous and potentially abusive. You haven't even met him yet and already he's so controlling. These are danger flares being thrown up around you..watch out! You may THINK you are in love, but without meeting him, how do you ... (read in full...)
My husband hit me while drunk and doesn't remember. Should I trust him not to do it again?
Q. Recently my husband hit me. He had been drinking and he lost his temper. He had no recollection the next day, has apologised and promised it will not happen again. I just don't know how I feel or if i'm stupid to believe him. He is a drinker anyway, ...
A. 6 November 2009: That's how it starts..just once, and they promise to never do it again..but they will..again and again. Protect yourself and start thinking ahead. This is just the beginning. Take it from someone who has been there. His word is good only until the ... (read in full...)
Why can't she see that her actions and lack of consideration are a huge cause of our problems?
Q. My gf did not come home last night. We live together. I called and left a message when I arrived home form work and then I waited until 10pm before trying to call her again. She would not answer my calls or return my texts. I texted her to ask her ...
A. 6 November 2009: She is very disrespectful and inconsiderate of your situation and your feelings. Sorry to be cruel, but she sounds like a spoiled brat. Do not give into her little rants. As the other aunts say, put your foot down, tell her you cannot and will not ... (read in full...)
I'm not "in love" with my girlfriend, and she's kind of crazy. I'm scared to break up with her, what do I do?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half now and I've realized that I'm not "IN" love with her ....we get along great sometimes but most of the time it's real bad fighting and its REAL bad if we've be drinking.... she starts hitting me ...
A. 30 October 2009: I'm sorry for the dilemma that you are in, it can't be easy. But if you don't love someone, you don't love them and its time to move on. As hard as it may be, you need to end things with this girl. You aren't doing yourself or her and favors by ... (read in full...)
To cheat or not to cheat? Can mongamy really exist?
Q. Monogamy - can it REALLY exist - or is it natural to struggle with this? I'm asking this question because it seems like everyone cheats. On a marriage, in a relationship, etc. And if they don't it's usually because they "don't want to hurt" th...
A. 29 October 2009: Yes, monogamy does exist, and not everyone cheats. You hear about all the people that cheat, and all the problems that comes from it, but trust me, many many people are honest and faithful to each other. My SO and I have been in a relationship for 8 ... (read in full...)
Can online romance be real?
Q. Hi everybody. I just want to ask you guys question. Do you guys believe in online love? I met this guy who have same birthday,same satuition about pass relationship and almost everything are same.We chat on the internet for couple times. Yesterday ...
A. 28 October 2009: Yes, you can meet someone online and fall in love. That's how I met my SO originally. He's the love of my life, and we've been together for almost 8 years now. BUT...alot of people get caught up in the "magic" and fantasy that online romances can ... (read in full...)
He initiates "eye romances" with other women
Q. My Boyfriend and I have been living together for 3 years, and I have been putting up with his ROVING EYES the entire time. ANY time that we go anywhere, he ALWAYS finds another female that he is attracted to... and makes no secret of it. He first ...
A. 27 October 2009: This would be very hurtful to me as well. I wouldn't be able to put up with it. I'm assuming this man is close to your age right? He's acting like a teenager. Its disrespectful and quite frankly, I would find it disgusting. Of course you feel hurt! ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends make fun of me for my beliefs and he always takes their side!
Q. My bf's friends put me down for my Christian values and beliefs. They always make fun of me and put me down. My bf doesnt say anything to them. He lets them get away with it. In fact, he basically defends them and takes their side!!! He says ...
A. 27 October 2009: Sweetheart..why are you with this guy? He's very inconsiderate of your feelings. This isn't the type of man that you want by your side when things get rough. He would bail out on you in a minute. Believe in yourself, you deserve someone far better ... (read in full...)
I don't think I can stand to have him in my life anymore, should I just walk away?
Q. This is kinda a followup to something i logged in April. The guy that i am seeing on and off as friends has again being going through a rough time. I have tried to be supportive but he just keeps pushing me away. We were supposed to be meeting up ...
A. 27 October 2009: You've been through this 5 times and you're wondering if you want to go through it again..well, how much can your heart take? Perhaps he's not meaning to, but he's hurting you quite deeply, isn't he? Is this really the way you want to live? And ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should trust him?
Q. my partner of 6yrs went on a night out for a big game so lot's of drink consumed and when the team won partying didnt stop.... he went to a female work colleagues house who lives in the opposite direction to our house with two others after a night ...
A. 27 October 2009: I think it all comes down to trust. You either trust him, or you don't. Has he had a habit of lying to you in the past? Has he cheated? If he has, then of course you should be concerned. If not, isn't it possible that he's telling the truth? Unless ... (read in full...)
I'm only 34 but I feel like my life is over
Q. hey everyone i really need a sympathetic ear here. im 34 years old and feel life is over. im in a dead end job, in a debt programme for the next 4 years and am alone. everyone around me is happy engaged or married and i seem to only be with peo...
A. 27 October 2009: Oh sweetie..first of all, here's a big hug! I'm sorry for everything that you are going through, and the sadness that you are feeling. Of course you feel sad and overwhelmed. Who wouldn't? Caringguy gave excellent advice. I'd like to add that your ... (read in full...)
Escort girlfriend and sleepless nights, Part 2.
Q. Hello, I posted a question for advice some time ago which you can read here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/escort-girlfriend-true-love-and-sleepless-nights-help.html As pathetic as it may seem I am not yet free of the situation. I was won...
A. 26 October 2009: Its never wrong to care about someone, its just that sometimes that person can be very destructive in our life and as much as we love them, deep down inside we get to the point where we know they aren't good for us. I'm afraid that is where you are. ... (read in full...)
How should I handle her being upset with me?
Q. Hey ive been seeing this woman for a little less than 2 months now and i am really into her. she has a kid and is 3 years older than i am. We are not official yet because she basically wants to make sure i am the right guy. we work togeth...
A. 26 October 2009: Secrets never stay secrets for long, and if you aren't more careful the whole workplace will know that you two are seeing each other. And trust me, nothing gets around faster than gossip..so cool it! Stop talking to her at work about personal ... (read in full...)
My wife lied about her past and I feel like I want to leave her!
Q. My wife told me she only ever had one boyfriend before me and she only ever slept with him twice. After 23 years together i discover that she was in fact in a sexual relationship with him for 2 years and then with another guy for 6 months. Having ...
A. 23 October 2009: Do you really want to throw away 23 years for this? Are you sure? Its not like she was a prostitute or something and didn't tell you. I'm sorry, but I think you're being rather harsh on her. Why not just talk to her? I don't believe this is worth ... (read in full...)
Aries male crazy over a Saggittarius girl. Need Help!
Q. Classic Aries male in his 30's and I have a professional relationship with a classic Saggittarius female who's been driving me crazy. This girl could possibly be put on earth to be my soulmate. I love everything about her. Now the problem is two ...
A. 23 October 2009: I know many people take stock in astrological signs, but I'm not one of them. So let's toss that out. If you like this woman, you shouldn't approach her while you are in a relationship. It's not fair to either lady. And if she's a decent woman and ... (read in full...)
I'm not that girly, but I want to become more girly.
Q. i'm 16 and in my second year of high school. ok so i'm not that girly, but i want to become more girly. i always wear a black shirt and blue skinny jeans. my shoes are black converse and i wear lots of black eyeliner and my hair is covering one of ...
A. 18 October 2009: If you're not "girly" then you can't suddenly become "girly". I mean, you can fake it by wearing different clothing, but underneath, you are who you are. To give the illusion of girly, stop wearing all dark colors, throw in some blues, greens, ... (read in full...)
What does she want? She says she is really into me but then she just wants to be friends!
Q. Okay, here goes.....This may be quite lengthy so bare with me.....Okay I work with this lady and she is ABSOLUTELY STUNNING! (in my eyes anyway!) I'm not bad looking myself and there has always been a physical attraction between us. We knew each ...
A. 16 October 2009: The other aunts gave you fantastic advise. I think this is kind of a "once burned, twice shy" thing for this lady. I think she really likes you, goes with her heart/instinct says things, and then starts thinking about what she said or how it came ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant but my husband wants me to abort the baby!
Q. I am 38,my husband 46, we both has a daughter from previous marriage, 15 and 13. Now I am pregnant, but my husband does not want the baby. He wants me to do abortion. what I should do? He even wants to divorce! Help!...
A. 9 October 2009: You've heard from our wonderful uncles, now how about an aunt's spin on it? Plain and simple...unless you're in a financial situation and truly can't afford the baby, your husband is quite a jackass. And even if money was a problem, he's still being ... (read in full...)
What does an escort do in bed? My fiance uses their services.
Q. I found out my fiance using escort many many times. He said the sex with them is simple. No pussy licking. Just doggy style and bj. Is this true? what exactly does really escort do in bed? ...
A. 9 October 2009: I would imagine that for the right price they will do just about anything within reason. Depends on how kinky and how much the man is willing to pay. I have to agree with the other aunts...you seem very calm about this. I'd be saying "see ya" after ... (read in full...)
Is it right to have sex before marriage or is it better to wait?
Q. Is it good Sex before Marriage? We have seen many questions from teens who loss their virginity in teen age and some boys and girls wait for his/her life partner and enjoy the virginity loss with his/her life partner. So, is it right to have sex ...
A. 22 September 2009: This truly is a personal thing, and there are no right or wrong answers, everyone has their own beliefs and feelings about sex. For me, sex is a big deal, and it was important to me to know how compatible I was sexually with the man I was going to ... (read in full...)
A twin thing?
Q. Hi, Please help.. I have been in a loving relationship with my girlfriend for a few years, she is completely different to anyone else I have been with, but I cannot help finding an attraction to her twin sister. I have never been someone to c...
A. 22 September 2009: I was married to a twin, but they were fraternal, looked nothing alike..acted nothing alike. If they are identical, then of course looks wise you might be attracted to the sister..but I'd look at that from a logical point of view and LEAVE it at ... (read in full...)
I'm finding it hard to love my daughter
Q. Im having a hard time building a relationship with my 1 year old daughter. Dont get me wrong, i love her but its just so hard being a single parent. Sometimes i look at her and i just dont undertand why i have to be alone and take care of all the ...
A. 22 September 2009: I don't think you are a bad person, I think you're very young, and had a child under extreme circumstances. Having been a single parent at 21 (after being married) I certainly know what you are going through. Its HARD work, and can be very scary and ... (read in full...)
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