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Why won't these lusting feeling leave me alone about a man whom I know is taken?

Tagged as: Friends, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2014)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid , I am really in lust with this guy I have tried to fight my feelings but my feelings always win.He is a brick house stallion this man is taken and I know this. But we flirt back and forward with our eyes that's all but i really want to be on him back and forward.I get love sick everytime I see him it's like puppy love or being in love with a man that I truly want to be mine and knowing he will never be mine cuts me like a knife.How can I look at him with out lust in my eyes ?:(

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A female reader, Atsweet1 United States +, writes (18 April 2014):

Atsweet1 agony auntI meet people like this often. Very attractive umm the lust never goes alway it will always be there. If you know he is taken or married that is crossing a line that can cause alot of hurt and pain to you and others. Taken or married people sometime plays games to to lure you in for attention Im sure he is enjoying it alot. I wouldnt put myself out the race if you know he is not married and just dating or in a serious relationship. Its a possibility in that case he might find you the same a very attractive person. I dont go with looks to much cause people I find attractive most people dont I look at the heart actions personality is what makes you attractive to me over physical beauty. I was dating a guy he not very attractive but not ugly his true attitude made him ugly. But when he was nice a sweet you know like most folks in the beginning of relationships I was able to look past physical appearance.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2014):

It's human-nature to want more what we can't have. He's a passing crush, and the more you see him; the more you'll fixate. You are at the age when your sex-drive is at it's peak. Attribute this partially to your hormones!

Nothing wrong with enjoying the fantasy, but chill out with the googly-eyes and flirting. He has a girlfriend; so don't keep advertising your availability, and tempting yourself.

It's like being on a diet, and buying a carrot cake just to use as a center-piece. The more you look at it, the more you'll want a piece. So avoid him until the fever passes.

The worst case scenario; he makes advances, you cheat. Then he dumps you cold, and goes back to his girlfriend.

Love is being used out of context here. Find yourself someone single and available to release your built-up sexual-tension.

Being used seems like a great idea when you really want someone; then when it really happens, the heart has a way of betraying us. It gets broken when we don't get to keep the prize.

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A female reader, PeanutButter United States +, writes (17 April 2014):

PeanutButter agony auntSometimes when a person is taken it suddenly makes them even more desirable than they were before and so I am sure that isn't helping but you really are doing yourself no favors flirting with him, either. I would knock it down a notch and try and keep your feelings to yourself and eventually those feeling should dissipate and you should be able to move on!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2014):

Omg Lmbo best laugh of today thanks catty cakes :) but I think that would make me fall to pieces just knowing he's in there.

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A female reader, cattycakes United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2014):

Imagine him in the bathroom making a lot of wind or blowing his nose.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 April 2014):

Honeypie agony auntStop flirting? The flirting is part of his "charm" and partly why you are crushing on him. So cut it out?

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