New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245003 questions, 1084489 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Why is the news of my ex being engaged bringing me down?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I broke up with my ex of 5 years a few years ago. She broke up with me and got together with the guy she was cheating on me with. Just found out recently they got engaged. I have a great girlfriend now and we have such a good time together so why is this news bringing me down?

View related questions: broke up, engaged, my ex

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Artistry United States +, writes (30 November 2008):

Artistry agony auntHi, Everything that has been said is good advice. I would just like to add, that we are all human. You had a long relationship with your ex, you trusted her and she betrayed that trust. Now you hear that she has is engaged to the guy she cheated with, while with you. You broke up probably because of that, with very bad feelings on your part, which you carried around for a long time. I am sure you did not at the time try to find out why she did what she did, you just moved on, that as someone else memtioned did not bring any "closure" as they say, to the episode. So the hurt feelings never quite healed. At this point, you should resolve it within yourself, and let the news be the wrapping up of all of it. We always, or at least some of us do, think, that people should be punished for hurting us, without cause, and it doesn't always happen that way. This was not punishment for her, and you feel betrayed again. Let it go, you are with someone who you care about, and is probably very good for you. Remember a cheater is a cheater, you have a good person. Concentrate on the future and leave the past in the past. Good luck to you always. Be happy that you didn't marry your ex, as I said acheater is a cheater. Take care.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, olliew Ireland +, writes (30 November 2008):

Don't feel bad, what you are feeling is natural,there are probably a bit of leftover emotions to deal with,i dont think i'd handle it any better,with a five year relationship you probably thought you'd be the one she was going to settle down with.

If i were you i'd turn my attention back on your current girlfriend as she and you are doing well and she might misread you and not feel you care enough,no-one likes to feel second best.

<-- Rate this answer


A female reader, luvy duvy United States +, writes (29 November 2008):

luvy duvy agony auntIt's okay. You are not with her physically, but you are still emotionaly attached to her thats why it's bothering you. have a girlfriend, so don't look into it as if something may still be there with your ex...Try to keep what you have now...don't move back. Looking more into it may not sit to well with your current girlfriend...but if you do, explaine to your girlfriend that you need closure.

Don't beat yourself up about it...It's okay.

<-- Rate this answer


Add your answer to the question "Why is the news of my ex being engaged bringing me down?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft