A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend and I dated in school only for a month when he suddenly broke it off. I was really hurt because I have deep feelings for him and we talked about our future a lot even though it was short lived. He ended up apologizing for his behavior about six months later. I haven't spoken to him in like 8 years and all of a sudden, he keeps liking everything on my social media and comments on my photos. I recently took up mountain biking and he said he wants to go biking with me since he does that too. He does have a girlfriend though and I can't tell if he genuinely wants a biking buddy or if he is interested in me again. We also live about 4 hours away from each other so it would be a big deal if we hung out again. Does he need closure or something for the way he treated me?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (16 August 2018):
 Two things hit me in your post.
Firstly, you were both KIDS when you dated for ONE MONTH. Yes, you MAY have talked about your future but, seriously, at that age and after only dating for 4 weeks, did you really think it would come to anything? Everyone is "madly in love" for the first few weeks of a relationship at that age. It is not real. You are older and more mature now. You know that, heady as "young love" is, it is no substitute for "proper" love.
Secondly, HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND. Perhaps you should message HER and ask her how she feels about her boyfriend contacting his ex and suggesting they meet up. If YOU were the girlfriend and he was doing this behind YOUR back, how would YOU feel?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2018): Post Script:
You've grown into adulthood, lived eight years of life, and did just fine up to now. Love for someone does not develop in a mere month, come to a screeching-halt; and continue on 8 years in someone's absence. That's more like an obsession.
You don't need drama. You were just fine. Besides, one month isn't even enough time to consider him an ex. He was a crush. You wouldn't have written a post unless you were tempted, and about to take him up on his offer. It would be a bad decision.
A can of worms you would regret opening. Move on, dear!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2018): Seriously?!! You don't smell a rat???
You don't hear from this guy for 8 long years; and he's suddenly liking you on social media?
He's not looking for a biking-buddy; he's looking for a boinking-buddy!
There's a big "BUT" in the way...BUT he has a girlfriend! How would she feel about you biking with her boyfriend? I have an idea... why don't you ask her?
This is not high school. He broke-up with you after only a month. How do you fall so deeply for someone inside a month? Those were school-girl feelings. It takes years to develop the right mentality, maturity, and experience to understand the feelings of true-love. This mess is all about lust! He buttered you up and flattered you about some pics. Big deal!
It was a gullibility test! You've passed, you're gullible!
I said gullible, as in naive. I didn't say stupid. In his mind, that would translate as stupid.
Get real and get a grip here, Girlfriend!
He's counting on you being the pathetic desperately lonely-female full of romantic-fantasy and unrequited-love from the past. It's worth at least a quick hookup or two. Oh, he will turn on the charm and push all the right buttons. He has already pushed a few!
My dear, you're too dignified for this. Tell him it's okay if you can get permission from his girlfriend.
You and I both know you don't want to ask her permission; and I can tell you what her response would be. Go to a very hot place located in the earth's very core; or she will use a few expletives to replace your name! Block him on social media! It's total desperation when you have to steal boyfriends from other women. This is not about biking, and you know it!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 August 2018):
 I'd just block him. Honestly.
He isn't a friend or someone you absolutely need to keep in your life.
No, I don't think he is looking for a biking buddy. He is either bored in his relationship and hopes YOU still have some feelings for him. Or he just wants his ego stroked and you seem available.
He has a GF, OP. I', sure if he WAS your BF you wouldn't be a fan of him reaching out to old flames trying to rekindle shit..
Does he needs closure? No. He moved on in life (and hopefully so did you). You two were young and inexperienced when you dated for that "whole month", no "closure" is needed for breaking up with you. He did apologize to you already to the air should have been cleared a LONG LONG time ago.
I'd definitely NOT encourage any more contact and yes, I would consider just blocking him. He doesn't need to go through your "life" on Facebook or elsewhere. That is actually a little creepy. All that attention he ought to focus on his GF... don't you think?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 August 2018):
 You where both in school and very young when you got together for that month. Am sure it was special and maybe even your first love, but I think you now need to close that chapter off your life and move on! He apologized for breaking up with you so that was the closure that you both needed! I am sure the both off you have grown and changed in to different people in those 8 years. Yes he might be liking things on social media but that doesn't mean anything. You are an old school friend someone he dated for a few weeks and he is keeping in touch. You took up biking something he is interested in so maybe he thought some day it would be nice to catch up and do it together. He has a girlfriend so why would you think he is interested in you again? Use where only kids and it was only a month so I doubt he would throw away his relationship on a childhood crush! I doubt he needs closure he already apologized its not like he was abusive was he? I think you need to let this go.
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