New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245013 questions, 1084536 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Should I have to put up with this man staying at my home?

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 August 2016) 9 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2016)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Could you stay with your partner if he invited his brother to stay at our home after finding out the brother had an affair with my daughter in law (my son's wife) in our home?

View related questions: affair

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, Lost girl1417 United States +, writes (30 August 2016):

Seeing the grand kids isn't the issue. Hubby says that everyone's moved on but me. I feel like every time I see them the old wounds resurface. I'm not usually an angry type person, but the two of them make me wanna throw up...this weekend is their yearly family weekend away together. He doesn't understand why I won't go n be with him n his kids. I'm in total confusion! Help!!! So would you wanna stay 3 days under the same roof and meals as family? He's making me think I'm crazy!!!!

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Lost girl1417 United States +, writes (27 August 2016):

I do see my grandkids (10 and 9)when they are with my son. They can stand the situation either, it's weird to them to now be living with grandma's hubby brother!!! I've tried expressing to hubby that I don't want to be part of his family get togethers. He says he just wants to make everyone happy and keep the peace, I said I think it's disrespectful to me that he hangs out and goes golfing with the two of them and doesn't tell me about it, I do d out from other people. I feel like he has more respect for them and their situation rather than my feelings toward them. I will never forget the hurt they both caused my entire family.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (26 August 2016):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThat sounds - to me - like an adequate reason to insist that the creep stay elsewhere when he visits....

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (26 August 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI would not have him under my roof if he done that to my son. Tell him he is not welcome in your home, your partner should have more respect for you. Your son should come first here. Off course it is hard for you to be around your husbands family, especially your brother in law. But if you have grand children then it is important to spend time with them.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 August 2016):

Honeypie agony auntDon't attend family functions where she and the BIL will be at? OR suck it up for the grand babies.

Fortunately there are NO rules that say you HAVE to love your in-laws or WANT to be around them.

Personally? I'd stick with suck it up for the grand babies. However, I would not waste much time socializing with them, so at family gatherings I'd focus on the kids and the people I ACTUALLY like.

I however, would NOT accept that my husband invited someone to stay at MY home without clearing it with me first. Be it his brother or anyone else. Just like I wouldn't just invite people to come live with us without asking him.

Have you talked to your husband about the situation at all? You say he doesn't seem upset by it, to me that is just odd that he is OK with it. But maybe talking it through can help you both?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2016):

No I wouldn't have a relative who cheated on my son living under the same roof .. no matter if they are grown ups .. its like your accepting that behaviour by doing so .. so I would have a tasteful word in my husband ear .. good luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Lost girl1417 United States +, writes (26 August 2016):

My son did divorce her. However, I have a hard time at family functions on husband's side, seeing them and my grandkids. It's a constant battle, my husband doesn't seem to be upset at all.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2016):

My son has moved on realizing what a piece of trash she was. I am just having a hard time with family functions on my husband's side seeing them and my grandkids. I want nothing to do with his brother or my ex daughter inlaw. It's putting a strain on our relationship. I don't know how to put it behind me when it's constantly in my face

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 August 2016):

Honeypie agony auntCould I stay with my partner? Sure, but the BIL would be out on his ear. Just because I think he is a piece of crap for doing it. However, as much as you want to be momma-bear and protect your son, this is between YOUR son, his wife and your BIL. NOT you or your husband. Doesn't mean you HAVE to accept the BIL staying at YOUR home.

Maybe as a silver lining your son got "lucky" knowing what kind of wife he has and hopefully he will divorce her cheating bum.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Should I have to put up with this man staying at my home?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312067000049865!