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My husband thinks my vagina should be "like a virgin"...

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2006) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2007)
A female , *tractive writes:

I have a husband. We married in 2004, but now he doesn't want sex with me because he want me like a virgin.p />

He wants my vagina should be too small. I don't know what to do to make small my vagina.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007):

There are ways to make it smaller, do research. Like any series of muscles there are excersizes and tools if you are comfortable enough.

Personally I think his request is extremely unfair.

Try something, ask him if he masturbates. If so, he may be using too tight of a grip. (He's not exactly desensitizing his penis but he is accustoming himself to a hold -no- vagine could provide). He needs to loosen his grip until he gets used to another sensation.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2006):

go get the surgery to make it smaller but not virgin cause that's just too tight unless he has a small penis

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A female reader, doublethink +, writes (31 July 2006):

doublethink agony auntHe wants you to be like a virgin? Is this because he enjoys the sensation of a tighter vagina, or because he has a virgin-fantasy going?

If he just likes to imagine having sex with a virgin, you could try some role-play - no change needed to your body, and a different experience for both of you.

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A reader, Rainee United States +, writes (31 July 2006):

Rainee agony auntThis situation is like a woman saying to her husband, "I'm not having sex with you again until you grow your penis to fit me!" It's ridiculous.

Your husband is acting like an idiot, because after being married for a while and having normal marital relations, you aren't "like a virgin" anymore, and it's all his fault.

Anonymous is completely right. Kegel exercises are great for things like this. They're fairly easy to do, and unlike most exercises, don't leave you all sweaty and tired (leave the sweaty and tired for sex). They can be one of the best things a woman can do for her sexual health, and for your nincompoop of a husband, can simulate the tightness of virginity.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006):

It is impossible to make a vagina smaller without surgery and there's no need. The vagina is essentially a muscle, which, as others posted, can be stretched over time by childbearing; gaining weight; dropped bladders; or intercourse with varying sizes of penises.

There are exercises called the Kegel Exercises - they help strengthen pelvic muscles which help keep in place all the lower organs, and can signficantly increase a woman's ability to control her vagina, thereby giving the impression of being "smaller" by giving her the ability to tightly squeeze the vaginal muscles around a penis upon penetration.

Side benefit - amazing sensation for the woman. I've been doing them for years and when aroused, can achieve orgasm by doing them, even in public, completely unperceptible to anyone watching. I've orgasmed on a bus, at a concert and in a waiting room standing next to this incredibly good-looking man who smelled amazing. Check out the link - and enjoy!

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2006):

DrPsych agony auntVagina's stretch with lots of sexual intercourse and babies. Therefore if anyone is to blame for the size of your bits and pieces then it is your husband. I am sure there is rather more to this problem that just the size...maybe he is insecure about his own genitals. Maybe you should consider marriage counselling to discuss these issues as his criticism of your body maybe a reflection of his dissatisfaction with the marriage more generally - it maybe an easy excuse to say what he has when there are other emotional issues associated with your sexual relationship that he is more reluctant to discuss. Either way try not to worry as there is little you can do personally about the size of your vagina!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006):

What the f... ...hell? You can't make it small, unless you go to a surgeon, but... Umm, or maybe during sex, you can try tightening your muscles, but... What's wrong with your husband?!

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