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Improve Image Or Relationship?

Tagged as: Dating, Love stories, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 November 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 8 December 2008)
A male Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend and I have been together for eight months. We love eachother very much and have just finished school, and no, we haven't had sex, and we don't plan to for a very long time. This is my first relationship but this is her third because her first two only wanted sex. It's because of this she decided to be more cautious which is understandable so naturally she became a bit overcautious. This involved no kissing and rare hugs because she felt really uncomfortable. Today she told me she really wants to touch me more it's just that she's real nervous or frightened to. She was frightened that I'd brake up with her over this, however she and her parents are incredibly surprised that I haven't. Her Mom said I had balls of steel. She knows that if I were to break up with her, heaven forbid, she probably wouldn't be able to find someone who would wait that long ever again.

Now, I'm a member of an acting agency that gets people into TV commercials and stuff. And several ads include modelling and kissing random girls on camera. And as I've never has my first kiss yet, I realized today I'd feel really uncomfortable doing so knowing my girlfriend and I haven't done so yet, even though she has told me she feels comfortable with me doing so as it's to improve my image in the media and to get paid. However, I've told her that I'm now going to refuse to do any commercials or anything that involves kissing another person until I she's ready to bond like that, keeping in mind I could make up alot of money (plus I have a part-time job anyway ;)). She has taken this as a big compliment and has suggested we might have ours on our big Year 12 Leavers week, but I have left this completely upto her...Am I doing the right thing by refusing to improve my image to do that? What's better? Improving image or relationship? My gut instinct tells me the latter is better ;)

View related questions: kissing, money

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008):

you sound like an awesome awesome guy and i agree with your choice to save kissing for your gf

i bet when she finally does get physical with you it will be way way better than for any guy that got with their girl straight away!

happy relationship! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008):

Another thought, you NEVER forget your 1st kiss, so it should VERY special with someone you LOVE. :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008):

Sorry, but I recently seen a photo shoot with a husband kissing a Model. It was for clothes I think, and it was very provocative. I could tell he was getting turned on and her too.

If I was your girlfriend, I couldn't handle it. I recently went to the movie Fireproof. The actor made a promise to not kiss anyone but his wife in movies. The last scene was kissing, but it was in silouette and the actress traded places with the wife. How Romantic, I love it! p.s. I love that you're waiting...(you can't miss what you've never had), and your wedding night will be the real deal :)

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A female reader, Jizelle United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2008):

Aww your girlfriend is lucky to have found a guy as sweet and patient as you :)

Don't stress too much about the adverts too much, like Emilyanswers said, you rarely see kissing in them anyway.

Keep taking things at your own pace, and kiss when it feels like the right time.


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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2008):

You are only young, I doubt and agency would try and force you into something like that and in my experience it is rare to never that you see kissing in TV adverts anyway.

You really don't need to worry about improving your image in TV at this stage.

Chill out and give your girlfriend a cuddle.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, Asked Angel United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2008):

Asked Angel agony auntMay i just say what a lucky girl your g/f is! You sound like a lovely b/f which is just what your she needs. If you really care for this girl (which it sounds like you really do) please carry on being patient it will be worth it in the end. I am sure that she will be able to trust you fully very soon and your relationship will go from strength to strength.

Good luck

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A female reader, helpjayne United Kingdom +, writes (23 November 2008):

helpjayne agony auntyour relationship but if she really truly doesn't mind it then you should go for it if you wana. i mean a kiss with a stranger don't ever mean as much as with someone you've loved for ages. this is guna be one of them things that you and her will have to feel comfy with eventually or you could wait until after you and her have had your first kiss and then try to improve your image. i think wait until you and your gf are happy and all kissed out. it'l make her more confident that you care more about her than your image and that's like one of the cutest things anyone could ever do for a girl.


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