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How can I approach this subject with her without causing problems with her current relationship?

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Question - (2 December 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2008)
A male United Kingdom, anonymous writes:


I could do with some advice with this one... I grew up with a girl called Jenny when I was younger... our parents were best friends... she and me (Chris) went to school together, spent the holidays together... did virtually everything together.. we knew each other quite well anyway in 1999 me and my mum moved away and we lost contact only I've managed to locate and get back in touch with her. Finally, yesterday I spoke with her for the first time in 9 years, she's 21 now... I'm 20.. she now has a boyfriend.. but according to her facebook profile it says she is single... now when we were younger we did some things together whch we never told anyone about. We ended up having feelings for each other at some point.. but now because of what happened a few years back this always plays on my mind and I wanna talk to her about it you know and see how she is doing but I know at some point one of us will probably mention the things that happened between us and I don't want to spoil her relationship but then again I don't want to lie to her about my feelings towards her now.

Does anyone have any idea as to how I can approach this subject with her without causing problems with her current relationship??

any advice would be greatly helpful


View related questions: best friend, facebook, has a boyfriend

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A female reader, katatonik United States +, writes (2 December 2008):

katatonik agony auntIt's admirable of you to worry about ruining her current relationship, but if she's happy in the relationship that she is in I doubt anything you can say to her will change her mind about it. If you confessing your feelings to her does cause her to question her current relationship then it probably wasn't strong enough to have lasted anyway. Try talking to her on platonic terms first and see what happens from there. Good luck =]

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A female reader, luvy duvy United States +, writes (2 December 2008):

luvy duvy agony auntHi!

Start off by telling her that you are not looking to mess up her relationship, but you still have feelings for her. (say it with all of your feelings and every any emotion you have)

Tell her that you are willing to wait...(only if you are)...until she is single to start dating and talking again...if she would like.

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