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He lied - should I confront him?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 29 November 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

theres a guy i like n he likes me or so i thought we were supposed to be seeing each other and going out tomorrow , he said for a joke about going on a dating website he knew i wasnt happy about that and he said he wasnt really , ive just discovered hes on there and i feel like all the blood drained from me so he lied instead of being honest do i just pretend i dont know hes done this or confront him . (my mate is on the site thats how i saw he was too coz she was looking for dates) what exactly should i say to him ?

thanks

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (29 November 2014):

janniepeg agony auntYou've been dating for a few months and he is still not committed. Still it's not a nice thing to joke about, especially when he knows you don't like it. That means he knows you want more than what he's giving you.

You should say to him that if he is still not sure where you stand then you will have to date others because this is not going anywhere.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2014):

im the op of this question, we have already gone past the stage of first date n weve known each other a few month now , forgot to mention that

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2014):

You're not committed. You hardly know the guy, and he really has the right to be on a dating site; or date other people, if he wants to. So can you. You're only at the introductory stage, and haven't even had a first date. Chill out!

You can't start-out telling him what to do. You shouldn't take that from him either. Just get to know him, and find out if there are any real deal-breakers. He wasn't joking when he said he was on a website. He was testing your reaction, and also letting you know that this is only a date.

If things go well the first date; then you can casually mention you're not on a dating site at the moment, and would prefer that he wasn't either. He may confess and put all your concerns to rest. You may not even like him as much as you think. You've already accused him of lying. Things are a bit premature to be expecting him to cutoff all his options. Keep yours open too, if you're wise!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (28 November 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntForget the "date"... go "no contact"... and, if he asks "Why?" tell him that you learned that he's a lying scum... and you have no place in your life for such a despicable creature.....

Good luck....

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (28 November 2014):

Since the extent of your relationship is "liking each other", I think that you don't have much to lose here by responding to his lie any way you see fit. You know more about yourself and the situation then we do.

If it's not that big of a deal then forget about it. You aren't in a committed relationship until you say you are.

If it is a big deal then tell him how you feel and what you expect if you're going to continue dating each other.

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