| Latest articles: Oh, how things change.
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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7 October 2012: Last time I visited DearCupid, I was a lonely teenager of about seventeen: never had a girlfriend, and moaning pathetically about it to all who would listen. Terrified that I was destined to be alone forever. Now, I sit and type to you as a twen...
Happy days... :)
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2010: Hey guys! I haven't been on DearCupid in MONTHS, and I'm happy to say that, upon returning, I can still see some really great advice being given and received EVERYWHERE! You haven't changed a bit :) Except... I was just browsing through the ar...
Valentine's day 2010...
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 February 2010: For those who don't know or haven't read my posts before, my name's Josh, and the biggest aspect of my love-life at the moment is that it hasn't existed yet. To read more about this, check my column and my other articles out (Y) However, this ...
Not just a metaphor...
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 August 2009: Two weeks ago I was in Germany. The Rhine Valley, to be precise. I went there on a trip with my Wind Band. I wont say what I play, for fear of discorvery, lol. Any one of the 66 people with me could be on this site! One of the other 66 people ...
More about the classic "Be yourself"...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
15 November 2008: "Be yourself..." classic advice on how to get a girl/boy interested in you. They should love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be to catch their eye. This is all well and good. But who is "yourself"? Is it the person at home: reasonably...
Prents!! Prime examples!! "Do you want a smack?" - "Are you going out looking like THAT?" No, of course I don't want a bloody smack! and Yes, I am going out looking like THIS!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 September 2008: Has anyone noticed, that for all their showing-off, their cars, and their "I'm-dad/mum-so-that-makes-me-right" attitde, that parents tend to be slightly ridiculous most of the time? I mean, I still dont know the answer to "Where did you lose it?" ...
Help wanted: extra agony aunts/uncles required
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2008: I've been a member of this site for a while now, and from what I've seen here, I can conclude almost every agony aunt/uncle here is a good person: someone who likes to help out, to dish out wisdom by the barrel. I have thoroughly enjoyed adding to ...
How do you define "love" ?
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 July 2008: I read a question posted recently that got me thinking: Can you fall in love before sex? Well, the answer is plain and simple: of course! But what I started thinking about was, how do people view love and sex? I know for a fact, for instance...
You're probably luckier than you think!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 June 2008: Guys, how old were you when you first entered a relationship? 11? 12? I know one guy who went out with a girl at the age of 7 years old. It tends to vary, of course, but it's normally around 10-13 these days. Perhaps some of you decided to wait lon...
Know who it is you think you love!
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 June 2008: About a year ago, when I was 14, a girl found out that I liked her. This goes back to almost four years ago; when I first met her, thoughts went buzzing to my brain: "she's beautiful... she's smart... she's cute... she's funny... she likes to ...
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How do I get him to ask me out?
Q. I have known this great guy for about a month and we belong to the same club at school. We flirt, joke and stare at each other all the time. I can tell that he is a nice guy who might be on the shy side at first. Is there any way I could get him to ...
A. 30 January 2009: It IS traditional for the guy to ask the girl... but nowadays, people tend to dispence with tradition and just go for it. It's not always a good thing. But in this situation, I think it might be. Ask him. If he's shy, you might have a bit of a wait ... (read in full...)
Why do guys seem to get over a girl so easily?
Q. Why do guys forget or get over a girl they really loved so easily? Is it possible or are they just acting cool to hide feelings because people may call them wimps etc. Is it possible and why do guys do that? Guys answers especially would be good ...
A. 20 January 2009: Trust me, if a guy gets over a girl THAT quickly, he probably didnt love her as much as he said he did.
However, it's more than likely they are just burying any residual feelings beneath layers of "coolness," so as insensative as we may seem, we h... (read in full...)
Do we exist?
Q. Im going to pick an emotion or whatever you call them. Love. Is it an emotion? A feeling? A force? You are welcome to post your opinion. My opinion is that there is no such thing... the most perfect explanation. Its just an illusion, an hal...
A. 19 January 2009: God, this is one of the most depressing opinions I've heard since I was taught we were all a cosmic accident! How can you question love? Not that your theory doesnt have merit, but I just find it absurd that something as outrageously wonderful as ... (read in full...)
Can men just be friends with girls?
Q. How do men honestly feel about attractive, good looking and even hot female friends? Many of my boyfriend's female friends are gorgeous. He has known them for several years and claims that he only has platonic relationships with them. Is it possible ...
A. 30 December 2008: My apologies, "anon e mouse." Perhaps I should have worded my "statistic" differently.
"A TEENAGE guy (ie, sort of 15 up) thinks about sex ABOUT once every 10 seconds, ON AVERAGE."
Better? Can I ask your age? I'm 16, so I think I can vouch for that... (read in full...)
Can men just be friends with girls?
Q. How do men honestly feel about attractive, good looking and even hot female friends? Many of my boyfriend's female friends are gorgeous. He has known them for several years and claims that he only has platonic relationships with them. Is it possible ...
A. 28 December 2008: Friendships differ in relation to the genders. Guys treat other guys differently to how they treat girls. The whole "getting into her pants" thing is what's called "a caveman urge." It's a basic instinct: to put it bluntly, men want to mate with ... (read in full...)
Still young and desperately looking!
Q. Many of us teenagers seem to be looked at differently just because of the fact that we've never had boyfriends/girlfriends. Most of us are obssesed with the fact that a relationship with a person is needed ASAP. Well, I have something to tel...
A. 27 December 2008: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/youre-probably-luckier-than-you-think.html
and
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-you-define-love-.html
I know exactly what you're on about: check those out :)... (read in full...)
Big age difference! End it?
Q. Im dating someone whos 19 years older then me...and i dont know if i should finish it because of the age gap. Help? ...
A. 27 December 2008: I wouldnt end it simply because of the age gap if you both love each other. But the difference may throw up difficulties in the future, such as him wanting more out of the relationship than you're ready for (such as sex). Just be very careful in how ... (read in full...)
Is she real or not?
Q. hey, as you see i`m 14, i`v met a girl she also 14, i`v never had this in my life before, i added her on a chat program on my cell an we would chat for 7 hours stright! till 3am,an yeah i really like her, when i`m around her i bite my nails, an s...
A. 22 December 2008: I think it's clear that she does, mate. You say she has a boyfriend, though. That'll be what messes things up, not your feelings for her. I suggest you tell her how you feel, see if she feels the same way, but then let her handle her boyfriend. Dont ... (read in full...)
What do skinny girls have over fat girls? Need guys opinion
Q. hello ! Do Guys Actually Pay More Attention to Girls Looks ? 90% of men go for skinny girls with nice looks so guys answer one question what do skinny girls have what big girls dont ??...
A. 22 December 2008: Girls fall into about 4 catagories for me: Skinny, Healthy (ie, slim), Big, and OMFG THAT'S A BEACHED WHALE (which we will refer to as "Really Big") From my 16 years of experiance, I tend to find that Really Big girls have a tendency to be o... (read in full...)
What would guys rather have--babe or library type girl?
Q. are guys attracted to nice ,quiet ,shy ,innocent ,genuine ,safe,plain looking girls? would guys find girls like this boring because i am like this i am passed over for the babes who are loud,dress sexy and who are party girls. i want...
A. 22 December 2008: Personally,I would be more attractive to the one who is actually pleasant to be with, rather than one who would seem to want nothing but sex, attention and affection.
As someone who is a similar sort of the person to the one you describe your... (read in full...)
I don't believe in getting intimate with any boy just to satisfy sexual needs, I want to wait for the "one". What do you think?
Q. Hello friends. I am a 29 year old unmarried, virgin girl from India. I would like to discuss one of my beliefs with all of you. Hope you don't call me a psycho as all others call me. I have been a very outstanding student, always a topper. I am wor...
A. 10 December 2008: I agree, though I have nothing against casual relationships.
Speaking as someone who has never been ina relationship, I think it's a good idea to wait for "the one," but personally, I think refusing to have any casual relationship is not a grea... (read in full...)
Am I anorexic?
Q. People say that Im under weight and that I'm anorexic because im 5'6 and I only weigh 118 lbs.. Even my family says I am..am I where I'm supposed to be??...
A. 10 December 2008: You'll know if you have anorexia: it's a concious thing. It's basically where you become absolutely terrified of gaining weight AT ALL. If you find youself excercising loads, eating hardly anything, and spending most of your time on the scales, ... (read in full...)
Can Men really change their faults?
Q. I have a question for the Men. If you found the right girl for you, could her love and support make you change to live up to your potential? Or should you accept them exactly the way you found them even though you know... and they know they cou...
A. 8 December 2008: If a guy loves a girl, and that love is strong enough, then the simple answer is yes. Any man, deeply in love, would want to change to support, impress and demonstrate how much they love their partner.
Perhaps I am young. Perhaps I'm being a bit ... (read in full...)
Revenge tips for me to hurt a guy's feelings.
Q. hi I wanted a boyfriend all my life since I was 18 years and now I am 30 and I have never been asked out once and a lot of the guys I liked rejected me for someone who they find more sexually attractive than me. After all the rejection and hu...
A. 8 December 2008: I think you're overreacting waaaaay too much here. Have you ever read "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens? Does the name "Havisham" ring a bell?
I agree with emporessmystique: you need to go see someone about this anger. You've assumed and gern... (read in full...)
I eat and then throw up trying to lose weight, please help me!
Q. I hate my body i am 15 stones just 5 10" i eat and eat and eat then throw up i do this at lease 5 times a day i try to loss weight but it never happens i so fat and ugly i don't understand how others think im beautiful. ...
A. 2 December 2008: Your condition is known as BULIMIA NERVOSA, or "binge eating." It is EXTREMELY dangerous to your health. Go and see a doctor, in private if you have to, and he/she can refer you to any local groups or orginizations that could help you.
Alter... (read in full...)
4 Girlfriends You Never Want To Be
Q. We’ve all seen that ridiculous girl with her boyfriend and wondered how he puts up with it. Male and female alike, when we see someone so utterly clueless as to how irritating they really are, the urge to walk up and shake them is sometimes hard to ...
A. 30 November 2008: 13-15??? With writing of that quality? Now that's rare...
Interesting article... I see your point. All of them, actually. I can also see how this could help the guys out there, in a kind of reverse manner.
Thanks for the contribution: ke... (read in full...)
Should I make a move and tell her?
Q. basically in the short of things i really, really like this girl, and shes just finished with her boyfriend and shes had a bit of a rough time about it all! now while you may think im trying to make a move when shes upset, thats not my intention 1 ...
A. 30 November 2008: I wouldnt put too much pressure on her right now. Break-ups can be extremely hard on people, and adding the weight of someone else's feelings simply wont help, I'm afraid.
I know how you feel: I've been in similar situations. Speaking from exp... (read in full...)
How can I cheer up?
Q. i feel so stressed out its un believable, i just feel so annoyed and under pressure with school and stuff. I also feel so useless, and like nothings ever going right it feels like if im not here it will be better :/ please help on how i can cheer up...
A. 30 November 2008: As I dont know the best way to cheer up you personally, here's a list of what I do:
Listen to music: personally, I prefer George Gershwin's Rhapsodie in Blue... but you might be more inclined to some modern stuff, lol
Juggle: not only is it a... (read in full...)
Should I ask him out, enjoy it and most likley ruin the friendship...?
Q. There's a boy I like and I think he likes me but I'm not too sure whether to ask him out or not. I mean, my friend used to like him, so I told her how I felt, she was fine and then a couple of months later she went off him. He is also one of my ...
A. 26 November 2008: I dont see how asking him out can ruin the friendship: if it comes to a break-up, it shouldnt be that bad. I would suggest that you do ask him out. I think the whole going quiet and moving away thing could be a realisation that he's being a little t... (read in full...)
What should my boyfriend be doing to help me here?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, when we first started going out his friends would call me fat which I don't think I am not being big headed, it stopped after about three months and didn't start up again for ages except the odd ...
A. 26 November 2008: I think he's just a bit stunned that you'd consider breaking up with him because of some petty name-calling. Perhaps he should be standing up for you a bit more, but, frankly, I can see why he doesnt make a big thing of it. It's just a small in... (read in full...)
What do I do when a girl puts her head on my lap?
Q. I need to know what to do when the following things happens because they have happened to me and at that moment I have no idea what to do. When friends/crushes: 1) put their head on my shoulder 2) when they put it on my knee 3) when they hug ...
A. 22 November 2008: 1)All, rest your head on their's (gently, lol)
2)Friends, hand on shoulder, or dont react.
Crushes (if they dont know), hand on shoulder with small occasional stroke.
Crushes that know, hand on shoulder, more confidence.
Girlfriend, han... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to date me again and get his heart broken. Help!
Q. okay well i like this boy we went out like 3 times and i broke up with him all those times but idk i really likee himm alottt and he dosent want to go back out with me beacuse he said he dosent want to get his heart broken 4 times and i said im ...
A. 19 November 2008: If you miss him so much now, why break up with him all thouse times before?
Never mind. I can understand his hesitation, and I'm not sure if it's repairable. You'll just have to convince him that you still like him, and that you really want to be w... (read in full...)
My parents caught my BF fingering me and now they won't talk to me.
Q. HELPP! my parents caught my bf fingering me... and they havent spoken to me since (it happened last night and havent talked to me all night and today) are they disappointed..? sad? will they ever get over it? im so depressed right now because i ...
A. 19 November 2008: Sounds to me like your parents are just in a state of shock. It's obvious that you need to resolve this issue, but i would find out if they're ready to discuss it yet. I dont think they're scared of you growing up, but I imagine that they're a bit ... (read in full...)
Be Yourself, No Matter Who That Is.
Q. I've heard alot about how girls/guys are afraid to be themselves around their lovers, because they feel that they'll lose interest. I think you should be who youare, no matter how you dress, act, talk, or think. Love is love, no one should be judged ...
A. 19 November 2008: flipping heck, another one! That's the third article, not including my own, on this topic!
Pretty good, though I'd like to make a point: judging people is unavoidable. You can change your opinion of them, but you start subconciously judging ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she just butt out?
Q. Okay I am a part of this youth choir and it's a lot of fun besides the politics which is like everywhere n all. There is this guy I really like and he's like 3 years older than me and this girl who is like 2 years younger than me so 5 years younger ...
A. 18 November 2008: Just get together out of choir practice: get to know him better. I imagine he finds this other girl just as annoying as you do, if she keeps interrupting conversations: he wont mind meeting away from her at all I'm sure. Just, dont resort to crazy ... (read in full...)
Be yourself, don't change for anyone
Q. Hey, this is just my personal opinion. This isn't a question, just an opinion, and I would be happy to hear yours :D I believe, firmly, that you should not change who you are for anyone. I think that everyone is different and unique and diffe...
A. 18 November 2008: hey, wow, I totally didnt know this article existed until after I posted mine, lol. Nice article :)... (read in full...)
Prents!! Prime examples!! "Do you want a smack?" - "Are you going out looking like THAT?" No, of course I don't want a bloody smack! and Yes, I am going out looking like THIS!
Q. Has anyone noticed, that for all their showing-off, their cars, and their "I'm-dad/mum-so-that-makes-me-right" attitde, that parents tend to be slightly ridiculous most of the time? I mean, I still dont know the answer to "Where did you lose it?" ...
A. 24 September 2008: lol, I know and understand all that: the article was just a laugh really. The last place you look thing is stupid because, well, you dont tend to carry on looking AFTER you found it! So whilst I appreciate the comment (Seriously, I love making peop... (read in full...)
One lad in my group has started to turn my friends against me. Please help, what can I do?
Q. hi i have a problem with my friends, see ive hung around with three other lads for the past three yrs, and i am strating to feel distant from my friends, because one lad in my group has started to turn my friends against me by making comments...
A. 23 September 2008: You could go three ways here: you could go the high road and ignore him till he stops. You could take the mature option and have a quiet word with him as a friend when he isnt making comments. You could go really immature, shout and scream, then ... (read in full...)
I've wanted to always run over to him, blurt out how much I love him, and hope that he says the same in return, but I know that's just a fantasy. Help!
Q. Hey, Just wondeing, what's the best way to get a boy's attention or get him to notice you? I've just wanted to always run over to him blurt out how much i love him, and hope that he says the same in return. But i know that's just a fantasy....
A. 23 September 2008: Just start spending more time with him. Don't "stalk" him: start off small, like (assuming you dont hang around 2gether already) always saying hi when you pass him. If you already know him better than that, or you're already good friends, do what ... (read in full...)
My life is controlled by love, I hate it!!
Q. Hi, I'm 15 years old, i have been madly in love with somebody for almost three years, they have been the most miserable three years of my life. the Reason for this is because the love is unrequited. He/she is my best friend, we get along perfec...
A. 24 August 2008: I am in the exact same position now: it's horrible. Cant stop thinking about her, cant stop loving her, cant be with her: I know how you feel. There is no way I know of to make yourself stop loving someone: it's such a strong emotion that you may ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not talk to me about his problems anymore, but he talks to my best friend. Why does he shut me out?
Q. my boyfriend seems to flirt with my best friend sometimes. she doesnt flirt back but he seems to be extra nice to her. i wouldnt mind normaly, its just he talks to her as well. he tells her stuff about his family that he used to talk to me about but ...
A. 24 July 2008: You should get him alone with you and speak to him about all this. Tell him you're concerned about how much time he spends with your friend etc, and you want to spend more time with him: just the two of you. Remind him that you love him. Make sure ... (read in full...)
Before we met, my BF was not working for 5 years, do I leave him until he finds a stable job?
Q. hi all my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year now and before we wasnt dating he wasnt working for 5years , the thing is im worried i mean 5 years is long time to be out of work . hes 23 and im 27 ok not in a stable job but im working m...
A. 24 July 2008: I reccomend you stick with him nd keep giving him your support: it could be all that's keeping him going. If he just cant be bothered though, then you need to sit down with him and talk about the situation.
So, in answer to your question: yes, stic... (read in full...)
How can I tell if I like someone more than just a friend?
Q. My best friend told one of my guy friends that I get attached too easy...then I was thinking about it and I think its true..I talk this guy but I am not sure if I like him more than a friend.I told him that I liked him but then afterwards I started ...
A. 24 July 2008: You know when you like somene more than you thought you did when you start to miss them when you're not with them, even if it's only for a couple of days. You'll start to really treasure the moments you spend together, and you'll want to be with ... (read in full...)
He suddenly tells me he's not sure if he still loves me, but that he does still fancy me!
Q. Hi, i've been going out with my bf for just under 3 years and literally 16 days before the big 3. He turns around and tells me that he doesn't know if he loves me anymore. Yet he says that he still fancies me? I'm confused. - What does he...
A. 24 July 2008: Maybe the realisation that he's about to reach a milestone in your relationship has shaken him slightly. I imagine something like that can be quite daunting. Just make sure you let him know how much you still love him, and he should come to his ... (read in full...)
How long before the ex and I should try again?
Q. How long should my ex and I wait if we were to try again? It's been 2.5 weeks since the (mutual) end of my 14 month relationship. We decided to be friends. But we see each other and talk more (deeply) than we did while dating. Yesterday he br...
A. 23 July 2008: I dont really think there is a set time you have to wait before getting back together with an ex. If you're happy now, go for it! It's always worth knowing if you would have missed something or not, and if it doesnt work out a second time, just stay ... (read in full...)
He's all over the place! Can we work this out?
Q. My ex and I broke up almost a month and half ago after being together for a year and a half.for the last 3 or 4 weeks we had still been sleeping together and he still seemed concerned about my life. Last night he came over like usually and we had ...
A. 23 July 2008: I agree with Jen86: he's really insecure. I cant tell what he wants, or what he wants for you. One moment he shouts at you and blames you fo stuff you didnt do, the next he's crying and telling you to move on, then he says he loves you. I recomend ... (read in full...)
I have no self esteem and I feel down on my life. Help me sort myself out!
Q. I have no focus in my life I want to be successful bt just cant visualise it. My self esteem is low I feel i cnt do things etc. I feel like crap n that I have no1 to talk to or no one who would understand me. All of these issues have been caused...
A. 23 July 2008: Fist off, if your mum is capable enough, she can pretty much look after herself. You shouldnt worry so much about her. At 22-25 years old, she is most certainly not your responsibility (unless she is, for want of a better term, 'mentally ... (read in full...)
I made out with another boy and I swear I can't tell my boyfriend. I feel terrible!
Q. hi, well im 14 and i have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months. i went to a party and i got really drunk. we made out on the beach. this other guy means nothing to me, at all. we both agreed that we shouldn't tell anyone. it will never ...
A. 23 July 2008: If your bf is the kind of guy who you think will flip out at this sort of thing, it's probably a good idea to keep it to yourself.
Whilst it is morally right to tell him about this, it could jepordise or even end your relationship. If it's cons... (read in full...)
My boyfriend started working out and now he gets lots of female attention. It's bugging me!
Q. My boyfriend is currently working out to improve his health and also the looks. He's a big build guy (typical Scottish guy), blond hair and blue eyes. I know he's faithful to me and will not go out with any other girls. Since he started working out, ...
A. 23 July 2008: If he started working out to improve his health, that's great. If you both knew it would improve his looks, then this was bound to happen.
Why dont you get him to take you out to these places? Maybe you should ask to meet his female trainer: then... (read in full...)
Help wanted: extra agony aunts/uncles required
Q. I've been a member of this site for a while now, and from what I've seen here, I can conclude almost every agony aunt/uncle here is a good person: someone who likes to help out, to dish out wisdom by the barrel. I have thoroughly enjoyed adding to ...
A. 23 July 2008: I accept that it may not be possible to answer all questions, but the purpose of this article was to point out that, whilst most answeres are good, just one or two may not be enough to satisfy the questioner: more than one opinion is very important ... (read in full...)
Help wanted: extra agony aunts/uncles required
Q. I've been a member of this site for a while now, and from what I've seen here, I can conclude almost every agony aunt/uncle here is a good person: someone who likes to help out, to dish out wisdom by the barrel. I have thoroughly enjoyed adding to ...
A. 17 July 2008: My views exactly... (read in full...)
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