I'm not ready for a child, but I don't want to regret my decision.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles I need some advice. I am 20 years old and just found out I'm pregnant and would really appreciate advice hopefully from people who have had or know of similiar experinces. I have a job that pays very well I make over $1100...
A. 2 May 2011: Hey there
I can't tell you what a mix of emotions I feel now - so incredibly sorry that you didn't read my post before, but also so glad that although it is too late for what was your situation now, that what I said made sense and you heard it... (read in full...)
She told me God was telling her things wouldn't work out!!!
Q. My girlfriend n I have been going out for about 4 months now. Everything was going great, we both were happy n life couldn’t have been much better. About 2 weeks ago she told me "she thinks she loves me" n that "I am perfect for her." She was crazy ...
A. 18 April 2011: Ok: first things first: if she is not being hormonally controlled (ie, not on the pill/injection/whatever), then what she says this week will be slightly different than what she says next week, really quite different than what she says the week ... (read in full...)
Isolated in a foreign country -- is my love for my husband enough?
Q. Hi, please advise. I moved to a difficult foreign country to be with my husband, sacrificing all my family, friends and life that I knew (even my religion) because I loved him, believing in my innocence that love conquers all. Because of the ...
A. 17 April 2011: Well, I think this:
- You should recognise the love you have with your husband as an amazing thing - you are very very lucky to be in such a good relationship - so many people don't ever manage to find or achieve this - so do try to apprecia... (read in full...)
I'd like him to take the initiative to plan an outing for us
Q. My husband never invites me out on the weekends. I love to go out and have fun. I have expressed to him that we need to keep the relationship alive by dating at least once weekly or once every two weeks. I would feel so special if he would invite ...
A. 17 April 2011: I'm afraid it sounds like the sort of uncommunicative groove that a certain type of man gets into. I think this is a definite syndrome, and it is a male tendency to like peace and quiet in his home and just be able to exist, without any ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend of 8 years told me last week that she hasn't got the same feelings anymore. My life has come crashing down!!
Q. Please my girlfriend of 8 years last week told me she hasn't got the same feelings anymore. I always thought we were great together as does others Iam devastated sick everything you could think of we are both from different countries so I've ...
A. 16 April 2011: Yep, sorry to say, but it sounds like she has finally done what she wanted to do, and now feels good for having done so. : (
And you are left as you are, in shock, not knowing what happened. I am so sorry. Unfortunately it seems like that just happ... (read in full...)
I'm beginning to hate her, why does she do this?
Q. I know its very long but if you could please read and give me your opinions I would be most grateful!!! Ok so my mum...ever since I was little shes never really loved me like she should. She bought me plenty stuff and spoiled me rotten but this ...
A. 14 April 2011: Oh, you poor, poor girl. This really is awful. This is not normal. I am so glad you are seeing a therapist, because what your mother is doing to you is pretty much torture and abuse. I'm afraid I think your mother has a personality disorder, really. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend of 8 years told me last week that she hasn't got the same feelings anymore. My life has come crashing down!!
Q. Please my girlfriend of 8 years last week told me she hasn't got the same feelings anymore. I always thought we were great together as does others Iam devastated sick everything you could think of we are both from different countries so I've ...
A. 14 April 2011: I am so sorry. This is really hard for you, but you have to believe you will get through it, because you will.
I know this kind of thing happens, because actually twice a very close relative of mine has fallen out with her partner/... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me not to be happy that my married lover had a baby with his wife?
Q. My lover just had another baby with his wife. I am very sad and disappointed about this. Is this normal? I love the guy so much and he loves me too. We have been together for two years and has been married for three years. I have always respected ...
A. 13 April 2011: This is very upsetting for you, and totally naturally so. But, it is also a clear sign to you that you are not in a good situation. You probably feel a mixture of hurt, betrayal, jealousy, guilt (at feeling like that towards the wife/child, who have ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for a child, but I don't want to regret my decision.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles I need some advice. I am 20 years old and just found out I'm pregnant and would really appreciate advice hopefully from people who have had or know of similiar experinces. I have a job that pays very well I make over $1100...
A. 13 April 2011: OMG - I can't believe that someone actually directed you towards Marie Stopes - which is just a money-making abortion racket!!!!!!!!!
Listen: there is enough doubt in what you say, and more than enough hopefulness in your situation, that I think ... (read in full...)
Pregnant, in the military, and the daddy opts for adoption
Q. So heres rhe deal...im in the military' 20yrs old and find myself pregnant.my boyfriend if u can call him that pcs'd to the other side of the country and weve been having problems here and there but now that ive decided to keep my child he insists ...
A. 13 April 2011: Yes. Thank him for his input, but explain that although he might be able to give up his child, you can't, and that isn't going to happen. Explain that you have your family's support, and that 20, although not old, isn't that young - it's not as if ... (read in full...)
Could anyone with therapy experience share their story?
Q. Hello everyone! I would like to ask for some advice about therapy, particularly from those who have personal experiences and from those who have a loved one experiencing it. I hope to seek professional advice in the next coming weeks to deal wi...
A. 13 April 2011: A quick answer as have no time now, but may reply longer later - I had therapy for severe anxiety after termination followed by next child with traumatic delivery plus death of my father, and it was helpful - yes, cognitive therapy really is ... (read in full...)
How do I disappear with my little one so he can't find us?
Q. hi everyone i need some help and some of you might think i'm a cow. but here it goes i have a 3 week old baby that the dad only saw 3 times since her birth. to me i think he is a dick he can't see her beacuse its messing with his new relationship...
A. 11 April 2011: I understand how you feel. Your daughter is your most precious little one, and he has been 'relaxed' to say the least about his responsibilities towards her. Add to that, he can be abusive. I know why you think she would be better off without him ... (read in full...)
Son is dating an older woman with children. How can I make him come to his senses?
Q. Hi all, I've been pretty confused about something lately and just can't seem to get my mind off of it. I'm really having a hard time figuring out why my son who is 22 y/o is dating this older woman who's 33 and has 2 kids (twins). I feel like he's ...
A. 11 April 2011: Hi there
OK ... I think you need to stand back and think very carefully about what you want for your son. I guess you want him to be happy, loved, fulfilled, with his own family, and with children at some point. It sounds like he is in a loving r... (read in full...)
Should I Tell Him That I'm Pregnant With His Baby?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm sorry to bother you all but I've got myself into a difficult situation. I'm 17 (18 in 2 months) and I just found out that I'm 29 weeks pregnant. I was really experiencing any symptoms which is why I never found out earlier. The ...
A. 9 April 2011: I also think you should tell him.
Do it discreetly, and kindly, and fairly, and in a decent way. Explain as you have here - that you don't want to ruin his happiness, but you felt he should know, and that the baby should know his/her father. ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my best friend's wife. I need advice.
Q. so here's the situation probably asked here a thousand times but mine is with different details. i have this close friend for more than ten years, we live and work aboard. two years ago he met this girl online and they fell in love and being his ...
A. 9 April 2011: You absolutely will lose your friend if you say anything of this at all.
As you don't want to lose him, you must squash your feelings, keep away from them deliberately, be cool towards the wife, and find someone or something else to focus on. This... (read in full...)
I want fun sex with multiple guys and girls, with no attachments and no one getting hurt. Where's the harm in that? Are my friends right to tell me not to do it?
Q. Hi there, I've got a problem and it looks like this. I am bisexual, I am young and I need my freedom. I've gotten out of a long pretty sexless monogamous relationship and I am not ready to involve myself in some "serious" stuff again. I just...
A. 3 April 2011: I think some people probably can do this - and think of porn stars - they have fun - and do a lot of stuff. And then go home to their spouses (or so one hears).
You might be one of the less common women who can sleep with lots of people and not ... (read in full...)
BF never pays for anything. Do we have a future together?
Q. I've been with my bf for almost 2 years now and everytime we go somewhere that requires money he never shouts me. We either pay separately or i pay. Im not a gold digger, i appreciate anything that comes my way bt 2 years and i still pay for most ...
A. 3 April 2011: You tell him that if he doesn't step up, he is out. No, everyone is quite right: you don't want one of those guys who always has an excuse why he couldn't quite even get to the petrol station to buy you a bunch of crappy flowers on your birthday ... ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my parents I can hear them having sex?
Q. I still live at home and my parents are in their 60's. I keep hearing them having sex and it's getting quite annoying and loud. Do you think I should say anything to them?...
A. 2 April 2011: It isn't great to hear, I guess, but everyone is right that it is their home and also yes, a good thing that they have such a close relationship. So, don't say anything, be pleased for them, and watch films with headphones on if you need to block ... (read in full...)
He's horrible towards me but great with the kids, what should I do?
Q. Help!!! how do i get over the pain!??!!!!! my story is full on...well to me anyway. I have been broken up with my daughters dad for two years now and it would have to be the most horrible experience I have ever had....I had post natal severely....I ...
A. 1 April 2011: Don't go anywhere near him. He is not great with your child, because he is horrible to her mother. And he allowed her to be put into care for 10 months!!! That is not a great dad!!!!!!!!! Stay away from him - it is the one and only thing you c... (read in full...)
What are the chances that the baby is not my boyfriend's?
Q. Please don't judge me for this I feel awful as it is - I am currently almost eight months pregnant. I am due on may 10th and my last period began on august the fifth. I have a steady boyfriend who I am sorry to say I cheated on once on the evening ...
A. 31 March 2011: Pretty unlikely, but possible. If your period started on 5th, I guess it finished around 9th. You could have ovulated early, even in response to sex on 11th, and although you say he didn't ejaculate in you, some sperm could have got into you if he ... (read in full...)
I don't think I want to go to college anymore, I think I want a baby
Q. I'm 20 years old and in my second year of college. My dream career is to become a veterinarian but ever since I started college, I've been questioning what I want to be when I graduate. And because of this, I don't feel like I want to continue ...
A. 26 March 2011: Just one question: do you have a partner? It sounds like you are on your own - so how would you have a baby, anyhow?... (read in full...)
My problem is his pregnant partner. Is there a chance he will just love me and leave me?
Q. Am girl who is 21 years of age,there is this guy I just met and I love him and I do want to have sex with him, but my problem is his pregnant partner. What if he loves her more than he loves me? What if he just want to have sexual relations with me ...
A. 25 March 2011: Just go away from this guy. He is not for you. Trust me. (And he is also not supposed to be having sex with someone else - he has a woman, and he got her pregnant, and they are expecting a baby - really - this is a moment for you to tell yourself to ... (read in full...)
How can I stop getting distracted by hot women?
Q. As a single guy how can I stop wanting to date every hot girl I meet?! Its distracting, seriously. Not to mention the ones whose numbers I get we become friends and all the while in my head I'm thinking about how gorgeous they are and how I wanna ...
A. 23 March 2011: Get one woman and spend a lot of time in bed with her. Simple. Focus your energies.... (read in full...)
She's moody, I want her to dump me. Love's faded. What can I do?
Q. So heres my story: Ive been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years now, im 20 now and she is 10 months older, and have been with her since i was around 16, shes my first serious relationship. And shes the only girl ive ever slept with. We met ...
A. 19 March 2011: Wow. That is a lot to get out. It is basically a pretty accurate and typical overview of a relationship that doesn't work - mainly because your girlfriend in this case is incredibly demanding and difficult. People often write about men being ... (read in full...)
Does Love Begat Love?
Q. Just a philosophical question for folks... Can you MAKE someone love you by loving them first??? Cliff Notes version of the background story: I am/was married. (we have separated) I met a man and started a relationship with him in J...
A. 16 March 2011: No, you can't. Eg, if you love someone and they don't love you, no matter how much you love them, you can't make them love you. Maybe, they come to love you - but they would have to be open to the prospect in the first place.
... (read in full...)
Do you think he will want biological children in the future?
Q. My boyfriend and I, both 24, were talking about kids yesterday and he said that he wanted to adopt 3 kids. And he wanted one to be named after him. And I asked him if he wanted to name his biological child after him. He said his mom tells him that ...
A. 15 March 2011: This is upsetting to hear. I am really sorry for you - because he sounds mixed up, and really it is a blessing to have children, and he shouldn't be full of this nonsense about bad genes, adopting, etc. It is very artificial to think it better to ... (read in full...)
Should I let him go, so he can be with someone closer to his age?
Q. I'm a mature beautiful woman. I've met a man 14 years younger than me. We have been together for almost 2 years. I have had many relationships. He has not. He is the first man that I feel is my match, my love. He knows I would do anything for him. ...
A. 15 March 2011: It's easy to see why you are with him - I understand. But why is he with you? I don't mean that to sound bad - please don't take it so - but you have explained your attraction to him - what does he see in it for him (and what do you?)?
I don't th... (read in full...)
My wife is pregnant and our sex life has stopped. Is this normal?
Q. Me and my wife had a great sex life but shes pregnant one and half months from now. We both missings our days but we're afraid of losing pregnancy. What should we do?...
A. 14 March 2011: It is actually healthier to have sex regularly when pregnant. if you don't have sex at all, she will have a much more difficult labour, as well. Sex in pregnancy is one of the best things about pregnancy. Don't be scared. It is fine. Totally ... (read in full...)
22 year old virgin who thinks she can do better...advice?
Q. SO im a 22 year old female virgin. and i also never had a boyfriend. lame i know. anywayz there is one guy that is interested in me but i feel like i can do better than him. messed up right? hes nice when hes sober, but when hes drunk hes annoying, ...
A. 27 February 2011: Obviously listen to your gut feeling and wait for someone who is a pure as you. He sounds pretty awful. Don't go anywhere near him (or, rather, don't let him anywhere near you). You will only bond with him and then regret it and then it will be real ... (read in full...)
How the hell are people able to break up and not get devastated??
Q. OK so it has been a week since this girl I was in a relationship and I stopped speaking. I initiated it because she was lying and hurting me and we talked about it for weeks before and I know it was the best thing. BUT...it is killing me!!! It...
A. 22 February 2011: Yes, your heart dies a bit - only a bit if you are way beyond being ready to break up, but a helluva lot if there was still anything alive in your relationship.
Think of it like getting rid of ... hmm ... for example, a scab. If it really is read... (read in full...)
Should I tell my 9-year-old daughter that my wife and I are separating?
Q. My wife and I are going through a separation after 26 years together. We have a 9-years-old daughter. Should we tell her the truth now? I have been transferred to another town for work for more than a year and during this time I went home to see my ...
A. 22 February 2011: You poor man. This is not OK, and it is not OK for your daughter to be under the control of her mother (and grandmother) only. She has a right to see her father, and her father has a right not to be abused in this way.
You say that your wife is ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my 9-year-old daughter that my wife and I are separating?
Q. My wife and I are going through a separation after 26 years together. We have a 9-years-old daughter. Should we tell her the truth now? I have been transferred to another town for work for more than a year and during this time I went home to see my ...
A. 20 February 2011: Personally I agree that you shouldn't put everything on yr daughter at once. I would tell her later, as well. Or even why make a big thing of telling her?? Just let your lift continue as it does, and your visiting as it does. Don't even discuss ... (read in full...)
Can one person fall in love with two people?
Q. Is it possible to be in love with two people?...
A. 12 February 2011: Yes. Go read or watch the film of Thomas Hardy's 'Far from the Madding Crowd'. Totally possible.... (read in full...)
We started exploring kinks and now I'm feeling that things are out of hand
Q. So me and my girlfriend are fairly kinky and I know she likes BDSM (since a friend took her to an event last year) so I asked her if she'd like to go to a rope workshop in a couple of weeks.. This tipped over a few more dominoes than expected, s...
A. 10 February 2011: Oh dear. Difficult one. You have opened the door to another world, and unfortunately you didn't (a) expect your girl to run happily off into the fray and (b) for it to be quite such a weird world.
I think it's pretty clear how she is feeling.... (read in full...)
Do I end things with my husband? My son is starting to show the damage
Q. Hi I have bogged before my Husband I have been together nearly three years. At the start he cheated on me was tight with money would not bother with my children as he dis not see his. My 9 year old Son saw me cry whilst pregnant and worried terribly ...
A. 30 January 2011: Ok, thanks for that : )
Right. This is a horrible situation, and difficult, and very upsetting for you. I don't want to make you feel any worse than you already do here - I just want you to know I know how you are feeling, and how stressfu... (read in full...)
My wife's male friend told her he loved her and she ask me what to do!
Q. My wife of 8 years with two kids asked me what she should do about her male friend who told her he love her. He said he knows she is married and she can't help him, but he can't stop thinking about her. He loves to talk the whole day with her. ...
A. 30 January 2011: Well, first of all, it is great that she is telling you about this. She obviously very much loves and trusts you, and doesn't find this guy's declaration even remotely threatening to her relationship, or tempting in any way - she just doesn't know ... (read in full...)
Night of drinking and harsh words have really strained my relationship with friends. What should I do?
Q. Want to try and keep this as short as I can, so will gloss over some of the details. A few months ago my boyfriend came out for drinks for a friend's engagement and at the end of the evening he was chatting to one of her friends and she said som...
A. 30 January 2011: I think that sometimes things happen - people say/do things - especially people who aren't that close, but may be close to someone close to you (eg, your best friend - this girl was a friend of hers) ... and it is so bad that you do have to make a ... (read in full...)
Do I end things with my husband? My son is starting to show the damage
Q. Hi I have bogged before my Husband I have been together nearly three years. At the start he cheated on me was tight with money would not bother with my children as he dis not see his. My 9 year old Son saw me cry whilst pregnant and worried terribly ...
A. 30 January 2011: Hi there
Sorry - just so can give a proper answer: can you just confirm -
Do you live in a house with your husband?
What children live with you all the time?
Do you have children from a previous relationship? If so, do these children live ... (read in full...)
Time of the month she turns into someone else.
Q. Hey everybody, Really need your help so here goes. Thanks in advance. I've been dating this girl for a couple of months now and everything was going well up until a week ago. It's the time of the month and I don't want to sound like just a ...
A. 29 January 2011: Ok ... well, I don't blame you for feeling upset about this. Don't worry - no women should be offended - you are just pointing out the truth. ALL women go through different moods at different times of the month - not just when it is that time of the ... (read in full...)
Have I ruined my chances with this man? What should I say to him now?!
Q. Please, please help me... I can't stop thinking and my mind is going crazy!! Last night, I had a dinner date at my place with a colleague of mine I really really really really like. The evening was smooth and flirty and fun. Then he started making p...
A. 25 January 2011: Don't panic - you did exactly the right thing. You didn't want to have sex with him. It was too early for you. You said so.
He responded well. He took it with grace, kissed goodnight and left you in peace. He probably feels a bit of a jerk for... (read in full...)
Am I a bit weird for not particularly liking kids?
Q. This isn't a relationship question but i would be interested to hear what people think. Ever since i was about 13 (i'm now 23) i realised i wasn't the maternal type. People would show off their kids and these women would go all ga ga over them and...
A. 13 January 2011: No, you aren't - you just haven't, I guess, been brought up in the sort of culture where there are lots of babies/children around and you get to see how amazing they are. (They are actually MUCH nicer/cooler/generally better to be around than adults ... (read in full...)
Re all women this hard to read?
Q. I know that women have since the beginning of time been hard for men to understand but I keep having a relationship with this girl who baffles me. I wanted to ask you, Wise Agony Aunts, if this is "normal" female behavior or whether it is unusual. ...
A. 13 January 2011: Her behaviour is totally normal from a woman who is using you for emotional and financial support, and general attention. I don't know what your relationship is, that you should be/should have been lending her money and paying for things, but I ... (read in full...)
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