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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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He called me a cheap slut etc. etc. Yet I still went back to him!
Q. Hi all, my question is how do i get over my anger towards my ex and regain my shattered confidence. He was separated when we hooked up 6 yrs ago, but assured me that his marriage was over. I was 21 he was 35 and they have one child. Anyway...
A. 16 July 2008: Good for you, keep that in mind.
I would however suggest you get counseling for all that has happened in your past.
Don't think you have to sort this out on your own. You were a victim of multiple rapes and 5 years of emotional abuse just as da... (read in full...)
He called me a cheap slut etc. etc. Yet I still went back to him!
Q. Hi all, my question is how do i get over my anger towards my ex and regain my shattered confidence. He was separated when we hooked up 6 yrs ago, but assured me that his marriage was over. I was 21 he was 35 and they have one child. Anyway...
A. 15 July 2008: A recurring question on this site is by self-proclaimed 'nice guys' who wonder why women always go for the bad boys and only seem to respond when you treat them badly.
Common response is that this is just not true, that women go for decent g... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend's sexual history normal?
Q. Hi everyone, hoping someone could help me out a little here. This may seem odd, but I’m too shy to bring this up to any of my friends, for fear of sounding strange. I was never a guy who dated too much, and tended to keep to myself most of the t...
A. 14 July 2008: No such thing as normal anymore, some people have lots of sexual exprience, others do not.
The fact that you two have different amounts in your past just goes to show. ... (read in full...)
Want to find out how you would act in a relationship, take this test.
Q. After reading all these articles I decided to throw this in there too! I was given this test by a "relationship theropist" LOL yes that title does exist! However it was interesting to see just which one you pick....... Read the question, don't ...
A. 14 July 2008: What a silly question.
Tiger: Suicidal, you are on a boat with a superior predator that can outswim you.
Sheep: Optimist, you hope that sheering, spinning wool and knitting are easy to pick up with no reference books.
Horse: Fat, you like ... (read in full...)
What are the signs that he doesn't love you anymore?
Q. Hi there I've been married for about 7 years now and I know from what I've read from posts in the pasts and on other websites that some relationships reach a cool down point at this stage. But what are the actual signs that your husband d...
A. 14 July 2008: The 7 year itch?
Are there stresses in your life? How is he responding to the kids? Was there something that happened that might seem trivial to you when his attitude changed?
As you might know, most men can easily seperate sex from love. If he... (read in full...)
Is my sex drive too high for a girl my age, as my boyfriend says?
Q. I asked a question about my boyfriend's sex drive, but now I have a question about my own. My boyfriend (We'll call him Matthew) tells me that my sex drive is too high for a girl of my age. I'm eighteen and I find myself in the mood upward o...
A. 14 July 2008: Does it become a problem with you leading a "normal" productive life?
It sounds like it might. There are only so many hours in a day and 4-6 times having sex sounds like it might get in the way of all the others things you have to do.
If you ... (read in full...)
What is phone sex, exactly?
Q. I feel very stupid asking this but I really wanna know. What is phone sex? I know you deffinately can't have sex over the phone, I'm not that stupid. But a lot of my friends are just saying it and I'm sooo confused.Can anyone help? Thanks3 Re...
A. 14 July 2008: It is when a woman puts her phone on vibrate and hopes it is waterproof. ;)... (read in full...)
I've known him since kindergarten, could he like me?
Q. Okidays, i know its wierd but i've liked this guy sense kindergarden. Okidays I've always had the feeling he likes me back but never really sure.The other day i saw him in the first time in like 4 or 5 years. And We both admited to being shy ...
A. 14 July 2008: Standard mating ritual, offer the female choice pieces of food to prove he is a good provider for her and any off spring.
Why do you think we give women chocolates?
Yes, he probably likes you but might be confused because you are also a frien... (read in full...)
Are there ANY relationships that work out?
Q. I stumbled across this site looking for some advice...and came out quite discouraged =[ Does anyone know of a functional relationship? Of a healthy marriage in which mistakes are made but forgiveness is extended and the love is still strong? D...
A. 14 July 2008: Sure, they just don't get much attention since happy marriages don't need fixing.
You might just as easily think that the entire world is dying if you stay at an emergency room all the time, or that the city is burning to a cinder if you only lis... (read in full...)
My boyfriend insists on fisting me and having rough sex even though I have had many operations 'down below' and it causes me so much pain
Q. so i think i need some advice cause i am not sure what to do. my fiance and i have been together for a year and a half. we are deeply in love and he does everything under the sun for me. i couldnt ask for a better man. but we have a few sex issues. ...
A. 14 July 2008: I think that your bf is an asshole who only cares for his own feelings and sees you as a sextoy. At your age, ignorance is no longer an excuse.
Fisting is enjoyed by some women but it takes a lot of practice and must be done very gently, same wit... (read in full...)
What sex positions are most popular, and also unpopular, with women?
Q. what posistions do women love and hate?...
A. 14 July 2008: Oh dear, you want the magic list don't you.
The things to do and not to do in a handy numbered list so you can go down it and do it right.
Don't work like that. It not only varies from woman to woman, it varies with her mood. In fact, doing t... (read in full...)
Do you think most women are truthful to their partners about previous sexual partners?
Q. what percent of women tell their current boyfriend or husband the truth about how many sex partners they had before them...
A. 14 July 2008: Odd question since you would first need to know what percentage would tell the truth to such a question.
And since when was wether you are honest based on a majority vote? Would it be okay to lie if everyone else does it?... (read in full...)
Can you get an STD if you are both virgins?
Q. ok so i have some questions bout STDs. i'm not planning to have sex or nothing. i've never even had a boyfriend before, but we just did our very brief unit in health on sex and well: 1) so is it likely to contract an STD if both u and ur pa...
A. 14 July 2008: Oh dear.
BODILY FLUID. What does that mean? It means fluids from your body. This includes blood, semen but also SALIVA!
So yes, oral sex does have a risk of transmitting an STD. In fact, far MORE so then sex itself because your mouth will be co... (read in full...)
Intelligence is something I highly prize in a partner but he's not the brightest crayon in the box!
Q. So, I'm between a rock and a hard place. Not to blow my own horn, but I'm one of those annoying smart people; I consider myself well read, knowledgeable, and (I'll admit it) I'm a pain in the ass when it comes to debating. I thrive on informat...
A. 13 July 2008: You want Mr Perfect? Sure, why not. If you are Mrs Perfect.
Granted, it all depends on how far removed from your ideal he is. Dumb as shit or perhaps just not as intelligent as you?
After all, if you feel you can never talk to him then life m... (read in full...)
Am I destined to spend the rest of my life alone?
Q. Am I destined to spend the rest of my life alone. I have been burnt far too many times by the flames of love!! I've been used, lied to, cheated on, abused and left to pick up all the pieces by myself! I have absolutely no trust in the op...
A. 13 July 2008: Well he treats me (unlike other girls he crosses) with all the respect possible he makes me feel safe looks after me when i'm a bit worse for wear instead of taking advantage.
Sign of dating a loser: He treats OTHERS like crap.
... (read in full...)
I started to watch porn on the internet. I haven't been caught yet but I'm afraid I will.
Q. I am 13 and have recently began to have sexual feelings...i started to watch porn on the internet. I haven't been caught yet but i am afraid i will... How can i relive my sexual urge without being caught doing something embarrassing? I have tri...
A. 13 July 2008: For the porn:
http://portablefirefox.mozdev.org/
Get something like this and put it on a USB stick, that means there will be few traces on the PC to reflect what you are doing. If you know how, encrypt it or get a stick with encryption build... (read in full...)
Cheap boyfriend who won't share - should I just move on to someone who doesn't put money first?
Q. I am 46 and broke, my previous husband took me to the cleaners, I became homeless and had to live with another family for 6 months until I got on my feet. I have now managed to do this and have met a man who is wealthy. He won't pay for meals when ...
A. 13 July 2008: I had expected a different story.
Call me old-fashioned but who does the inviting does the paying especially if sex or future sex is involved.
Going dutch happens only with friends and even then NOT if one is significantly better off then ... (read in full...)
He's made up his mind and his heart, and broken up with me. How am I supposed to deal with it?
Q. My ex broke up with me today. He had given up some friends, because those guys were friends with an ex friend with benefits of mine. This thing about my ex friend with benefits has been Hell for us. He got very jealous and upset when he found ou...
A. 13 July 2008: We all got different images of how we expect our partner to be, not just in the present or future but also how they behaved in the past.
Would you be comfortable with for instance dating a gigolo or a nazi-supporter even if this was in the past... (read in full...)
Unexpected pregnancy when I only know him for 6 weeks, he'd respect my decision but I can tell he would prefer abortion, help?!
Q. I have been dating a really great guy for 6 weeks. We are both in our 30's and divorced and we are both making decent money. He has a child and I have children. We have had a wonderful time together and are very compatible so far. My youngest ...
A. 13 July 2008: Well, you already got kids and are raising them on your own, would another one be that much of a problem?
If you don't want an abortion then don't. You know what a baby means so you know what you are in for.
Will he stick around? Does it ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to tell a man I hardly know that I love him? Isn't life about taking the bull by the horns?
Q. Is it so wrong for me to tell a man that I hardly know very well that I love him yes I do love him and I cant help it. Life is too short and my friend says take the bull by the horns and let him know then its up to him if he acts on it or not or if ...
A. 13 July 2008: If you hardly know him how do you know you love him?
Get to know him first, become friends, at least make sure he knows your name, is hetero and not married before you confess. Random strangers coming to you confessing their love might be romancti... (read in full...)
What can I do about the degrading comments I get about my boobs?
Q. Im 15 and have 34D boobs. I do like them (i consider them my best physical feature) but my problem is that i feel sometimes really degraded by the comments i get from boys about them. i dont wear low-cut tops to attract attention to them or anything ...
A. 13 July 2008: Very little, you can't change the entire world.
The most you can do is learn to accept that this is just the way things are, let it be water of a ducks back.
I could say that they are being immature but that might get you to think men grow o... (read in full...)
What is the difference between a democrate and a republican?
Q. What am I a Democrat or a Republican and what is the diffrence anyways? I always thought Republicans for rich people and Democratic for the working class. But people tell me i'm wrong. Some say i'm conservitive and some say I'm liberal. When people ...
A. 13 July 2008: As a european, the choice between democrat and republican is the choice between extreme right and extremist right.
Even right wing parties in holland consider the americans extreme right.
You got to remember that the US has a very odd two par... (read in full...)
Would he love me more if I was in a porn film?
Q. If your boyfriend watches Internet porn should you film an internet porn film of yourself? My boyfriend watches porn, even though he thinks I don't know it. He goes on the internet, and he consistently lies about going on the porn sites, even thou...
A. 13 July 2008: Sex is more then just the old missionary. How much more, well that depends on what you are comfortable with. Lots of couples have different fantasies and most just work out a compromise with what they are willing to do. You are allowed fantasies as ... (read in full...)
I was so mad I slapped her across the face!
Q. My brother died couple of weeks ago because he had canner. I even missied a week of school because of it. When I told my best friend say I'm "obsessed" with him and need to forget about him. I was so mad I slapped her across the face1!! Why would ...
A. 13 July 2008: At your age dealing with the loss of a person is very hard but it is equally hard to deal with a friend who has experienced a loss.
She might just not know any better. Lets face it, it was not her brother and it ain't her loss. All she sees is ... (read in full...)
He cheated, told his girlfriend to get lost, she harrassed me, he got depressed, doesn't want sex, I am at my wits end, any suggestions for a remedy?
Q. Thanks to anyone that can offer some advice on this: I'm 29 and have been married for nearly a year. My husband cheated on me 18 months ago. (He kissed a girl 3 times and spent time with her). I found out and he confessed all. We had to move ove...
A. 13 July 2008: I suggest counseling for the both of you.
There seems to be a whole lot going on and I doubt everything has been told in this story.
You seem to have made a couple of classic mistakes.
First, ALWAYS find out about your partners ex-relatio... (read in full...)
What is a safe time frame, to have sex without a condom, after your period?
Q. Is doing sex after 21 days of periods safe without condom? ...
A. 13 July 2008: Sperm can stay alive inside of you for up to a week.
There is NO safe period and STD's can happen every single time ESPECIALLY when you are bleeding.
What you are suggesting is called the rythm method and it is extremely unreliable. It i... (read in full...)
His girlfriend doesn't treat him right. Do you think I have a chance with him?
Q. I am a curious about this man i have been talking too, he is finalizing his divorce, and he has three kids, and he lives with his girlfriend whom does not treat him right, he caters to her and she just doesn't treat him right, with us talking and ...
A. 13 July 2008: Okay, so you are after a man old enough to be your father, who is already deserting one wife and three kids, is living with another woman before the divorce has even been settled and you want him to cheat on her too which he has agreed to do.
... (read in full...)
How can I tell when my boyfriend has an orgasm?
Q. I have never been able to tell when my boyfriend is having an orgasm during intercourse. The first guy I slept with I could only tell because it burned when he ejaculated and it turned out I was allergic to a protein in his semen. With my current ...
A. 13 July 2008: Apart from the fact that the semen leaks out of you afterwards?
That is, if there is any semen, for all sorts of reasons the amount produced varies as does the thickness, and if it light and thin it might get mixed up with your own fluids. ... (read in full...)
I think I am very stupid and have low confidence for sticking around him, as he is very nasty, drinks, blames me for everything... but I can't leave him!
Q. I'm not sure where to start. I was friends with my boyfriend for years and this year we started going out. He was always so nice to me but recently his alcoholism has come back and he has started being very nasty and got us both arrested because he ...
A. 12 July 2008: "But he was a good friend. One who I hold dear. He saw me go through a lot."
Right... Why am I reminded of a Law&Order episode in which a nazi camp doctor has been found and a victim gives evidence describing him as a saint for bringing her back... (read in full...)
How can I make myself become more independent and dismiss these fears?
Q. How can I make myself become more independent? I am a female. And I realise that I have less passion for the learning and work than the men . I think about a boyfriend ,and a family ,even a baby even that I want to be a housewife. However ,I a...
A. 12 July 2008: Dear agony aunts, NOTE THE DAMNED FLAG.
This woman is from China and that means she comes from a far more traditional background.
I don't know the area myself by do know that, at least a decade ago, in Japan a woman was considered an ol... (read in full...)
He asked me if I'd have sex without a condom and I would, but what are the risks of pregnancy?
Q. i am ready to have sex with this boy but he has asked if a would do it without a condom, i don't think i would but whats the chances of getting pregnant first time without a condom? and am a virgin just now btw...
A. 12 July 2008: Frankly if you know so little about sex, you ain't ready for it.
You get pregnant when a sperm reaches an egg. Semen contains millions of sperms and you entire body is designed to help it on its way to the egg. So if you are ovulating and a sperm ... (read in full...)
My gf found porn on my computer. Is she over reacting?
Q. Hi there, I could do with some advice on my girlfriend’s reaction to finding porn on my computer! I know it's understandable my girlfriend of 4 mths should not be happy with this, but she was completely devastated when she found out as if I had ...
A. 12 July 2008: How would you react if it was the other way around, if you found her masturbating and fantasizing about other men. Men with better bodies then yours, there are plenty out there after all.
How does that make you feel if when she is with you she ... (read in full...)
He looks at incest porn! What does it mean?
Q. I have recently discovered that my boyfriend of three years has been looking up incest porn, specifically the mother/son type. Needless to say I was quite freaked out by this and have confronted him about it. He said that it isn't what turns hi...
A. 12 July 2008: If you google the word incest the first link is as so often wikipedia. You will then have to scroll down to find the first "serious" reference, the rest is for the fantasy type.
So he has a fantasy about incest, doesn't mean he wants to have sex... (read in full...)
Views on condoms - sex more pleasurable without?
Q. I now feel ready for full sex-my boyfriend is too. We've talked about contraception and condoms.Some of my friends saythere's no difference in the pleasurable sensations for a woman whether a man wears one or not.Others say the feeling is much bet...
A. 12 July 2008: Are you absolutely 100% certain that he is clean AND will continue to remain clean. If you are 1% wrong you could become sterile or even DIE.
Are you absolutely 100% certain that you are safe from pregnancy, if you are 1% wrong you could end up a... (read in full...)
When I call long distance she prefers to finishing watching TV. Disrespectful?
Q. Hello I am in the UK and my G\F is in NZ and I'm applying to move there. When I call long distance, sometimes she says she is watching one of her favourite shows and can I call back. I am pretty chilled so do not mind, but is this bordering on dis...
A. 12 July 2008: Give her a DVR?
Some people take their tv serious and nothing is more annoying then being called when you are doing something else. God knows I hate the phone, not because of TV but if I am busy it always interrupts.
Should she stop watching be... (read in full...)
He wants a brother, sister relationship, I want to date him, I think I'm in love, what can I do to change his mind?
Q. Okay, here's my story...perhaps you can help. I have fallen in love with this one guy (we'll call him John). John is a great friend of mine and we hang out often. He is really popular, a great guy, but a huge flirt. However, he seems to flirt with ...
A. 12 July 2008: It depends, is he really behaving like a brother or would the relationship if you were true siblings be on Jerry Springer?
He doesn't flirt with you but you two do spend a lot of time together? It means there are feelings but what kind? Yes, men... (read in full...)
Is there a particular age that a woman, is assumed to be sexually active or not a virgin?
Q. At what age is it assumed a woman is sexually active? For men, is it a turn off to find out a woman is a virgin? Especially, of those men that are of mature age? For women, how old were some of you when you lost your virginity? What sort of pre...
A. 12 July 2008: Read the countless questions about posters who have trouble in a relationship because of the woman having a 'past'. Simple fact, most men do NOT enjoy the idea of a 100 guys having been there before. On the other hand, most men are also mature ... (read in full...)
I only get turned on by prostitutes!
Q. I have always have had sex with prostitutes, but never with a "normal" woman. I just don't get turned on by normal women. only prostitutes turn me on. Is there any thing wrong with this? Am i supposed to have sex with hoes the rest of my life? I ...
A. 11 July 2008: There are normal women out there? Where?
What is it about sex for money that turns you on and what is it about sex without the direct transfer of money that doesn't?
I suppose that it could give you a sense of control, after all hookers don'... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?
Q. can females get pregnant when they have sex for the first time? ...
A. 11 July 2008: Go to your sex education teacher and ask your money back.
Of course you can. All that needs to happen is for a sperm to be present when you are ovulating.... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I'm only attracted to older men?
Q. I'm a 14 year old girl and I'm only attracted to older men... like 35-65. I have never been attracted to anyone my age. Is this normal? If not what's wrong with me? ...
A. 11 July 2008: Lets me take a wild guess here, could be looking for a father figure?
What kind of relationship do you have with your father if there even is one?
There are all sorts of reasons for a girl as young as you to be attracted to old farts, father co... (read in full...)
How do I make my friend see she is not to blame for the loss of her baby and comfort her?
Q. how do i help my bestest friend? my besest friend in the whole wide world told me something today that i did not know i was very shocked! She had this boyfriend who was not english, he was a really cool guy and they got on really well! however...
A. 11 July 2008: Sometimes you can't say anything, only thing you can do is be there for them.
She may need proffesional help to deal with this, the most important thing may be for her to see other women in the same situation so she knows she is not alone.
... (read in full...)
Before our three-way relationship even starts I know I want him to myself. How?
Q. Just to start off I have a deep love for my ex and now we're planning to get back together but there's a catch. You see he doesn't have much trust towards women due to what many have done him wroung including myself. So he's been talkin to someone ...
A. 11 July 2008: Right, because women have cheated on him in the past he now wants a harem...
Capitol idea, hang on while I try this on my GF.
*in a much higher voice*
She didn't go for it, any tips on how I can change her mind?
-----
Are you kiddin... (read in full...)
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