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... Send *vyblue a private message | | | *vyblue's profile:What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.
Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.
My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.
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Should I leave my wife because of her fixation on finding “the big one”?
Q. My wife is totally ignorant to me on occasssion. Thoughtless or worse. She cheated 4 years ago looking for 'the big one' as I caught her when she left FB open. It was a coworker and the brief fling happened after she lost her job. Turns out he w...
A. 18 May 2016: Well thats not an update we needed to read. Yuck !Be a man and leave her for pete sake. Thats how you get back your confidence. She is a nasty piece of work for sure but your new found sexual attitude is just sleazy and gross. Now you sound a bit ... (read in full...)
Met this guy and he has a Gf. What should I do? I am yet to tell me that I'm divorcing my husband.
Q. My husband I have agreed to divorce. We still live together because it's convenient but we treat each other as roommates and I will probably stay at our house for at least next three months. About two months ago I met a guy through mutual friends....
A. 16 May 2016: Wait, if there is any truth to him being unfulfilled in his relationship then what problem does he have with leaving her and moving on to find happiness with you? Too many times are vulnerable people duped into believing these sad and sorry stories ... (read in full...)
My neighbour feels evil, to me. Is it possible that she is or has done something to discourage the sale of our home?
Q. A few years ago, a woman living across the house from us became infatuated with my husband and some very strange things started happening in our lives. She even put something in my drink to make me very sick. We always felt like this woman's aura...
A. 15 May 2016: Have you considered Feng Shui. This could help the flow of bad energy right out the door. There is heaps of stuff on the net targeting specific problems. For you its the sale of your home. Good luck... (read in full...)
The spark has gone. If we do split up then how will that affect our 4 year old daughter?
Q. Since the birth of our daughter, 4 years ago, my partner and I have drifted apart, we still enjoy one another's company and get along but there is no spark between us. Sex and even intimacy is non existent. We both agree that we love each other but ...
A. 15 May 2016: Children are very smart and adaptable little cookies. If and when the time comes i would suggest it be a joint effort in explaining that you are separating and what the new living arrangement will be. A sad situation, but what you have on your side ... (read in full...)
To her it was just a kiss. Should I talk to her about it? The kiss made a big impact on me.
Q. Hung out with a good friend last week, and I ended up with my first kiss which lead to some more kissing as well. Granted, a lot of alcohol was involved, and we both knew something may happen if we spent the night drinking. Nonetheless, we had fun, ...
A. 15 May 2016: You could talk to her about is or you can TALK to her about it.
'talk' as in a light hearted " umm..about that kiss, look Im not going to deny I really enjoyed it, but Im not sure how you feel about it, just don't want things to be awkward betw... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for being jealous of his best female friend?
Q. I have been with this guy for a little over 1 year. We literally fight every day over the same shit. He has a friend thats a girl that he calls sis that he supposedly has known for 20 years, and she has tried to break him and I up and so I told him ...
A. 14 May 2016: "Next time he needs all of her and can he still get her arse" Um...what more do you need to get rid of this wanker, catch them in the act? Let her have him he sounds like a loser. Sorry, but that is pretty much the long and short of it.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man plays with his wedding ring while he talks to you?
Q. Hi Aunties! Just wondering if it means anything if a man slides his wedding ring up and down his finger while he talks to you and twists it? It is so distracting!! ...
A. 14 May 2016: Maybe just anxious, especially if the chit chat is flirty or just habit... (read in full...)
I'm married and had sex with a married man and now he wants nothing to do with me!
Q. Hi i am a married and have 10 childrens with my husband...I had sex with a a married man and then fell in love with him, after that only one day of sex in the park he now ignores me...and acts like i dnt exist im angry and feel like he used me...
A. 13 May 2016: Sex and love, for some, two very different things. Many men and women love their partners but cheat. Who knows what and why he was thinking it, thing is he realises he has done wrong and would prefer you and it go away. Don't be confused about that. ... (read in full...)
Did I miss the red flags on our first dates?
Q. I was wondering if I had missed this red flag? On a first date with a guy he mentioned his ex. He went a little into detail saying he had a 16 year old son and that he had to take his ex to court to get access to him. This I believe was some yea...
A. 13 May 2016: At that age, people have ex baggage and is usually something in common to talk about on a date. Not an interesting choice of topic but not a red flag either IMHO. Having an adult son, my guess he knew that his dad was going on a date and his dad was ... (read in full...)
Is all body hair now a 'no no'!
Q. I am a 16 year old girl, and my problem might seam stupid but it causes me worry and embarrassment. I know my mother and elder sister have no body hair anywhere and I want to be the same but my mother has forbidden me to remove all my body hair ...
A. 13 May 2016: I assume your talking mainly pubic hair? It really is personal choice and IMHO nothing to be worried about. Personally I couldn't be bothered with paying good money for the full monty and rather opt for just a quick and tidy close trim. If you ... (read in full...)
What’s the best response to a break up message?
Q. If you are in a long term, committed relationship with a man, and he decides to break up with you [either because he's found someone else, or has just tired of you, or whatever his reason], in your experience, what is the best way for the woman to ...
A. 12 May 2016: A screaming banshee response just gives them just cause to believe that you are one crazy bitch that deserved leaving. A dignified response of disappointment yet still manage well wished release far better., especially if being left for another ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy? Is something amiss in the way he behaves with his daughter? What should I do?
Q. I recently broke up with a man I'd been seeing on and off for the last five years. I have always been attracted to problematic people, and this guy is no exception - he is bankrupt, alcoholic, cheated on me over and over and over, and admits openly ...
A. 12 May 2016: This is a horrible position you find yourself but If it doesn't seem right then as an adult your job is to report it to the proper authorities. Their job is to investigate and determine how to proceed from there. These people hold the correct ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? Is this girl trying to cause trouble?
Q. Hi my boyfriend and I are both in our 30's. We have been together a few years. There is one particular woman I have been having an issue with for a couple of years. I don't know their relationship, I suspect he cheated on me with her though he ...
A. 11 May 2016: Mischief making little cow, no you are not overreacting at all. He is under reacting. She can and will do what ever she likes- she is not important here and her having total disregard for you and his relationship goes part in parcel of such a slag ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I slept with our friend?
Q. Hello my aunts! Im back again. You guys gave me great advice about how to handle my bad situation with my not so faithfull wife. I followed it and it worked out. The only downside is she kicked me out. which means less time with my babies before I ...
A. 11 May 2016: BOOYAH...so glad you had something good to report lol. As for telling her, nope, no way-Why? I get that you guys are legally still married but IMHO from your last post to this your mind is well and truly made up with no chance of reconciliation so, ... (read in full...)
My Landlord's Children Are Rude To Me - How To Deal With This?
Q. I've been living as a lodger for the past couple of months. I knew the landlord prior to moving in as I rented from him before. It's a good place but two of his kids (who are about 10 I think) are very rude to me and I can continually loud...
A. 11 May 2016: Have to agree, find a place and move out. Pain in the bum but really it is them against you. In the mean time I would learn a few choice words in their spoken tongue and give them an Au Revior to remember. Horrible little critters... (read in full...)
What age is too old to have a baby? 40? 41? 42? Or beyond?
Q. Is 40 (me) and 43 (my husband) too old to have a baby? We both have kids from previous relationships but I would really love for us to have a child together. He has hinted that he thinks we're too old. I don't. We have talked briefly about it at the ...
A. 11 May 2016: Age wise no, but biologically...personally I would not want to run the risk.... (read in full...)
Worried I don't care who I go with
Q. Okay. So this might be really strange because I don't even understand this. But im confused about my sexual orientation. Ever since I was young I feel like I was more sexualy charged then my peers. Since 11 I have been masturbating 2-3 times a ...
A. 10 May 2016: Sound like you are Asexual. Im no expert on the topic. Have a google.... (read in full...)
I found out by accident that my biological parents are not the parents who brought me up. I feel hurt and so confused. What should I do?
Q. I found out something awful and I'm hurt and disappointed and don't know what to do. My mom's brother and my dad's sister used to date in high school. I never met my uncle because he's been in prison since I was 9 and we live states away from our...
A. 10 May 2016: Wow. What a whirlwind of emotions you must be going through at the moment. Not the best way to find out and probably not the planned way for your parents either. Not equally, but a whirl wind for them also. Picturing the unforeseen circumstance of ... (read in full...)
How do I tell the FWB it can’t happen anymore?
Q. I have a friend ill call him ( a ) and we are friends with benefits but now ive met someone else call him ( b ) and we plan on having a relationship once hes back from his family holiday (no wife no kids hes single) How do i tell (a) friend with ...
A. 10 May 2016: thanks for the fun times but Im afraid our FWB arrangement has to come to an end- no explanation needed. That is FWB law... (read in full...)
I need to tell him I faked my pleasure!
Q. So this is slightly embarrassing, hence why I’m staying anonymous. Basically I lied to my boyfriend about liking anal sex and he now wants to make it a regular thing. Do I tell him the truth that I was ‘faking it?’ This all happened last we...
A. 10 May 2016: Each to their own, but anal can be quite pleasurable if done correctly. No ram bam thank you ma'am. Even harder to enjoy once you have already climaxed. Do you need to tell him that you faked your pleasure? No because I think, given that he has ... (read in full...)
What if my ex tells people what we did?
Q. Hi there, I'm just wondering about my ex. He fingered me when we were together and I gave him a wank. I'm scared he's gonna tell people I know and I'm scared if my friends find out that they will break our friendship and I end up with no friends. ...
A. 10 May 2016: Chances are he most probably will anyway trying to look cool. so my advice would be if your friends ask, you respond with "a private life is meant to be just that-private and for that reason not willing to discuss it" and If you are pressed for ... (read in full...)
I put my foot in it! What do I do?
Q. I work in a condominium and have gotten the chance to know a lot of really lovely people. One of them is a lady "Mary" who has the absolute cutest baby daughter. She showed a mommy's day video made for her by her partner and I stupidly asked "Did ...
A. 10 May 2016: Nothing. If anything I think if there were to be any sort of an apology it should be that her reaction made you feel uncomfortable. I mean really, how the heck would you have known otherwise. 2 mums, 2 dads, 2 dads 1 mum, 2 dads 2 mums, trans gender ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife because of her fixation on finding “the big one”?
Q. My wife is totally ignorant to me on occasssion. Thoughtless or worse. She cheated 4 years ago looking for 'the big one' as I caught her when she left FB open. It was a coworker and the brief fling happened after she lost her job. Turns out he w...
A. 10 May 2016: To leave or to stay is something only you can decide and a decision made on whats best for you not her. Your wife has an acid tongue and I agree with aunt honesty that she does indeed seem to be suffering from insecurities with herself. Being ... (read in full...)
I have two women after my love, what do I do?
Q. this is the story of the first woman who is after me Im 20 and she is in her thirties. I moved in with my cousin in September. Within a couple of months my cousins wife made a move on me when he was at work and her son was up stairs asleep i was ...
A. 8 May 2016: Start thinking with the right head. You my friend have allowed yourself to be tricked into thinking that your cousins wife is in love with you. What she is in love with is her ego. A love so strong, real and worth pursuing is one worth leaving a ... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to move on? Am I doing the right thing to keep my distance from him?
Q. Me and a guy were dating for about six months we were never in an official relationship but spent a lot of time together and were exclusive. He recently ended things with me and I feel so heartbroken. He said he still wanted to remain friends ...
A. 8 May 2016: Yes and from what you post are doing a very good job at doing so. It's just as hard as it is tempting not to send a quick txt etc. But you have to stay strong for the sake of your own self preservation. Not sure if you are doing it or not but resist ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend's friend have something against me? Why did he say I was ugly?
Q. Hi guys, just need some help on a situation to see if I am overreacting My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years About a year into the relationship my bf had this friend who I had actually known since I was little but we weren't really f...
A. 8 May 2016: I agree, I would give a wide birth to someone that dissed my partner in such a way buy guys tend to forgive,forget and move forward somewhat easier than women. Who knows what will transpire when they meet up, maybe your bf will bring it up, maybe ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said I was insecure and never said he was sorry for saying it
Q. Hi. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. Everything has been great so far and we have been looking at apartments to move in. Tonight we were hanging out with our friends and I joked about my boyfriend's upcoming trip to the Bahamas ...
A. 7 May 2016: Tit for tat comments I think. Sorry but I think you set yourself up for such a response. My advice take it with a pinch of salt and put it too bed. Not worth getting your knickers in a knot,especially when he's going away.... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend invited me to his graduation. Should I attend?
Q. Hi aunts!! My ex boyfriend just called to ask if I would be willing to attend his undergrad graduation in June 11th. He and I dated for 6 months and broke up twice both times because my best friend let me know he was cheating on me, though neith...
A. 7 May 2016: Im sorry but I just don't get the connection between you being an important part of his life, so much so he cheated on you twice? If you want closure call him up and say " I only accepted to be polite, truth is I really cant be bothered, good luck ... (read in full...)
My fiance gave me the engagement ring his former fiance wore!
Q. At the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat here- which I assure you I'm not, I'd like some opinions. I got engaged 2 weeks ago and have been with my fiancé for almost 4 years. If I'm honest I wasn't keen on the ring- it was pretty but too ...
A. 7 May 2016: Eye brows raised, mouth wide open-OMG are you serious. Cheeky bugger. And...ahem, excuse me but a divide in friends is a step too far they need to but out. If he thinks you are over reacting show him the aunt and uncles responses.... (read in full...)
I'm not Barbie enough. What's the answer?
Q. Hi, I know this sounds like a stupid question but I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is obsessed with Barbie type looking women. If a woman with long blonde hair walks past he stares at her till she's out of sight. I'm the opposite with ...
A. 7 May 2016: Tell him he's not quite your KEN either but you dont make him feel as such when your out and about. If he's going to do it, tell him to do it when he's with the lads not when he's with you and to show some restraint and respect.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my stepdaughter that her father has become abusive towards me?
Q. Should I call and tell his daughter (my stepdaughter) that her father has been abusive for years and recently put his hands around my throat? The day following his abuse, he went out for 5 hours and came back with no apology, no flowers… but wan...
A. 7 May 2016: First things first. YOU know the truth. Honeypie has given you some good advice already. But you take care of you. August is a long time away, too long for him to living under your roof. I see you live in Australia, domestic violence is on the up ... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid? Or should I be wary of her intentions towards my Bf? What should I do?
Q. I have been seeing my Housing Officer for about a year now. We have kept it hidden as he would lose his job if it came out. He's a Housing Officer for our Local Council and I'm a Tenant under the Council. So big no no in his books. I really like him...
A. 7 May 2016: I think it wise to be a wee bit wary. Could be she is the type that finds it sporty to try make a play for someone else's bf. Or it could be that she is simple commenting that he has a nice smile etc in a way that says "well done gf...he's alright' ... (read in full...)
How would my old high school teacher interpret this letter?
Q. Does this letter to a teacher sound good? Does it seem too touchy or weird? How would it make my old teacher feel? Dear [Name of Teacher], Looking back, my impression of you was that you were very thoughtful. Your demeanor was both welcome and supp...
A. 6 May 2016: A nice random act of kindness. I do hope you send it.... (read in full...)
Money issues are driving a wedge between us. Am I being selfish or childish over this?
Q. Hi there, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and we live together. Six months ago he quit his part-time cafe job so that he could focus all his energy on starting his programming career. While I know he is definitely looking for a jo...
A. 5 May 2016: Ok the way I see it is, you guys are in a long term de facto relationship which, in my opinion, has the same commitments and responsibilities as being married. In Australia, by law, married or defacto neither is any more protected. Were you in ... (read in full...)
He swears there's nothing romantic going on. Should I believe him?
Q. Hi guys. I'm a single mom, I'm stuck in a rut. I've been seeing this guy for a year now. We've had some major ups and major downs. Lately though, it's just all downs. He's befriended a waitress at his local bar (he goes just about every day)...
A. 4 May 2016: I think you do know, the problem is you don't want to accept it. Suggesting it's you not being fair most certainly is a case of the pot calling the kettle black. If you are in a committed relationship with someone you don't get to do whatever it is ... (read in full...)
Why do low-income families go on to have more children when it's hard to make ends meet?
Q. Just curious, as I see tons of family's that have sometimes 4 or more children, yet have an extremely small income. You'd think it'd be the opposite, because the low-income families have neither the time nor the money to properly care for these ...
A. 3 May 2016: Well here in Australia popping out kids,for some, is a profession. Why? Because our government enables it. Pop out a kid, get money. Pop out lots of kids, get lots of money. In addition there is all the extras that go with it. A few years ago you ... (read in full...)
Porn addiction is a blight on my life. Please help.
Q. Hi, I have a huge issue. I left my wife a few months ago, an act of sheer madness on my part. I'd been having an emotional affair, I think because of a midlife crisis (no excuse) and had a massive panic attack, leaving my wife for the other woman....
A. 3 May 2016: It's banned in Iceland, where's my passport?... (read in full...)
Our long distance relationship is a struggle! Advice?
Q. My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I love her to absolute death, but there are two major problems. Number one is the fact that long distance relationships are already sexually frustrating, but she isn't even interested or ready ...
A. 3 May 2016: Hi there. Assuming your gf is also between 13-15 Im going be both honest and harsh, not to be mean but with good intention. So here goes... Any boy that pursued my daughter for sex at such a tender age would find himself in some pretty hot water, ... (read in full...)
If our LDR is really over then why is he still responding to my messages?
Q. Hello, and thanks in advance for your advice you are able to offer. I was together with my partner for 16 months. It was a long distance thing, and we saw each other most weekends. Were have been apart for six weeks new, he finished it with...
A. 2 May 2016: Probably because he is polite in knowing that you are hurting so to ignore you would be a harshness he doesn't think you deserve. Not all break ups have to be bad and warrant bad behaviour. Maybe he is truthful when he says he misses you but not in ... (read in full...)
Is it better to just ignore his text or pretend I never received it?
Q. I went out on Friday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at all romantic...
A. 1 May 2016: Really..that's a bit childish. You gave it to him, so sort it out as an adult. It's coffee which is pretty casual so let him know sometime during the conversation where you stand. ... (read in full...)
Is breaking up our friendship my only option? Or is there a better way to deal with this problem?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles some friend and parenting advice please. I have a friend called T who lives a few houses down from me in the same street. We have been friends for a couple of years and our daughters play together. Recently things have been...
A. 1 May 2016: sorry but I beg to differ. I believe it is your place to correct such behaviour-especially when it is your child. Being so young, you are her advocate and to stand by and let it happen in fear of upsetting your friend puts you in a position of being ... (read in full...)
What are the main reasons that would motivate a woman to want to break up with a guy?
Q. I would like the opinion of the lady's an men who write in all the time, my question is what's the main reasons for women to dump the guys? Is it they found some one new, he cheated , he treats her bad, got bored of him, he was to nice, came on ...
A. 30 April 2016: No flack from me, I agree having someone waiting in the winds is good for some but for different reasons. Maybe it makes them feel less vulnerable or the thrill and excitement of someone new makes it easier to make the move. As for the other ... (read in full...)
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