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*utterflyonFire agony aunt


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Hi! =) I'm Jamie, I'm 23 years old. I live in Missouri. I may be young by alot of people's standards, but I have been through alot. I love helping others and have always seemed to be the one that my friends come to when they needed to vent or when they needed someone to tell their problems too. I'm used to dealing with problems. Such as dating, depression, trouble w/ parents and even self harm and suicide. I've dealt with all of these and more myself so I know about it personally. One of my sayings in life has always been "You can't help others if you can't help yourself." Because there was a time when I was so down and out that I couldn't even help myself let alone others. I am most thankful that I am in a position now that I can use my life experiences to help others. As for my relationship status.. I'm divorced, I got married when I was 19 and he left me 2 and 1/2 years later. I am now with one of his friends,lol. No, I didn't cheat. I've been with Billy for 10 incredible months. He's truly my soulmate and I can't wait for the day that he makes me his wife.

For you girls..

Dr. Adrian Rogers said this and I loved it from the first time I heard it... "The bad girl gets the guy but the good girl gets the prize."

Guys may want little skanky girls to bed down when their running around.. but that's not who they're gonna marry.

Don't change for anyone except for yourself. Always be yourself no matter what. Some guys may like it some guys may not. If a guy wants to change you then he doesn't want to be with you.

There is someone out there that will love you for you.

I've fallen for someone 7 years older than me - I'm afraid of what people might say about him! Please help!!

Q.   When I was 16, my aunt introduced me to a guy who was 23. We hung out for the night and hit it off really well (not romantically). He's cute, funny, so sweet, and we had fun together. That was two years ago. Over the past two years we've beco...

A.   2 November 2006: Girl, I think your lucky to have landed an older guy especially if he's like you described. It doesn't matter what other ppl think. Your better off with someone older and mature, trust me. I can see how your mom didn't care for it when you were... (read in full...)

I want the singer to notice me!!

Q.   I'm going to a concert in a few weeks, and I know this is stupid, but I want the singer to notice me (or just other people going to see him) What should I wear to a Lil Chris concert that I'll look super sexy in? And does anyone know how to get ...

A.   24 October 2006: I have no idea how to get invited back stage. But, just get an outfit that you like. If it makes you look good and your confident in it then it will show to others around you. I hope you have fun, even if you don't get to meet lil Chris. ~Jamie... (read in full...)

I am 14 so am I too young to be in love ?

Q.   I am 14 am I too young to be in love ?...

A.   20 October 2006: No I don't think so, There is a differance between puppy love and true love, but you will figure that out. No matter what anybody says only you know if your in love or not and no one should tell you any differant. ~Jamie ... (read in full...)

I want a kiss from do I let him know?

Q.   i really want my boyfriend to make out with me but i dont know if he wants to kiss me so i want to know what i can do to let him know i want a kiss without actually asking for one?...

A.   20 October 2006: If he's your bf, then he prolly does.. I'm guessing your young and ya'll haven't been going together long. I've been there. =) K, here's how I would solve that problem.. When your all alone.. reach over and kiss him gently on the cheek. Not a qu... (read in full...)

We don't want to have sex yet but she wants to enjoy dirty phone calls with me!

Q.   me and my girlfriend want sex but not yet as she is a bit uneasy with it. that's fine with me. were both virgins. she wants to enjoy a dirty chat on the phone. that's fine with me if it helps her. have you got any ideas of what really turns on...

A.   19 October 2006: I was never good at phone sex.. But, I'll try to help you out. It's called phone sex, because your spose to be having sex over the phone. So, describe to her in detail what "your doing to her". Like say.. your both laying in bed talking on the p... (read in full...)

I don't know whether to tell my best friend how I feeling feel and what I want to hear back from him!

Q.   to call this guy my best freind wud be a understatement..he means a lot to me..i dont think he realises with sumone who i also care for a lot..i think im going to meet my boyfreinds family soon..and soon der might even be an ...

A.   19 October 2006: I have learned to listen to that voice. You need to find out how you really feel about these two guys and how your best friend really feels about you. You don't want to get too serious with your boyfriend with this looming over the two of you. ... (read in full...)

We've decided to have sex....what turns girls on?

Q.   me and my girlfriend have decided to have sex on weekend. we love each other. were both 16. she's has had sex before but i havent. she said she likes to have sex hard and fast. what does she mean? what turns girls on? and how do you know when they ...

A.   19 October 2006: And remember, USE A CONDOM!!! You don't wanna be a daddy at 16. ... (read in full...)

We've decided to have sex....what turns girls on?

Q.   me and my girlfriend have decided to have sex on weekend. we love each other. were both 16. she's has had sex before but i havent. she said she likes to have sex hard and fast. what does she mean? what turns girls on? and how do you know when they ...

A.   19 October 2006: I'm glad to see that your so open and honest! I love that about guys. Now, what you need to do is take that into the bedroom with you! Since it's your first time and she's done it before, maybe you should let her be on top first. Then you can ... (read in full...)

Do men generally wear engagement rings?

Q.   Is it true that men don't usually wear their engagement rings? ...

A.   13 October 2006: I've never even heard of an engagement ring for a guy. Except when I play the sims2 for pc, when he proposes to the girl he automatically gets one too.. I just figured it was a lil kink in the game. ~Jamie... (read in full...)

Do you start taking the pill when you are on your period or can you take it before??

Q.   Do you have to start taking the pill when you are on your period or can you take it before?...

A.   12 October 2006: Most pills you take the sunday after you start. I haven't had to take them in a good while so what you need to do is when you get yours just read the instructions that come with them. It should give you two options. They should start taking e... (read in full...)

How do men get free sex without having to pay for it?

Q.   Hi!, i need to ask a question that eveyone escapes from or ignores, without being offensive. How do men get free sex without having to pay for it. More and more men are struggling to get free sex. Its a growing problem that needs to be solved, its ...

A.   11 October 2006: Not to be offensive... But, get yourself a girlfriend or an easy woman. Problem solved. ~Jamie ... (read in full...)

Hes embarrased because I like him, what should I say to him ?

Q.   i like this chap in college, he knows my sisters and half the people round my street,hes recently found out that i like him, but ive heard that he is embarrased,but i dont know why. what shall i say to him....

A.   10 October 2006: Hmmm... Ask him why he's embarrassed. ~Jamie... (read in full...)

Were they talking about me?

Q.   hii im kinda worrying about what to do its just for over a year i really liked this boy and i was talkin to my m8s about him at this sleepover and i was sayin how kind and what a great personality and they were talking about how hot the people they ...

A.   10 October 2006: They were definatly talking about you. Evidently he went to his uncle for some advice. Maybe he's nervous about asking you out? I agree with helpfulgirl, you need to find out what they were talking about. Good Luck!! ~Jamie... (read in full...)

What does not being "in touch" indicate?

Q.   If a person that you have a relationship with, apologises for not being "in touch" and the reason is that they have been absolutely swamped at work. Does this mean that they are not interested in you anyomore or do not want to speak to you for some ...

A.   9 October 2006: Maybe they were really swamped at work and when they came home all they had time for was sleep. I would think that they would make time to call, but the best advise I can give is that if your wondering so much about it, ask them about it. ... (read in full...)

Is 14 too young to go to 3rd base?

Q.   is 14 too young to go to 3rd base ...? i have bin with my bf who is 2 years older than me for 5 months now and love and adore him very much!..i have been to 3rd with him...feeling confident and ready. He has never presured me and he respects me ...

A.   9 October 2006: Everybody has their own little time clock I think in them. You will know if your ready or not. If you want to go to third base and no more then explain to your boyfriend that, that is as far as you will go and no more. Just go to do it and say ... (read in full...)

This guy wants me to work off my debt with sex. Why am I allowing this?

Q.   **Hey Cupid's** Am I slut? I don't want to think I am. I can justify myself. There is this guy who has lust me for quiet a while, at least 2 years. He's been very close to me, friend wise. I have told him everything and I confide in him. At the m...

A.   9 October 2006: No hun your not a slut. But, I think the sex for money thing needs to stop before you ruin your self image of yourself. If he wants to help you out that's fine and if ya'll want to have sex, well that's fine too. But, explain to him that you care... (read in full...)

What do guys want in girls?

Q.   Im 15 and you know like basically all girls want to go out with a guy thats kind, sweet and funny. Well what do guys want from girls??? Girls want 'sweet and funny'. What do guys want in girls?...

A.   9 October 2006: Every guy is differant, just the same as every girl is differant. Some guys like skinny girls, some guys like big girls. When I was younger guys never seemed to like me. I was always depressed and I didn't know why they didn't like me. I was over... (read in full...)

I made 'amateur' pics for my man, is this normal?

Q.   i trust my man of many many years and we have made some amature home videos, watched them and immediatly deleted them. yesterday we took pictures that he could enjoy while hes on days off or alone at home. i trust that he would never remove them ...

A.   9 October 2006: Your definatly not alone in the picture taking department. I've taken pics for mine and I know of many, many others who have too. The thing about protecting yourself is trusting him not to release your photos. I don't know of any other way. I h... (read in full...)

I feel like my relationship is totally one sided, what can I do?

Q.   I have a bf from 8 months now but things between us r so unstable, I feel that we'r not improving, like ok what's next?! Whenever I try and talk about "what's next?" he turns things against me and say that I always wanna make a fuss 4 no reason and ...

A.   9 October 2006: No prob about the long message. Thanks for giving so much info. I really think that you have solved your own problem. He sounds immature and uncommitted to you. If he was committed to you he would want to be with you and not out with his frie... (read in full...)

After watching a movie, it made me send a loving text message. She never responded. Was I stupid?

Q.   hey, last night i watched this film and it really got me thinking about how much people mean to me in my life and i text this girl late at nite (one in the morning) and told her that when she moves from holland back to england im going to give her a ...

A.   9 October 2006: I don't think it was stupid. I would love to get a text or what not like that from my guy. =) Just because she hasn't responded yet doesn't mean anything. She might be savoring it waiting to respond with the right words. She might not even have had ... (read in full...)

Bf wants to clear up the misunderstandings with his ex before tying the knot to me, is this a good idea?

Q.   I need help and i need it badly. i love my bf and he loves me too but our love story has taken a filmy twist.he had an affair for four years before he met me an intense affair they broke up due to some misunderstandings.we have been together for a ...

A.   9 October 2006: Well, I think it is good that he is being open and honest with you about his past. Since you know about this do you know what the "misunderstandings" are? I think it's time for her to move on since he evidently is ready to marry you. If he wants... (read in full...)

I think my ex still wants me!

Q.   I really fancy my ex boyfriend still ,how can i get him to like me back , i see him looking at me . . . i wonder if he thinks what if ? ... like i do ...

A.   28 September 2006: If your too embarrassed to talk to him about it.. how bout having a gf do it? If not the only thing is to do it yourself. Instant messanger is a good way to communcate without being upclose and personal. Other than that, I guess just go with the ... (read in full...)

My gf gets very physical during sex. Does she expect me to do the same?

Q.   Right, I have been with my girlfriend for a few months now. All is good, but, Im a little confused about our sex life. There is a bit of an age gap between us, and to my knowledge women enjoy a romantic passoinate experience in the bedroom, but this ...

A.   27 September 2006: It sounds like she's very comfortable and open with you which is awesome. Your theory is pretty right, but also most women don't want ho hum sex. We want all differant kinds of things, we don't want you to just lay there. lol If you feel comfortable ... (read in full...)

Poor Ratings Query

Q.   Can anyone tell me why I have such poor ratings?? I thought I was giving good advice. Please answer....

A.   27 September 2006: Hey Ivanna, I think that's a great q, because I asked myself that little while ago. My answer.. People come on here seeking advice, but they don't always like what we tell them. I prolly ticked a guy off with what I said in one of my recent answ... (read in full...)

I think my ex still wants me!

Q.   I really fancy my ex boyfriend still ,how can i get him to like me back , i see him looking at me . . . i wonder if he thinks what if ? ... like i do ...

A.   27 September 2006: The only solution I see is to talk to him. Just because you see him looking at you doesn't mean he's thinking, "Man, I wish I had her back." He could just be looking to be looking. So, talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. The worst thing ... (read in full...)

I am married and my online friend has fallen in love with me. Am I cheating?

Q.   i am a 29-year-old married female having a 1-year-old child. A month back i made friends with a 20-year-old male on the internet and have been in constant touch with each other ever since online and over the phone. He claims to have fallen in love ...

A.   27 September 2006: It sounds like you might be falling for him too. Just because it's online doesn't mean it's not cheating. He may say he only wants to be able to love you and be there for you and not mess up your marriage, but one day you two might meet for coffee ... (read in full...)

Why is my boyfriend acting in this way? I am not used to being alone. What should I do?

Q.   my boyfriend broke up with me 9 days ago. he lived with me and my son, he was at the hospital when he wa born and from then on lived with me and my son calls him daddy. he has always been there then he just got up and left saying he dosent want ...

A.   26 September 2006: Hey girl, I'm not positive why he's acting this way, but it seems like he just needs some space. Has he accused you of being demanding or anything like that? Men don't like women telling them what to do all the time, but some of us have a habit ... (read in full...)

I swallowed, can I get pregnant?

Q.   hi rite i have been with my boyfriend ages n recently i sucked him off but i swallowed it can i get pregnant ?...

A.   26 September 2006: No hun, swallowing cum won't get you pregnant. It just gets digested in your stomach like anything else you eat. ~Jamie... (read in full...)

Im married and work over seas, Ive fallen for someone else and am thinking of divorce, but feel pity for my child, what should I do ?

Q.   I am a married guy working overseas away from my wife and kid. I met a girl who at first was my best friend but we eventually became lovers despite the fact I am already committed (she knows). I am suddenly thinking of divorce but I feel pity to my ...

A.   26 September 2006: I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't think you really feel pity for your child or you wouldn't have screwed someone other than your wife. If you want to get a divorce then do it. Your wife will prolly never trust you again and will be heart... (read in full...)

I went off sex after having children, did it to keep him happy! 13 years later we dont have sex how can I stay with him when it appears he hates me because of this ?

Q.   basically i have been with my partner for 20 yrs we have 2 children. our relationship had always been difficult but after having my 1st baby i went off sex and after about 6 weeks he started to demand it and he would get so very cross and grumpy for ...

A.   26 September 2006: Hi PinkFink, It's not healthy to be in a relationship where your constantly having to deal with someone who is hinting that he's going to end it. And I know not everyone wants to have sex all the time, but have you went to the doctor to see if y... (read in full...)

Am I right to break up with my boyfriend because of his promiscuous past?

Q.   I want to break up with my boyfriend, as I cannot get over his promiscuous past. However, I'm scared to do it, as I've had a boyfriend constantly from being 16 (I've been with my current boyfriend for just over a year, I'm now 20) and I don't know ...

A.   22 September 2006: I've been in your shoes before. I was afraid of being alone, I was with someone that I thought I loved and wanted to marry, but inside I knew he wasn't the one for me and I wanted out. Being alone can suck, but you know what? There are so many guys ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend admitted he has gay relationship with his friend, what can I do?

Q.   Hi, I'm 19, my boyfriend's 22 and recently he has admitted to me he had sex with his friend Johnathan. My boyfriend said he wasn't gay or even bisexual and his friend offered him £1,000 if he'd do it - which my boyfriend did; he had sex and got ...

A.   21 September 2006: Hi Annika, Pretty name. =) Sounds to me like he may be lying to you. It's bad enough that he would have sex with his guy friend for money (ever think of workin overtime?..), I mean I could see that happening if he was curious, but he has you. And... (read in full...)

Did I get dumped by text?

Q.   well I've been dumped, and I dont know what to do or feel anymore.... and I know i should just be getting over it and not writing this... but... I was seeing a guy for a while, since around April. We were getting along great and enjoyed 'staying...

A.   21 September 2006: I'm sorry to hear about what happend. He could have atleast talked to you in person about it. But these days the easiest way to break things off with someone is online, in a text, e-mail, ect. Technology has brought out the chickens in us and made ... (read in full...)

I'm just missing him so so much

Q.   My boyfriend has gone away with work He will be gone for a month. I text him everyday and sometimes talk to him on the phone but im so over emotional. I feel so sad and upset. I just want to cry. I know he is coming back and I shouldnt be so s...

A.   20 September 2006: There's nothing wrong in the way that you feel, it only shows how much you care about your bf. I know exactly how you feel.I was in 2 relationships like this. When I was married my husband was gone for over a month one time and then for 2 weeks home... (read in full...)

I have unusual bleeding after having sex...what could be wrong with me?

Q.   Ive had sex with only two partners as i am not as mature as most people. Sex with my first partner was fine and it was fine with the second also, at the start. Ive had sex 5 times, twice with the first and three times with the second. after my 4th ...

A.   20 September 2006: I can see why you are concerned, I would be also. I know when I had sex for the first few times I bled. But what you explained doesn't sound normal to me. I looked it up on Just scro... (read in full...)

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