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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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Boyfriend wants me to indulge in an MMF threesome with his best friend
Q. My boyfriend of a year recently asked me if I would be into a MMF threesome with one of his best friends, although his words were "tag team". He revealed it was one of his fantasy's, and asked me if I would be into it. At the time I said I don't ...
A. 15 March 2017: It's normally a FFM fantasy men have (those that want a threesome), but most know it wouldn't be a good idea in practice. I think you should say no. Double penetration leaves them both in control, not you and using the term "tag team" just prove... (read in full...)
How do I get her to want sex more?
Q. I am in a relationship with a sag woman, I'm a virgo. We have been together for 7 months and about 2 months ago we had sex for the first time. We both seemed to enjoy it and I was able to make her orgasm ( better then last lovers according to her) ...
A. 13 March 2017: It's possible age is a factor for her realising she's not sexually into guys your age. She may not feel the relationship is working for her. She may think you focus too much on sex. Plenty of possibilities. She's also realised you only gave her ... (read in full...)
Should I quit since my boss quit, or stick it out with my co-workers?
Q. Hi.. So I've been feeling really depressed since my boss quit his position at our company.. I'll just fill you guys in real quick.. I've been sexually attracted to my GM since I first met him in our interview, and I was never able to shake off tho...
A. 12 March 2017: Be responsible. Secure another job before leaving this one. Take your FWB out of the equation and focus on what matters: having another job lined up before quitting. For what it's worth, working with someone you have/had a sexual/romantic relat... (read in full...)
How should we respond? My husband's ex has threatened to abandon the children on our doorstep, if we don't agree to take them at a time convenient for her.
Q. We could do with some help solving a problem please. My husband has recently been made redundant(with one week pay) and was offered an opportunity to go on a course to improve his skills and at the end, secure a new job which he was so excited a...
A. 12 March 2017: Tell her no. Keep all communications and call social services, if she dumps them on your doorstep.
If she does, tell SS you're struggling to look after the children these particular weeks and their mother felt it was appropriate to drop them off... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much of my wife? I desire to make love to my wife, but she says it stresses her out when I initiate
Q. I have been married for over 21 years. The last three years have been quite challenging as my wife, who is 3 year older than me, is going through menopause and hormonal changes. I am empathetic and offer my support and encouragement as she goes thr...
A. 12 March 2017: You're asking for too much. It's not your fault, but it's not hers either. I understand that it's difficult to go through for you, but it is *so* much worse for her.
You married her, so you either go through this and bear it, or give up. I know y... (read in full...)
What is wrong with my boyfriend? our conversations on the phone lapse into silence
Q. I'm so frustrated! What is wrong with my boyfriend? He likes to be on the phone with me but has nothing to say. It will literally be silent for half an hour and it annoys me so much to hold the phone and listen to dead air like that. When I t...
A. 12 March 2017: Not everyone can talk a lot on the phone. Half an hour may just be too much. Talk for as long as there's stuff to talk about, then say goodnight. If, after a couple of weeks of that, it's still not enough for you, then leave. There's nothin... (read in full...)
Is this normal? I have never been so happy about ending a relationship.
Q. Hello. I have a very short question for those who have enough knowledge about star signs(if you don't you may google info). Short story: I am a capricorn female (21) my boyfriend (now ex) is a Pisces (23). Our relationship was full of drama bu...
A. 12 March 2017: Horoscopes can be fun and interesting to read, but that's it. There's no actual basis behind them. They are written by people as "entertainment", not fact.
There are only 12 zodiac signs and there are over 7 billion people - that means 583,333,... (read in full...)
Fun with cyber sex? Or more?
Q. I met this guy through a dating app and we clicked! We spoke for a few days on that app. At that moment, I was still getting over a tough breakup for me. I hadn't exchanged numbers with this guy yet. One day, don't know what got into me then but I ...
A. 11 March 2017: There's a difference between taking a good risk and a bad risk. Cybersex is a bad one and so is a man implying your discomfort shouldn't stop sexual activity.
Not being with this one guy doesn't mean you don't end up sad and alone in THREE DE... (read in full...)
When would be the appropriate time to block my ex on social media?
Q. Dear Aunts, This isn't a major issue. The thing is, I have half a mind to block my ex on facebook. Because I hate him so much and would like to erase from my mind I had him in my life. I'm happy and single now but sometimes I feel very angry when ...
A. 11 March 2017: Just block him and move on. Don't tell him, don't tell others. You're not over him because you're over-analysing all of this. Don't have any more contact with him unless you bump into him in person, then be civil, but that's it.... (read in full...)
How can I convince my Twin sibling that her BF is potentially abusive?
Q. She's only known him a few weeks but they are REALLY moving fast and apparently he's saying he loves everything she does already and inviting her over for sleepovers. They haven't slept together yet apparently he has told her that he expects ...
A. 10 March 2017: I hope nobody bothers dating him until/unless he changes his dangerous thoughts. Your sister is lucky she wised up before he hurt her.... (read in full...)
I try to put myself in his girlfriend's shoes, but I still like him.
Q. I began liking this guy (who I see at my bus stop everyday and goes to a different school) in the beginning of Feb and we never speak. A friend gave me his snapchat and we started talking from there and for two people who are shy, we were very ...
A. 10 March 2017: Stop thinking about it. If he's lying, you can tell trust him anyway. Either way, what he thinks of you is sadly irrelevant because he's not single.... (read in full...)
Can I be friends with my ex? An instagram post was misunderstood!
Q. I went out with this boy, who was the same age as me for about 7 months. He dumped me in January, but I don't really know why. Before we dated we were really close friends and since we have broken up, we have become friends again - just as close as ...
A. 10 March 2017: Just be honest and see what happens. Why did you change it? Maybe put a little distance between you.... (read in full...)
Fun with cyber sex? Or more?
Q. I met this guy through a dating app and we clicked! We spoke for a few days on that app. At that moment, I was still getting over a tough breakup for me. I hadn't exchanged numbers with this guy yet. One day, don't know what got into me then but I ...
A. 10 March 2017: Slow it down and don't do cybersex - he could take photos or videos without you knowing and show others if things go sour.
Take it carefully with him - enjoy it, but don't be risky like cybersex. He shouldn't say he wants you to know this side of ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like I lost out after the break up with my boyfriend?
Q. So its been probably a month post break up. My ex and I were in a long distance relationship. I really love my ex and care for him immensely, despite the fact that he is directionless, has no goals/ambition, very lazy in everything and he was/is ...
A. 10 March 2017: My boyfriend says I'm perfect, but he also has too much going on (with uni, work and mental health struggles) to give our relationship the attention it deserved. We're now best friends (it's complicated), but we had to temporarily/permanently give ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like I lost out after the break up with my boyfriend?
Q. So its been probably a month post break up. My ex and I were in a long distance relationship. I really love my ex and care for him immensely, despite the fact that he is directionless, has no goals/ambition, very lazy in everything and he was/is ...
A. 9 March 2017: Familiarity. It's common and you just let it fade.... (read in full...)
How much effort should a woman put into being attractive for her partner?
Q. How much effort should a woman put into being attractive for her partner?. I mean considering my partner has developed very particulicular tastes in women lately. How much should I be trying to be what he wants or trying to be attractive to him He...
A. 8 March 2017: You need to take care of yourself, not mold yourself into something for someone else.... (read in full...)
How can I convince my Twin sibling that her BF is potentially abusive?
Q. She's only known him a few weeks but they are REALLY moving fast and apparently he's saying he loves everything she does already and inviting her over for sleepovers. They haven't slept together yet apparently he has told her that he expects ...
A. 8 March 2017: The thing that worries me is that he's told her what he expects in bed, not asked her if she wants it too. Some people like being dominant and having partners who are submissive, but it must be what they both want. If your sister doesn't, she needs ... (read in full...)
Should I go on a trip with my family or to a wedding with my boyfriend?
Q. I'm struggling to make a decision. I don't want this to sound like first world problems or like a brat. I've been dating someone for nearly 6 months now. We're starting to get more serious and have had a really great relationship so far. The ...
A. 7 March 2017: I think there are more benefits to travelling with your parents than a wedding with your boyfriend. Say you break up in a few months and went to the wedding instead of France.... would you regret it as you'd no longer have contact with those people? ... (read in full...)
Afraid of getting too attached to him and getting depressed over it.
Q. I am currently dating a guy who's getting close to becoming my first boyfriend and Im afraid that Im getting way too attached to him. He left this week to achieve his personal goal and of course I didnt try to stop that. Who am i to? and it wont be ...
A. 7 March 2017: I think you need therapy to work on your clinginess and sadness/depression. Some relationships work out, others work for a while and then end - you shouldn't be in one if you couldn't deal with it not working out forever.
I think a therapis... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to use him for sex?
Q. So there's this guy that fancied me. I sleep with him but don't have no feelings. Is it wrong of me using him for sex when he wants more ...
A. 6 March 2017: Yes. Don't use someone when you know they want more.... (read in full...)
My co-worker was pushing invitations to her church, was my response rude?
Q. My co worker that I'm friendly with would always invite me to her church and church related activities. She got really pushy and told me not to disappoint God...that it is for my own good.I never had any interest until one day I decided to just see ...
A. 6 March 2017: Lots of people with different beliefs are good/best friends, but they don't push their beliefs on each other.
You don't need to say it bored you, just that you have no interest and will have to block communication if the religious messages... (read in full...)
My co-worker was pushing invitations to her church, was my response rude?
Q. My co worker that I'm friendly with would always invite me to her church and church related activities. She got really pushy and told me not to disappoint God...that it is for my own good.I never had any interest until one day I decided to just see ...
A. 6 March 2017: I think you were a bit rude by saying you were bored out of your mind, but you've apologised, so let it go.... (read in full...)
He was my friend a long time ago. But he now has a girlfriend. Could I ever mean more to him? Or is he destined to be only a friend?
Q. I fell in love with a old friend i met 39yrs ago. i were dating another one also. I chose my husband over him who is now deceased in whom were also a friend at that time. My friend came back in my life after 26yrs. To support me thru the ha...
A. 5 March 2017: I'm so sorry you've had such a challenging time, but I do not believe that this man is good for you.
Join hobbies local to you, where you can meet others your age: bingo, seniors dancing, senior holidays, etc. Find someone single to love. Maybe al... (read in full...)
What I thought was just a good time has me having feelings for this girl!
Q. I'm away from my wife now for 1 month, she's visiting her parents and she is pregnant, we are in good terms and very happy with our relation, we have this kind of up and downs that can happen to all the couples well one week ago I traveled for 3 da...
A. 5 March 2017: First things first: GET TESTED FOR STDs! Do not touch your wife sexually until your doctor has given you clear test results.
Secondly, own up to your wife. She needs to know that you thought it was okay to cheat on her, then make up her mind if ... (read in full...)
Any words of advice on how I can negotiate to achieve more respectful better relationships in the future?
Q. Sometimes I feel like I should just tell a man from the very beginning: "I am looking for a purely physical relationship, the kind that begins and ends in your bed, and I don't meet your friends, and we don't share our lives with each other. Or...
A. 5 March 2017: My advice is to make up your mind. *You* broke your rules. *You* chose to stay with someone who is confusing you. *You* chose to take off the condom without commitment. Don't blame men when you have every opportunity to walk away from a situation ... (read in full...)
I missed the boat and it's breaking my heart. I wanted to be a wife and a mother. Will I ever get over this?
Q. I don't see how I can ever be happy. I LONG to be a wife and mom. I want it so badly that it breaks my heart. Realistically, I know that it can never happen because everyone knows that men aren't attracted to a woman who is over thirty. I'm i...
A. 5 March 2017: You really need therapy, OP - this is so irrational and *you* are holding yourself back, not your age or appearance.
You're not "old" until you're in your 60s and you're never too old to find love and marriage.
Before you date, you *must* sort ... (read in full...)
Why did she react the way she did to my words? She is the one who lied to me, earlier.
Q. Hi everyone This isn't so important just something that really confuses me. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 2 years ago. The relationship had become long distance, she had changed, she insulted me a lot, I was not happy at all. so when one da...
A. 5 March 2017: If you no longer care, don't bother with her any more. Let go. Move on.... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time hoping something will eventuate between us? So far he's ignored my texts, shouted at me, and told me it will not work between us
Q. I met a guy 6 years ago he was going through a divorce and I a separation. After couple conversation we had words and he said that we will not add up. Sometimes I would message him and he would ignore my messages. I recently moved and last ...
A. 4 March 2017: OP, he'd ask you out if he wanted you. Move on.... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time hoping something will eventuate between us? So far he's ignored my texts, shouted at me, and told me it will not work between us
Q. I met a guy 6 years ago he was going through a divorce and I a separation. After couple conversation we had words and he said that we will not add up. Sometimes I would message him and he would ignore my messages. I recently moved and last ...
A. 4 March 2017: There's no room for misunderstanding here; you know he doesn't want to be with you. Please let go and move on.... (read in full...)
I try to put myself in his girlfriend's shoes, but I still like him.
Q. I began liking this guy (who I see at my bus stop everyday and goes to a different school) in the beginning of Feb and we never speak. A friend gave me his snapchat and we started talking from there and for two people who are shy, we were very ...
A. 4 March 2017: Don't get into the habit of "taking" other girls' boyfriends. You're young and this relationship probably wouldn't last years, so it's not worth it. If he wanted to be with you, he'd break up with his girlfriend before knowing how you feel because ... (read in full...)
The red-blooded male in me says to give her more experience, the gentleman in me says to wait a few years!
Q. Sex question- a girl I've met online is very inexperianced and wants me to teach her about the physicality of sex. What's the problem?- there's a 12 year age gap and while she's above the age of consent and therefore it would be legal, the ethic...
A. 4 March 2017: This is why the low age of consent bothers me; it makes grown adults see children (at 16/17, she's still pretty much a child) as potential dates/sex partners. It's not okay for a man your age to want anything non-platonic with anyone under 18 and, ... (read in full...)
Why is he withholding sex?
Q. Withholding sex? I have been seeing a guy I met for the past 4-5 months. The first few months were quite casual and we'd only see each other maybe once a week. The last couple we've been doing more together, going on trips out of town etc. At the...
A. 4 March 2017: It could be a red flag, but it couldn't just be he doesn't want sex yet. You're still new to each other and not every single guy will want sex so soon - most will, but not all.... (read in full...)
Does this signify interest?
Q. A girl at work responding to my asking her something responded "for you anything". I have had this also said to me in another setting by different girl (she serving me or telling me where a product is). Of course we've had a friendly chat or chats ...
A. 3 March 2017: In most situations, this is just a joke. Don't take it as interest. The only way to gauge interest is to ask them out unless they seem disinterested in you.... (read in full...)
Garment crisis in the carpark
Q. Hello everyone, My husband and i work in the same company different departments . So i just came from ethiopia to USA and i am experiencing cultural shocks! so the other day there is a fire alarm at work and all co-workers had to stay outside in ...
A. 3 March 2017: He's being irrational. It was very kind of the man and he wasn't going to get cold, plus peer pressure - you did nothing wrong. It is culturally acceptable to borrow someone's jacket when it's offered to you. Your husband should never swear at you ... (read in full...)
I want to marry this guy, how soon can I propose to him?
Q. Im thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on our one year anniversary! The thought makes me super excited, not nervous or scared, like in previous relationships. So I just want to ask, what are your thoughts on feeling the way I do after such ...
A. 3 March 2017: You've only been together two months, which is why you're so excited. You're in the honeymoon phase, but you barely know anything about him. Sure, you can propose after a year, but it's not wise to think about it now because you'll miss/igno... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't know about my secret eating disorder.
Q. Long story short, I have struggled with bulimia and anorexia for 10 years. I do not struggle with purging anymore, but restrict my calorie intake everyday and continue to have issues with food. Me and my bf have known each other for 3 and ...
A. 3 March 2017: You're brave for coming here, but you know you can't hide it from him.
You must go to the program and begin recovery properly because you can't afford not to. You also can't hide it from him, so it may be best to take him to see your doctor w... (read in full...)
Could this girl be interested in me?
Q. I stop at this petrol station sometimes. The past two, three times there's been a nice young girl there, and as at the times I go there it's not that busy, we have a chat. Somehow we got on to the topic of massages. I said that my massages may be ...
A. 2 March 2017: "During our discussion I casually asked her "maybe I should give you a massage?". To which she responded "what, right here?". I was too slow and later I realised this could have been an invitation" - I'm a little worried you don't realise how creepy ... (read in full...)
My married lover won't commit to me.
Q. Been having a relationship with a married man for 11 years, I have asked him on numerous ocassions for me and him to be a proper couple.....but even though he says he wants to in the future he can't right now because of the impact it will have on ...
A. 2 March 2017: Nothing anybody says will change your mind because you've stayed for roughly 1/4 of your whole life. You're here to have somebody tell you it's okay, he'll leave his wife, but he won't. Even if he did, you can't trust him because he cheated with ... (read in full...)
Can you teach an Aspie how to make friends?
Q. I'm self-diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (by myself and several close family members). I've always had a tough time with reacting fast and correctly when I'm talking to people, especially in groups, which almost always size up against me for n...
A. 2 March 2017: OP, regardless of your age, you need to be diagnosed as having Asperger's before saying you have it. Lots of people find it very difficult to make friends and we may have traits of conditions that we don't actually have. You may have Asperger'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend appears to be attracted to transgender women!
Q. A few weeks ago I noticed my boyfriend had sent a friend request to a young lady. When I went to her page her pics were mostly of her in sexy lingerie and telling all to visit her on webcam. I also noticed she had obvious breast implants and a ...
A. 2 March 2017: For what it's worth, you don't have to be gay or bisexual to be attracted to transgender people of the opposite gender to you.
Men can be attracted to masculine women, trans or cis, without being gay or bi - the person they are attracted to is fe... (read in full...)
Can you teach an Aspie how to make friends?
Q. I'm self-diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (by myself and several close family members). I've always had a tough time with reacting fast and correctly when I'm talking to people, especially in groups, which almost always size up against me for n...
A. 2 March 2017: Self-diagnosed means nothing. Diagnosing conditions needs to be left to professionals - a condition left undiagnosed by a professional is invalid. You may have Aspergers, but you may not and you can't diagnose it yourself.
As for friends, you need... (read in full...)
My married lover won't commit to me.
Q. Been having a relationship with a married man for 11 years, I have asked him on numerous ocassions for me and him to be a proper couple.....but even though he says he wants to in the future he can't right now because of the impact it will have on ...
A. 1 March 2017: You've allowed him to use you for 11 years, why would he leave? I'm sorry that you think so low of yourself that you'd take scraps. This should have ended 10½ years ago at the latest. I'm also very disappointed youve been trying to take another ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend appears to be attracted to transgender women!
Q. A few weeks ago I noticed my boyfriend had sent a friend request to a young lady. When I went to her page her pics were mostly of her in sexy lingerie and telling all to visit her on webcam. I also noticed she had obvious breast implants and a ...
A. 27 February 2017: Being attracted to women, transgender or otherwise, isn't the issue. Him searching for women who use their Facebook for sexual things is the problem.... (read in full...)
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