Like what
she writes?
... Add *ndie's Thoughts to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ndie's Thoughts a private message | | *ndie's Thoughts's Ratings | |
| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
|
I start liking my male friends as more than friends and I don't want this to happen
Q. Hello I am 18 and have just finished my last year at college. For about the past year, I keep forming attractions towards my male friends. I mean yes before then I'd be sexually attracted to guys I speak to once or pass in the street but never ...
A. 13 June 2017: Do you flirt with any of them? Sit close on the sofa/floor? Act cutesy together, thinking it's harmless? Talk about sex or similar, even just in conversation? Hang out alone?
If you do any of these, it encourages your hormones to attach to them.... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to gain the attention of this gorgeous Turkish girl when I return to Turkey for another vacation?
Q. Hi people I'm a college student from France. So I want to share my story with you all and hopefully find a solution. A couple friends and I went on vacation to Turkey 2 weeks ago, and I met this gorgeous Turkish girl. I've never seen anything li...
A. 13 June 2017: What you need to remember is that charm only works if the person is interested. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem interested and I think you shouldn't plan another trip to Turkey if your main aim is to see her again.... (read in full...)
My love life has made me depressed
Q. I have had a difficult relationship history. I changed cities and changed boyfriends in my 20's - atleast 4 of them. These were men who really liked me and I left them. I was dumped twice by two similar Casanova-type of men in between, which made it ...
A. 12 June 2017: You need to clean up your mess. Get a divorce. Spend some time single and learn to be happy on your own. If you're always miserable about being single, you'll keep dating dodgy guys because you're desperate.... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to gain the attention of this gorgeous Turkish girl when I return to Turkey for another vacation?
Q. Hi people I'm a college student from France. So I want to share my story with you all and hopefully find a solution. A couple friends and I went on vacation to Turkey 2 weeks ago, and I met this gorgeous Turkish girl. I've never seen anything li...
A. 12 June 2017: Before you go about charming her, how would you make the long distance work? How often would you see each other? How would you trial living together before one moves country? Would you move to Turkey permanently in the next 3 years? How woul... (read in full...)
Is it right for me to settle for this man?
Q. I am dating this guy he is a friend who has loved me for years. I love him as a person but am not sexually attracted to him. I have a list of reasons for staying and a list for leaving I want people's opinions: staying: He really likes me a...
A. 11 June 2017: *and staying with someone you're not attracted to in all areas is not reasonable or fair.... (read in full...)
Is it right for me to settle for this man?
Q. I am dating this guy he is a friend who has loved me for years. I love him as a person but am not sexually attracted to him. I have a list of reasons for staying and a list for leaving I want people's opinions: staying: He really likes me a...
A. 11 June 2017: I think we have replied to you before recently. If not, we can only say the same: it's not fair to stay with someone you're not completely in love with or attracted to - romantically, sexually, etc.
You want children, but you don't really want thi... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to gain the attention of this gorgeous Turkish girl when I return to Turkey for another vacation?
Q. Hi people I'm a college student from France. So I want to share my story with you all and hopefully find a solution. A couple friends and I went on vacation to Turkey 2 weeks ago, and I met this gorgeous Turkish girl. I've never seen anything li...
A. 11 June 2017: Um, what do you hope will come of this?
How would you date with the 1,400 miles between you?
Research the Turkish culture and dating rules.
Don't go to Turkey just to see her because you could flop it and it's a waste of your money.... (read in full...)
Feeling un-easy about my gf going on cruise. Am I going to be cheated on during the cruise?
Q. My girlfriend of 6 months is going on a cruise with her family for a week here soon, I am just kinda of un-easy because of all the stories I've heard about what happens on cruises. I'm her first ever bf and she's never given me a reason to suspect ...
A. 10 June 2017: If you can't trust her, you're not mature enough for a relationship. If she cheats, she isn't either.
She hasn't given you a reason to think she would and there aren't any cruise-specific cheating rumours anywhere because cheating can happen o... (read in full...)
My husband has me earn lovers by performing painful or degrading acts with him
Q. Hi I'm a bit lost and in need of help. I have been married for 20 years to a man I have always loved. He has always had strange sexual practices and I have always played along, I have always looked up to him and always felt that he was better t...
A. 10 June 2017: Telling the kids will be hard, but you won't regret leaving an abuser. It won't be easy, but that's why it's worth it.
Like an addict should stay out of relationships during the main parts of recovery, a person leaving a long term and/or abusive ... (read in full...)
Why can't my wife understand my need to cross-dress? Why is she so upset that I wore her clothes?
Q. My wife knows I am a crossdresser so why was she so angry at me when I came home the other night. I was completely dressed, with a full make over, my eyebrows plucked super thin with a high arch in them and my ears pierced. She said she knows t...
A. 10 June 2017: If you want to be a woman, you're probably transgender, not a cross dresser.
Aside from that, of you did kiss someone, your a cheater and that's never okay.
See a therapist and figure out ignore you are a woman or if you just like dressing up... (read in full...)
My husband has me earn lovers by performing painful or degrading acts with him
Q. Hi I'm a bit lost and in need of help. I have been married for 20 years to a man I have always loved. He has always had strange sexual practices and I have always played along, I have always looked up to him and always felt that he was better t...
A. 10 June 2017: He can help you leave, but *please* be single and unattached for a few months. Don't continue a relationship (sexual or romantic) with your lover until you're divorced and spent a few more months single. It's not healthy to jump from one relation... (read in full...)
How much should I spend on my boyfriend's kids' graduations?
Q. Hi, I'm not very familiar with the US culture. My boyfriends son and daughter are graduating from high school and middle school. They have a party soon and I don't know what's the norm here and what I should get for them. Do you think spending l...
A. 9 June 2017: I think $100 - $150 would be more than enough. You're no doubt going to help them financially for quite some time still, so there isn't much point giving more than $150 and a party. A cake each would be sweet.... (read in full...)
I'm very attracted to one of my future sister in law's alternate personalities
Q. My love life is like something out of a movie and I feel like I'm out of options. A bit of back story, I have been seeing a man now for almost a year who has been my best friend for a long time and we've been engaged for a few months. He's ...
A. 9 June 2017: You can't play wrestle with someone who isn't your partner. It's silly and easy to turn sexual, as you know. You can't have a relationship with someone who's personality is never the same. You don't love your boyfriend enough, so please leav... (read in full...)
My husband has me earn lovers by performing painful or degrading acts with him
Q. Hi I'm a bit lost and in need of help. I have been married for 20 years to a man I have always loved. He has always had strange sexual practices and I have always played along, I have always looked up to him and always felt that he was better t...
A. 9 June 2017: You need to leave and be single for a while. It is *not* your fault.
Don't be with anyone for a few months, not even your lover. You need time to heal and to learn to be happy single, or you're jumping from one relationship to another and that's n... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? He's 18 years older than me, separated and with kids.
Q. So I have been seeing this amazing guy for a few months now and I'm head over heels for him. He is the same towards me. The only thing that worries me is he is 18 years older than me and is separated with kids... Advice please?...
A. 8 June 2017: Also, "separated" should always be "divorced" before dating. If he's not divorced yet, it is a messy situation to be in.... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? He's 18 years older than me, separated and with kids.
Q. So I have been seeing this amazing guy for a few months now and I'm head over heels for him. He is the same towards me. The only thing that worries me is he is 18 years older than me and is separated with kids... Advice please?...
A. 8 June 2017: It could work, but he's old enough to be your dad and he's in a completely different stage of life to you. You're just starting out in life and he's practically halfway through it (in terms of experiences).
Also, his kids should always come fir... (read in full...)
The 60 year old professor doesn't know me. Advice, please? Should I tell him my feelings for him?
Q. hello guys, I have a crush on my professor, he is 60 years old, it been more than 2 years, I don't know what to do. I'm always thinking of him. He is so smart and handsome, I like his personality and smile. I feel I need to know him,and talk...
A. 8 June 2017: OP, you can't know your own feelings because you don't know him and he doesn't know you.
What would you tell him? "I have a crush on you"? He's your lecturer, which means he's out of bounds. He's probably married or otherwise unavailable. You're l... (read in full...)
Should I stop saying "I love you" to her since she says she feels hot and cold about it now?
Q. I have been seeing the most amazing girl in the world for a few months now and I think everything is going really well but last night she dropped a bombshell on me. I had said I loved her a few weeks before in what felt early but felt right and s...
A. 8 June 2017: Do you live together already? ("kisses before work")
I think it's all moving too quickly. You are still in the honeymoon phase and you're new to each other. This isn't love in the same way it would be after a year, so it's not something everyone... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always calling me names. What should I do?
Q. I'm girl who is 19 years old I'm not in school I have a daughter who is 1years now I live with my boyfriend.He is always angry he is calling me by names what should I do? ...
A. 7 June 2017: Look for a women's shelter that will help you and your daughter. You need to take control of your life. Get a job, get educated, take care of your daughter's future.... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair with a married woman and she doesn't know if she can ever leave her husband for good
Q. I am a 26 year old man. I work in a school system and I have now been dating one of my co workers for exactly a year (June 9th) The big problem here is that she is married, with 2 kids, and 11 years older then me. But this is not an affair like ...
A. 7 June 2017: It is *exactly* an affair like any other. You've fallen for a woman who is just bored in her marriage. She doesn't want to leave and she has everything she wants. You need to leave her - you're wasting your life on a woman who will never be yours.
... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't like blow jobs! Am I doing it wrong?
Q. I know this may sound odd, but my husband hates blowjobs. We've been together 8 years now, married for 2 and it's always been the same since I've known him, he's never enjoyed me going down on him. I have only ever gave 1 guy a blowjob before h...
A. 7 June 2017: He may feel that it's degrading, even if you don't, so he just doesn't like it and that's okay. Stick to things you both like :)... (read in full...)
Is he rushing things by telling me he loves me when we've only been talking online for less than a month?
Q. Hello everyone, So i'm 19 years old and there's a guy i met online, who's really cute, smart and i like him. It's my first time really liking someone. We still didn't meet, though we're chatting everyday for hours.. The thing is he told me late...
A. 7 June 2017: Red flag. Either he's doing it to try to manipulate you or he's naive and falls for someone too quickly.
If you continue talking to him, tell him you need to slow it down because you barely know each other.... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair a couple of years ago. Should I write to the woman and ask some questions?
Q. my husband had an affair a couple years ago, he says it is over but I have my doubts. She does not live near us anymore. I want to write her a letter and ask her if he has called her or written her a letter. If he has what has he told her, did he...
A. 7 June 2017: You can write the letter, but it won't help you.
Your core issue is that you (understandably) don't trust your husband. You either need to get couples' counselling to try to work through it or get a divorce because a marriage without trust is... (read in full...)
How can I make my Bf quit weed?
Q. My boyfriend smokes weed and he lies to me that he doesnt. I know he loves me a lot and will never ditch me, but my parents wont accept him, if he doesnt quit weed. He knows that too but he just doesn't quit it. He wants to marry me but i can't g...
A. 7 June 2017: You know who he is and don't like it, so you have to leave. He won't change and you can't make him.... (read in full...)
My FWB wants me to stay the night while his GF is away. Does my FWB expect something different? Or the same?
Q. So I've been seeing a FWB guy since we were both 17ish. Its been nearly 10 years and its a continuing thing, never stopped for either of us. But we have both in and out of relationships and we still do it on the DL. Just wondering i guess if...
A. 7 June 2017: You're both cheaters, so do yourselves a favour and either be in a relationship together or cut off the FWB.
Why is it okay for you both to cheat on innocent people for 10 years?
Seriously, OP, you have to answer that question because there's ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my BF? I kissed one of my close friends while having a loving boyfriend.
Q. Last weekend I got very drunk with a group of my friends at a club and ended up kissing one of my close guy friends. I have known his forever and honestly, have had a thing for him in the past that has lasted a long time. But, right now I am w...
A. 7 June 2017: I guess the posters saying don't tell him wouldn't want to know. I'd want to know that I couldn't trust my partner when they drink.
Sit him down (make sure he's not a violent person) and just come out with it. "I'm really sorry, John, but I drank ... (read in full...)
Feeling confused. What is happening to me? I had sex with him and I'm not over him yet. Even though my feelings for him are fading.
Q. Hello, I'm 17 going on 18 and I am a little confused about my feelings towards a guy. In a nut shell, we've been friends for a while, things got flirty, he hung out a few times, I lost my virginity to him, we decided to stay friends to avoid th...
A. 6 June 2017: Cindy's right; a friend is only a friend if you don't have romantic/sexual feelings for them. You wouldn't have wanted to have sex with him if you were over him - bear that in mind in the future. Adults struggle with FWBs, so teenagers strugg... (read in full...)
I did not choose the dress my boyfriend loved. Did I make a mistake?
Q. Hi. I took my boyfriend shopping. He is one of the rare guys who enjoys shopping with his girlfriend. He likes to help me find clothes and watches me as I try them on and always gives me his honest opinion. Yesterday we were out shopping...
A. 5 June 2017: You should always wear what you feel good in. That said, "black" and "sexy" are two things that aren't appropriate for a wedding.... (read in full...)
What sacrifices do you make in a relationship? To what extent?
Q. Okay I'm not very "good" at relationships, they only usually work out for a few weeks, but currently I'm in a relationship and have been for 7 months now. I honestly couldn't be happier. I just want to know (from people who have had experien...
A. 3 June 2017: Just don't be alone with your guy friends. You shouldn't have to lose friends for a partner, unless you have history with them, but you also shouldn't really spend time alone with other guys in private.
If you hang out with your best friend a... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn't want to move abroad
Q. We've been dating for only a few months, our first month I told her I have a dream to move to another country and she said "Yeah if you go we'd break up because I wouldn't leave my family behind!" We decided to stay together but recently a few d...
A. 3 June 2017: Too emotional? Dude, moving abroad is life changing - you should both be somewhat emotional about it. She couldn't leave family behind so, if you're serious about moving, you're not going to work out. Also, you've barely dated, so this lov... (read in full...)
Recently, my girlfriend starts to bleed everytime she orgasms. What could be wrong with her?
Q. Hello all, I've been with my girlfriend for around seven years. We are our firsts in pretty much everything. Love her to bits still. No fights, good sex life, nothing wrong really. However, something has occurred in our sex-life which I...
A. 3 June 2017: She needs to see a gynaecologist before it gets worse. It's highly unlikely it could be something to do with cheating; it's a health concern.... (read in full...)
I have literally no interest in pursuing girls anymore, is this normal?
Q. Hi all, I have a situation where I can't decide whether it's normal or not. Basically, I have literally no interest in pursuing girls anymore. I'm 25 years old, never had a GF, my sexual experiences are one night stands or brief flings and...
A. 2 June 2017: Anon, back up a bit. Assuming I'm correct about who the OP is, they haven't mentioned that she was manipulative, particularly at the end. The OP's mistake was not getting rid of her properly when he knew they wanted different things and keeping ... (read in full...)
Is it over with my married lover? Or is he just cooling down?
Q. Hello everyone, through common friends I met a guy at a dinner and we clicked instantly. I have been single for 3 years and I'm very hard to connect with someone immediately. We spoke the entire evening and exchanged numbers. The next morning I had ...
A. 1 June 2017: We do judge the man, but he's not here to hear our opinions.
You may be a victim to his charm, but that's all it is. As soon as you found out he wasn't single, you should and could have left. Falling for someone doesn't mean you can't walk awa... (read in full...)
I need help so I can stop having an irrational hatred towards women
Q. I did some therapy but it didn't really help. Through strength and determination I’m a much more positive person that I was a year ago and I’m proud of myself for my growth. Core Problems: 1. My earliest experiences with the opposite sex were ve...
A. 31 May 2017: You need more therapy. You can't change this on your own. Finding a good therapist is the answer - if the first doesn't work, find another.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my fiance how I came up with the name for our unborn daughter?
Q. Hi guys So I am 29, engaged and pregnant. To be honest life couldn't be better right now. My summer wedding is around the corner and everything's great. Here's my question. Me and my fiance are having a girl and have come up with the best n...
A. 31 May 2017: Does anyone else know how you came up with it? If no, that's good. If yes, ditch the name.
Does it remind you of him? If yes, ditch the name.
Is there another thing you can say when people ask how you came across and chose that name? If no, dit... (read in full...)
Is it over with my married lover? Or is he just cooling down?
Q. Hello everyone, through common friends I met a guy at a dinner and we clicked instantly. I have been single for 3 years and I'm very hard to connect with someone immediately. We spoke the entire evening and exchanged numbers. The next morning I had ...
A. 31 May 2017: You *must* stop. You know it's wrong, so cut it off properly. Tell him it's over and stop talking to each other. It's not relevant whether he feels guilty or not; he *is* guilty, but is still doing it because he doesn't care enough to stop. He is ... (read in full...)
Drunken fumble, was what the guy did normal making out or was it more than that?
Q. I was at a party recently and we both were pretty drunk and horny, and started making out and it turned into a very intense one. He started moving my hands all around her body including my breasts and my butt, and cupped my breasts and butt ...
A. 30 May 2017: This is why getting drunk is a bad idea. He can do what he wants and you're less likely to stop him - he's also less likely to care what you want, if he's drunk.
Different people like different things. Some like just stroking and others like gra... (read in full...)
My mother says it will ruin my reputation if I am with this guy
Q. Me and this black have been talking and i told my mama about it and she doesn't approve. she mad me feel horrible about the whole situation and I told him that we were gonna have to be friends. I dont know what to do because i dont see what the big ...
A. 30 May 2017: Date him, provided you don't have any ignorances about it. Don't force anything on your family, just stay safe.... (read in full...)
I'm falling in love with a married woman who's in a bad marriage but will she ever leave her husband?
Q. I recently moved to a new location about 6 months ago, I started going to bar to hang out. I started talked to the a Server while I was the bar and every time I go in she always made a point to go say hi. Now she was cute, so I went more often th...
A. 30 May 2017: You need to stop. It may be a bad marriage, but you can't have someone who is still married.
Cut contact, at least until she's single. Move on.... (read in full...)
I can't stop stalking my ex on social media and I can't get over the way that he dumped me mercilessly
Q. I can't get over my ex and stalking him on social media; this is pathetic and I don't talk about it beside my therapists that doesn't approve my actions but here it is and I am hoping that someone might have some advice - my relationship with my ex ...
A. 30 May 2017: You *must* delete and block him.
Get off of social media because you're not responsible enough to use it and stop stalking him. It takes longer to look at social media than to not look at it.... (read in full...)
I cant seem to crack the code to being happier, I am always miserable.
Q. I wanted to ask if someone else has struggled to be happy- I am a miserable person and as much as I try in therapy I just can't be satisfied. I worry a lot about what others perceive me and I please People. Sadly the only joy I have gotten is ...
A. 30 May 2017: Take a break from social media. Get two hobbies - one you can do on your own and one that gets you out meeting people. You've left a selfish, superficial life behind, so it'll take time to build a new one. You will never be happy while y... (read in full...)
I have literally no interest in pursuing girls anymore, is this normal?
Q. Hi all, I have a situation where I can't decide whether it's normal or not. Basically, I have literally no interest in pursuing girls anymore. I'm 25 years old, never had a GF, my sexual experiences are one night stands or brief flings and...
A. 28 May 2017: You're not ready. Don't force it. If you want to talk to girls, put yourself in good positions to, like speed dating, just to give you random experiences. Don't do it in places like clubs, that are more for hook-ups than actual conversation.
You'v... (read in full...)
| *ndie's Thoughts's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ndie's Thoughts has
added them and they have added *ndie's Thoughts!
|
