A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 32 and this has bothered me ever since I first had sex at 17. What on earth do i do on top???When i build up the courage to try it, i get up there and there I am sat on top of my husband thinking what the heck do I do now!!! And I want to die!I have tried squatting and moving up and down, kneeling and going up and down on his penis but is this right??My husband looks absolutely bored rigid whereas I want him to think I am the best thing since sliced bread!!I love the missionary and doggy style but I wanna give something back.. please help I'd love to know what other girls do and what other guys like????????In films the girl just seems to move backwards and forwards but.. oh god... please help!!! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): i am 17 and have been having sex wth my partner for about 8 months now! he is always on top or does me doggie style but he would be like, ' you wanna go on top now' he knows i hate it, not because it dosent do it for me cause it doe sbut because i dont know wat to do and sometime he would move me with his hands! help lol
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 This is really one of the greatest coital positions offering the woman more control on her own pleasure spots, as well as a comfortable and relaxing position for the man. The posting from "Susan Strict" is superb, as is "Uncle Phil's" response. I slightly disagree with "Lonely Two" that the position, often called "Cowgirl" in Texas, is any less pleasurable for the man if the guy knows how to deal with it.
While I agree that maintaining erection may be a challenge if the man is flat on his back, my solution is to prop two or more pillows behind - and perhaps against the headboard - to maintain a more inclined body position. For some reason, at least for me, there is plenty of sensation this way. My suggestion is to follow the advice below, and just play with the position at length. It's fantastic.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (1 May 2008):
 Ah.... on top... best place to be. Well, it's my favourite!
First and foremost, being on top lets you concentrate on your own pleasure - which is usually a great turn-on for him too. Be a wild woman! Pressing down onto the hard bone just above his bits-and-pieces so that it makes contact with the best point on you down there (hey, aren't I putting it politely?!) and then rubbing yourself back and forth on it always works wonders for me. If you can follow it by a bit of serious up-and-down on him (without going up too far and losing it) then that should work wonders for him too.
If he likes his nipples played with, then you are in the perfect position to do that too - just watch you don't get too excited and grip too hard. Clutching at his chest in passion is a turn-on for most men, and within reasonable limits running fingernails up and down his chest can be very sensual. Leaning forward so your breasts are towards his face is good too.
If you and he are into oral then before you actually do any of that, sitting higher up straddling his chest so that he can do it to you can also be very arousing for both of you. You don't actually have to sit right up to his face (although many men like that too - just watch you don't smother him!), just close enough so he can reach you with his mouth and with your thighs pressing lightly (or more forcefully if that works better for both of you!) on either side of his head.
Um... enough for the moment? Hot in here, isn't it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): My wife only moves periodicly. The penis remains erect by friction or touch, or is maintained by brain power, which can be difficult at times.
The up and down actually scares me that the penis will exit and she will come down on it and break it.
She uses my penis to find erotic or sensitive spots inside of her; my wife has had oragasms in this method. A woman on top is in complete control, and it is for her pleasure, just as the missionary position is for the man's main pleasure (for me anyways).
When she has had enough in the top position, she will help pull me up, she will rap her legs around me, and while I am still inside of her, will reposition ourselves to the missionary position so that I can finish for my pleasure.
Find a good time to discuss feelings of the sexual experience. This will bring you both together closer, and make the act less stressful and more pleasurable.
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A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil +, writes (1 May 2008):
 Backwards and forwards - well, that's just about it apart from just a little fine detail.
Assuming you're facing him - when you've gone backwards - ie. downwards onto him and are about to come up again, tighten your pelvic floor muscles as if you're trying to stop yourself from peeing and slowly move forwards until his tip is just on the point of popping out, then release your grip and drop back down quite quickly. Repeat the process ad infinitum. At the same time you can hang your boobs in his face, perhaps dangling your nipples around his lips for him to have a quick suck.
Alternatively you could straddle him on your knees facing his feet, but leaning backwards, then sink onto him and slide your pelvis back and forth as well as slightly up and down. A sort of circular motion when viewed side-on. You might have toput the palms of your hand behind you on his chest to aid your balance and take some of the pressure off your knees. Get this right and you'll be able to stimulate your 'G' spot at the same time. Be very careful not to let it pop out as it'll be difficult to put back in without a bit of contortion on your part.
Either way, when he claws at the mattress you know you've achieved your aim.
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