A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17 and I've just started going out with my boyfriend who is 19. The thing is I am about as unexperienced as it gets. We kissed last Saturday and have done since but I don't think he knows that it was my first kiss. He said I was really good actually (sorry just thought I would boast a little). The thing is I'm having problems with good old peer pressure. He hasn't pressured me at all and has told me that he would never rush me because he knows I am crushingly shy when it comes to that kind of thing. The thing is, I'm perfectly happy with just making out but it's only a matter of time until we will have to move it up a level and to be honest I'm really scared because I don't have a clue what I'm doing when it comes to foreplay. Help! I'm going to be really crap I know it. Can anyone tell me any stories that might help?
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crush, foreplay, shy Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys! I'm so grateful for your advice, this is the first question I have posted (I seem to be having a lot of firsts lately) and its such an awesome feeling to get help off people who don't know me. It's really useful too as it is unbiased. And it really makes sense too, I know that you are both right. I'm so grateful :) THANK YOU!!!!!!
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (6 July 2007):
 I agree with everything Penta has said, sex does not have to be some fumble and it's over ,it's something you should both cherish and enjoy.
Talk to each other tell each other what you like and dislike' just take it all one step at a time and have fun because thats what it is about.
Try not to get too nervous about it, just relax and go with the flow when you are good and ready.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (6 July 2007):
 Okay, first of all, you don't HAVE to move it up a level. Do only what you're comfortable with. Your body your rules. You're worth the wait, and taking it slowly is worth it for you too.
Second, make sure you're safe. (Condoms, birth control, etc.)
Now, here's the easy part. ALL of us were beginners at one point, and some guys find that part really sexy. Don't pretend to know more than you know, and be willing to laugh at your own mistakes.
Rule of thumb: if it hurts, make him stop. If he says "ow" then you stop.
Keep the communication open. The best relationships are the ones where you can tell him EXACTLY what feels good, and he can do the same for you. DON'T expect him to read your mind, and don't let him expect that from you. You can always ask "how does this feel?" He should be asking you this too, unless it's beautifully obvious that you're enjoying yourself.
And make sure there is laughter during the process. Relax and play.
This is a journey. Have fun at all the stops. Don't be in such a rush to get there. It'll happen. And you'll learn how to have fun along the way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): dont worrie about it everyone is like that when it comes to their first time mine was a big disaster and i laff about it now i once said to this lad "are you finished yet" lol i only said that because i was so nervouse and couldnt enjoy it as much now the worst part is over i used to have sex with my boyfriend everynight, if your boyfriend said he wont rush you, trust him, just wait untill you are ready and feel relaxed around him then you can take things further let me know how you get on good luck x x
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A
female
reader, lolwhite72 +, writes (6 July 2007):
hellooo, im new to this site but i sort of no what im doing lol.to be honest there is nothing for you to worry about. the thought of foreplay is much more worrying to think of doing than actually doing it.you will no what you are doing. i thought exactly the same but when i first done it but it went really well and things happen as you go along. anyway like you said...you snogged a boy for your first time and that went well didnt it? i hope that helps you out a bit...and no one can really be crap at that sort of thing. write back lauren x x good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Agony Aunt Saskia +, writes (6 July 2007):
I no exactly how you feel, everyone has been there at some point. You have so many feelings going on at the moment and you will feel the pressure but the only person putting on the pressure is you! When the time is right to move forward you will know, your brain won't do the thinking your body will!. Please don't be worried about whether your good or not at anything sexual becuase there is no way you can do it wrong, it's impossible as everyone is different. If your really nervous ask your boyfriend to tell you whether he's enjoying himself or not and visa verser, it will help you not to be as nervous in future. Personally i think the main things are to relax, go with the flow and make sure you have had a shower! :-)
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