A
male
age
18-21,
Bigbowser2
writes:Hey, Im 17, Ive always called myself Bi but tend to fancy Guys much more kinda accepted the fact that Im Gay. I met this amazing guy, not been with him for a really long amount of time but im seeing him next in two days. I know that its probably me but I feel like hes bothering with me less and less each day. I know that I have a problem with being Clingy. I had an ex who cheated on me multiple times, right after telling me he loved me. Told me it was my fault that he cheated and made me out to be the one that caused all the problems.I tend to like texting my new guy a lot and hearing from him but I try and stop myself from being clingy by not texting too much and then he comments that I havent text him all day!I know im clingy but how can I NOT be so much. This guy is so amazing and I'm terrified of losing him so soon. He's just one of these people who suddenly clicked and Ive not felt this way about another guy.He also lives about 40 mins away by car. He can drive and im learning so the distance isnt really a problem - but do you think this might be something to do with it?I just get upset when I dont get a text on his lunch hour and things like this. Im sure this is because of how i am but I dont like feeling like it all the time and I dont want to scare him off. Its Valentines today, I know hes at work at the moment but I haven't heard from him since i went to sleep last night. Any help would be much appreciated xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): Women usually want more than men are willing to give simply because men usually are not willing to give -all that- for some reason. I believe it's because if they feel they must text you or call you often they are will stop being the free individuals they like being. In other words, they like to have their cake and to eat it too. Or they just don't want to do what it takes to keep her. Oh yes, they know what it takes to get it going, but after they know they've got you they run away quickly.
Get away and find someone that is good for you. If he's mature enough and if he likes you enough he will return if you stop contacting him.
Good luck and remember this happens to many women.
A
male
reader, Bigbowser2 +, writes (15 February 2007):
Bigbowser2 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey, thanks for your advice. We were having a great chat tonight and I managed to talk to him about how my ex made me feel and he understood completly which made me feel a lot better about myself. I didnt meantion the fact that I felt he was bothering with me less because I know I can come to some drastic conclusions on my own before knowing the facts, which isnt really something Im proud of.
Where you said that yes he might hurt me and vice versa was a bit of an eyeopener, found that helpful actually, like you say I can only do my best :) I think i can beat this paranoid or clingy problem as long as I just be sensible and understand him and his needs and personality. Thanks for your help :)
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A
female
reader, cd206 + ♥, writes (15 February 2007):
 I think everyone goes through a stage of clinginess and in your case it's all down to you feeling insecure about your past relationship but it'd be such a shame to let one bad relationship ruin all your future ones. Trying to declingify is like trying to give up an addiction in a lot of ways. When you want to call/ text/email your guy but feel that doing so might make you look over clingy try telling yourself you'll contact him in ten minutes and when the ten minutes is up tell yourself you'll wait another ten until a suitable amount of time has passed for it not to appear overbearing. Trust your new boyfriend. Yes he might hurt you. Equally you might hurt him. What you need to know is that there are no guarantees with relationships. All we can do is our best and just hope that's good enough.
CD
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