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He always chats to me, is he interested?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

So my initial reaction and gut feeling has been that he's not interested but because of some of my friend's advice I'm a little confused and would like to ask you all.

I met this man a month ago and have met him 4 times now - twice chatting in the staff room and twice a lot of conversation over a group meal. He is leaving in January btw.

I liked him after meeting him twice so I had my friend ask him if he liked me to which he replied "I hadn't really thought about it like that, I've only met her twice". I took this to mean he wasn't into me but my friend said feelings for someone take time (I don't think I agree).

When I tried making conversation over messenger he chatted back well for a while but then eventually just dropped the ball. I also took this to mean he wasn't interested.

BUT, he does always chat to me when he sees me and invited me to walk with him to the shop the other day.

What do you think? Thanks

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (13 October 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt sounds like he is being friendly. The whole asking your friend to get involved makes it sound like you are a teenager in love. Honestly I agree with him, he has only met you a couple of times so it really is not long enough to catch feelings for someone. Also you are all adults so if you like him then ask him out for coffee. But if I am being honest it is probably a bad idea to start dating a co-worker and even if he was interested if he is leaving in January is there even a future for you both?

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A female reader, malvern United Kingdom + , writes (13 October 2017):

malvern agony auntI think he's just being friendly towards you and thats the best way to keep it and don't look into it any deeper than that. When he leaves in January you will soon find out if he's interested enough to keep in touch with you. Just leave things well alone and don't be so impatient. If there is going to be a friendship, or a romance, these things take time to develop anyway. Don't expect anything and that way you won't get hurt.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2017):

You asked your friend to ask another adult if they like you?.... I think he's being nice. Maybe your not quite mature enough for a relationship.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (12 October 2017):

N91 agony auntAs honeypie said, he knows you like him and he hasn't done anything about it.

There's your answer.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI think he is being friendly and I think you NEED to stop involving your "friend" in this. You are not in 3rd grade where you ask your friend to ask some boy. OK?

He definitely knows you are interested but has NOT made any moves to ask you out. So my guess is he either HAS a GF/partner or he isn't as keen as YOU are.

Either way, he is a coworker (whether he leaves in January or not) so keep it professional.

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