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*arriedtwokids

United Kingdom  (Male   XML/RSS

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*arriedtwokids's profile:

I have been in a strong long term relationship for 20 years and married for 15 of them (with some inevitable ups and downs). I have two great kids.

So, as you can guess I will not be in a good position to give much advice to teenagers or those who start "I have been with my girlfriend/boyfriend for 3 months and I fancy her/his best mate" etc, but I might have some useful thoughts on other topics!

Marriage was great until I had a baby, now I don't love him any more!

Q.   I've been with my husband for 8 years now and we have a beautiful little girl. I've loved him almost since we met, but since the birth of our daughter my feelings for him have completely changed. I don't know if its the change of having a child to ...

A.   27 October 2008: This sort of post depresses the hell out of me, as a man, because good family men get ripped apart in these scenarios more than the many selfish idiots you hear about on this site exactly because they are good family men and invest a huge part of ... (read in full...)

I have noticed his sex drive has decreased. What is the probelm?

Q.   My husband is 52 yrs old and i am 44 yrs old, we got married 9 yrs ago. For the past few yrs. I have noticed his sex drive has decreased. We used to be intimate twice a week and now is once or twice a month. As a women I take care of myself and ...

A.   25 October 2008: It just sounds like he is getting older and the decline is just a natural progression. Its not like he's suddenly stopped. Give the guy a break, he's told you himself its nothing to do with your weight gain and its down to age - he is 55 and not ... (read in full...)

I know its wrong, but the idea of taking away everything but his life is giving me a high.

Q.   My question may seem strange but please answer honestly I really want to stop but I can't. Hi i'm 27 and I have been having an affair with a married woman I met at work. She is a year older than me and has 1 child. We seemed to click straight...

A.   25 October 2008: First impressions of your post set my BS detectors working overtime: are you for real or are you hoping to get some poor guys to actually answer your question in order to fuel your w*** fantasies? OK, lets assume you are for real and your problem ... (read in full...)

Should I risk my marriage by coming clean or should I just keep my mouth shut?

Q.   I have been married for almost 20 years, most of it happily. I have relatively few complaints. Life has been good. About a month ago, I attended a work related social event without my husband. Things got rather friendly with a female co-worker and ...

A.   19 September 2008: Well, I cannot say I have been in a similar position, but the "standard" pragmatic advice is if you are pretty sure your husband will not find out, and you are sure it won't happen again and you want the marriage to continue, then do not tell. ... (read in full...)

I refused to continue my affair with a married man, as I don't want to be hoodwinked again (I am also married) - did I do the right thing?

Q.   Hi, Please tell me I have done the right thing? Some years ago I had an affair with a married man. We were both married at the time. After a few months it ended and it took me time to get over it. Recently after 6 years he contacted me and ...

A.   18 September 2008: Thanks for the additional detail. I am not sure what more I can advise. All I know is that no matter how much we love our partners, there is always going to be someone else we will meet who seems to be better looking, sexier, a more skillful... (read in full...)

I refused to continue my affair with a married man, as I don't want to be hoodwinked again (I am also married) - did I do the right thing?

Q.   Hi, Please tell me I have done the right thing? Some years ago I had an affair with a married man. We were both married at the time. After a few months it ended and it took me time to get over it. Recently after 6 years he contacted me and ...

A.   16 September 2008: OK, you did the right thing by avoiding this man, but there is a big long term problem - you are not happy with your marriage. The telling phrase is "I try and avoid sex with my husband at any cost and this was way before my ex lover contacte... (read in full...)

What can I do to keep everyone happy?

Q.   I split from my ex partner 7 years ago after she had an affair.We have three children 12,11 and 9.i have now been married to a wonderful caring woman for the last 2 years(5years in total) she has an 11 year old daughter with no contact with her ...

A.   9 July 2008: First things first - get yourself a good lawyer, and I mean a really good lawyer, because the worst case scenario is that this is the start of a campaign to squeeze you out of your children's life using these kind of accusations. Sorry to sound li... (read in full...)

How can I convince him that we will still be our children's parents, after we split?

Q.   I am in the process of getting a divorce and my husband just wont let go. We have two kids, 6 and 3. When he was a baby his mom didn't make all the right decisions, so now he thinks that it will be the end of the world for our kids too, and is tryi...

A.   7 May 2008: Look, at this point in time he is feeling his life is over. Don't get me wrong, I'm passing no judgements here. I am just trying to give you a guy perspective and I think that would apply, to a greater or lesser extent, for most men. Men, or rather ... (read in full...)

Can I get pregnant if my partner had a vasectomy done?

Q.   Can I get pregnant even when my partner had a vasectomy 8 years ago? He did not go back for any tests??...

A.   30 April 2008: Unlikely. If you are looking to get pregnant, then it may be possible to reverse it and you should talk to your doctor about it. However....and I am sorry that this is going to sound very cynical, but I really hope you are not looking for a line t... (read in full...)

She's due out of jail soon and is claiming to have "found the Lord". She wants to come home... should I take her back?

Q.   Briefly as I can: situation I am 58, ex is 42. She is in jail {6 months} and will be getting out soon. I was married 20 years 1 [15 year old daughter] left. This woman has stole credit cards, bank checks over the 20 years amounting to $100,000 ...

A.   29 February 2008: The issue is not whether you are stupid to love her, the question is what you should do when she comes out. She may have genuinely found religion. She may be genuinely remorseful. On the other hand I am afraid she may be spinning you a line bec... (read in full...)

How can we rekindle the romance under the pressure of financial stress??

Q.   What should I do? First, I can't believe I'm writing about my situation. I've always felt I could deal with my marriage without outside help, although I've been to marriage/sex therapy 12 years ago. I've been married for 18 years now. Boy how time...

A.   13 February 2008: There appears to be two inter-related problems: money and intimacy. Firstly money. You say you are an entrepreneur. I have no idea what that means in practical terms in this case. Maybe you work very hard 16 hours a day 7 days a week. Maybe you... (read in full...)

Sometimes I find myself seeking a better match...what should I do??

Q.   Is the selfish option, the right option? I have a loving husband who is ideal in many ways. Aquantances, work colleagues, friends and family all sing his praises as someone totally fabulous - and they say I am very lucky. To others though, w...

A.   8 February 2008: I am the “anonymous” poster returning to this again. Why am I returning to this problem? I guess because I was moved by your response. I am sad that you have clearly tried to address the issues in your marriage along the lines I suggeste... (read in full...)

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