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What's his game does he want me or not?

Tagged as: Faded love, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 December 2007)
A female , *eanne writes:

I met a fantastic guy in june last year which i fell for. It was going really well and after six weeks his friends were asking me questions about where the relationship was going. I confronted him to which he replied that he was not looking for a relationship. I was a little annoyed that he did not tell me from the start but accepted it.

After two weeks from splitting up he text me asking if we were ok. I was very surprised at this but text back. After that i realised that i still really liked him and every couple of weeks i gave him text to see how he was getting on because from our relationship we had built up a mutual friendship.

After one drunken slip up in town i invited him back to mine. This was a mistake because i knew that he didn't want anything. A couple of weeks went by and he drunkenly text me to come back to mine one night, i told him no and we had an arguement.

He told me that he doesn't want to hurt me but also confessed to being hurt in a previous relationship to which she had ended it with no explanation. This relationship however ended just over two years ago.

October came and we some how ended up back together. From my part i felt that most of the times the shutters were down, he never told me his feelings at all but often had a feeling that he did have feelings for me. However during the beginning of january he began to feel very, very distant and he told me that we should not see each other anymore in that way but he still wanted to be friends.

From that point however i now receive a text message from him at least every two weeks calling me gorgeous and asking how i am and what i'm up to. I understand that he was hurt before but this is dragging on now. I've tried to understand him but don't get much response apart from 'i know my head is in the shed'.

I'm struggling to understand why he continues to text me after we called it all off. He knows that i have feelings for him but i just feel as if he's keeping me dangling on a piece of string for when he's ready. Our relationship is fantastic when we are together i just don't understand what he wants from me. Does he like me? Is he playing games with me?

View related questions: drunk, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007):

I hate to say it but he's using you. I had the same problem, i'd known this bloke for 10 years and he told me that he's always fancied me (knowing i fancied him) so we got together, he then said that he didn't want anything and we should stay friends so I left it at that. But i noticed the only time he texted me was when he wanted something ansd stupid me went back, because i thought he really did like me.

Later i met someone who really cared for me and we're still together, when this bloke text me i told him not interested becuase i had someone else and was happy - he turned nasty. I don't speak to him now because he showed his true colours.

Try going out and meeting soneone that deserves you, by the sound of it your too goo for him.

You have to kiss alot of frogs to get to your prince.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007):

i know its very hard im in a similiar suituation myself i its all very easy for people to say he is using you but like me you are probably thinking that he does have feelings for you.its very hard but if its ment to be it will be i have stopped crying over it we were last together on sat night and for the 3rd time he ended it saying no contact and we have to stop doing this bla bla bla.i knpw he will contact me again in a few weeks but it doesnt hurt this time.all i can say is if this is for you it wont pass you by and we just have to leave it to fate .

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A female reader, LaurenSiddall +, writes (31 March 2006):

hes not worth it. he using you. i know you have strong feelings for him and this seems impossible to take in. but stop worrying about him and get out there and find a decent man

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (31 March 2006):

tux agony auntIt sounds like you are being played as a yo-yo. You should step back from this and realize what's happening. You deserve better than being led on.. unless of course everything else cancels that stuff out.

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A female reader, lisa_01 Australia +, writes (31 March 2006):

lisa_01 agony aunti think this game he is playing is somewhat very cruel, i hate to say this but i get this feeling he may just be using you for sex and some flirting,its like he wants all the fun with no strings attached. i think you should stop replying to his text messages, don't send him messages asking how he is, don't answer his calls you need to just stop all communications with him so he gets the point that your wanting some time apart and you don't want to be strung along like that, if neither of you are going to keep to the orginal plan of not seeing each other anymore nothing is going to change or get better, he can't expect you to just be there for him whenever he feels like it, its not his choice and you need to re-enforce this to him by showing your not weak and your not going to give in to him when it suits him,good luck.

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