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He keeps promising he isn't going to lie and every time he breaks that promise!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi there, I have a little problem, could you pease help me with it if you can?

I'm almost 16 and in a relationship with a guy who I really love. like I say, I really love him, but theres just one problem... recently, I've found out that he's lied to me about a lot of things, and kept stuff from me ever since we have been going out. He keeps promicing to me (and swearing on his baby nieces life) that he will never ever lie to me about anything from me again, and also that he will not keep anything from me. This has been said around 3-4 times to me, and each time he has broken that promise, once again. Knowing that he has lied to me about so many things and kept so many things from me is making me insecure, and making me wonder what else he can be lying about. It isnt that I don't trust him, but more like I do not know whether to believe him or not when he tells me things or when I might ask him something. I have tried for so long to conquer these feelings but it just keeps getting worse. Any time I get the slightest bit insecure about anything, my boyfriend tells me to not be so insecure, but he doesnt really understand that it is him that has started them with the lying.

What do I do? Do I finish with him for all the lies and what he has kept from me? Or do I try and live with all the lies he tells me? Or have you got a better solution? Plese help me, I'm desperate. This is my last chance to save my relationship.

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A female reader, Danielle934 +, writes (30 March 2006):

Danielle934 agony auntYou need to go ahead and end it. Yes you may love him a lot, but love isn’t everything. There are women who love their man who hits them all the time. Believe me from personal experience, if it bothers you enough to ask people for advice on this website then you need to dump him. Lying is a serious issue! You may say you trust him now, but down the road (after many more of his lies) that trust is sure to vanish, and you will find that you are slowly falling out of love with him. If you truly do love him now, then tell him you are breaking up with him to help both of you. Tell him he needs to find out when you are in a loving relationship lies can destroy it.

Remember the longer you stay with him, the longer you are letting him know that it is okay to lie because he CAN get away with it!

Hope this helps!

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A male reader, d4u04 United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2006):

d4u04 agony auntObviously the lies and paranoia and stuff are eating away at you and this really isn't healthy. If you can't trust what he says is the truth anymore then end it chick because relationships are based on trust and without that you don't have a relationship anyway. You say that you love him so it's going to be hard but this is a time when you need to lean on your best friends and get through it together. Someone will always be there to listen and help, and by all means have a cry and get it out of your system instead of bottling up your feelings but try not to dwell on it too long before moving on.

Good luck x

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