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How to give better advice..

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 November 2009: This is a follow-up to my article on "how to get good advice" located at This time I am going to delve into the area on how to give good or better advice to those who are seeking it. ...

Playing with Statistics of Chance

No replies yet...

21 March 2009: After reading a lot of "What are my chances.." type questions, I figured I'd delve into the little aspect of statistics of chance. A guy named Aaron Levenstein once said, "Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they ...

How to get good advice?

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

26 February 2009: You ask for someone's advice and expect to get good advice back, what do you do? You tell them your story and expect to get a good response back. Do you always get it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. There are a variety of steps you need to consider to ...

Do these boots make my butt look big and the lies we tell.

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 February 2009: LIES! All of us tell lies from time to time. Sometimes small innocent lies, sometimes big giant lies. Some lies save us from being yelled at by our partners and others make our partners scream at us. Why do we do it? Can we not just get by not ...

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I tested positive for HIV. I very obviously got it from my boyfriend but he's turning around and blaming me for everything!

Q.   Hello all I have a very sad story to tell and I need some advice as I am at breaking point. I have been tested HIV positive recently, and that was already really hard to deal with...I had a boyfriend and on the day I found it out, I cound't br...

A.   14 February 2012: Missy123, Sorry to break this to you but women do the exact same thing, they sleep around, get STDs and then have the NERVE to blame the men in their lives for their faults. It is not a gender-based trait, but rather a human trait. It's a scumbag ... (read in full...)

He doesn't want to celebrate V day?

Q.   is it weird that my boy friend isn't interested in celebrating on valentines ,,, you know go out ,,, he's like valentines is for kids ?by the way he's 23 ...

A.   14 February 2012: Should you really care about Valentine's Day to begin with? Especially considering the materialistic nature it now endures where in order to show someone you love them that you MUST buy them extravagant gifts. Is that the way you want someone to ... (read in full...)

Are all guys superficial?

Q.   I'm 17 this year; I'm fat but not disgustingly obese, don't have a pretty face and very self-conscious deep down. The thing is, I'm very confident and most people look at me as the hyper and bubbly one who brightens up everyone's day but inside, I ...

A.   27 June 2010: If you are looking for a guy that isn't superficial, you need to stop being superficial.. You are attracting guys, but then you go label them as "weird and scary." Perhaps you need to lower you expectations in what you think is a "decent" guy and ... (read in full...)

I accidentally told my husband's family that he abused me and now everythings messed up, how can I fix this?

Q.   Hi. My husband recently has gotten a little physcally abusive, and has forced blow jobs on my a couple of times when he was drunk.. I guess I wanted to get it off my chest, but I was just going to deal with it. I already forgave him. But then las...

A.   27 June 2010: He did in fact abuse you.. physically and sexually.. and didn't as you put it "mishandle" you. He does need counselling and you should attend it as well.. ... (read in full...)

What does a orgasm feel like?

Q.   Hi this is a question for girls only cuz i don't think guys can answer this question. Anyways i'm 13 and i have a boyfriend who's 15. And yesterday he was finger banging me but it wasn't the first time. But yesterday was different he got me ...

A.   13 December 2009: You shouldn't worry so much about sex. You are fairly young and should be careful not making mistakes along your growth... Enjoy being a kid for now.. you will have plenty of time in the future to worry about getting sexually satisfied and having ... (read in full...)

My naked neighbour!

Q.   I live next door to a young woman who walks around naked in her house. She is very fit and has every reason to be proud of her body, I guess, but she keeps the windows open for the whole neighborhood to see her. This has upset me a lot especially ...

A.   27 November 2009: If you really want to insist and play on that being naked in one's house with the blinds open is illegal, you may want to provide links to actual laws that pertain to this incident in every area. The problem with laws is that they are different ... (read in full...)

My naked neighbour!

Q.   I live next door to a young woman who walks around naked in her house. She is very fit and has every reason to be proud of her body, I guess, but she keeps the windows open for the whole neighborhood to see her. This has upset me a lot especially ...

A.   26 November 2009: I really don't think havign your neighbor closing the windows is going to help any.. I do not believe that this is really about your neighbor being naked, but the fact that you do not trust your husband and are just trying to find an excuse to be ... (read in full...)

Russian dating for beginners!

Q.   The best way to find a Russian bride to marry is to join a Russian dating service. Getting to know and communicating with have their own internet connection and are themselves looking for Western men to date with. Russian girls have already ...

A.   23 November 2009: I will say one thing about the 1 answer in this thread.. it is unfortunate that your father found a bad seed, but do keep in mind that there may still be good seeds in the bunch that truly are looking for love or just someone to be with and not ... (read in full...)

Am I over reacting if my boyfriend has a wedding on the day of my birthday and I do not want to attend?

Q.   Am I over reacting if my boyfriend has a wedding on the day of my birthday and I do not want to attend? I am not close with the couple that is getting married and my birthday is the only day out of the year that it is all about me. He gives me a ...

A.   16 November 2009: You want to know what I did my last 5 birthdays? I worked... But that's either here nor there.. I think you just need to suck it up and attend and have fun at this wedding... You don't have to celebrate your birthday on your birthday... I really ... (read in full...)

What should I do? No contact for two weeks! Should I change my facebook status to get the upper hand?

Q.   last month my boyfriend and I had a huge fight which leads to me threatening him that i will break up with him if he doesn´t change and he said ahy don´t we end it now. I was really shocked and asked him what did you say ?? he repeated what he said ...

A.   14 November 2009: you shouldn't change your status just to spite him nor to get the upperhand.. if you still love him and want to be with him, work at it and wait. if you dont want to then it is simple.. just change your status and be single.... (read in full...)

Why do men cheat? Why don't they just leave the relationship if they are unhappy?

Q.   why do men cheat? is it more likely for an older man to cheat with a younger woman? if a man is unhappy in his relationship why doesnt he just end it? im just curious about this topic, and would love for many opinions, thanks...

A.   14 November 2009: Why do women cheat? Is it more likely for a woman to cheater with a stronger or richer man? If a woman is unhappy in her relationship, why doesn't she just end it? That question can swing both ways and does.... Why do people cheat? and if they are... (read in full...)

Ever since we got really drunk one night and had sex, he'!s been acting weird

Q.   So my best guy friend and I got really drunk and had sex one night. He doesn't remember a thing, but ever since then he's been acting weird. Before I go any further I think I should give some background information: Before the sex, we were a...

A.   14 November 2009: Sex changes things... you can make believe that it doesn't, but it does... sometimes for good sometimes for bad... but often things will never go back to what it was... You may just need this stage of his to pass by through. I'm not sure bringing it ... (read in full...)

Should I be alarmed by the timing of her personal grooming?

Q.   I am a 44 y/o male engaged to a 42 y/o woman...we have been together for 1.5 yrs., our relationship has had it's ups and downs, however, we profess our commitment to each other. She seems to wear her ring with pride. Although, lately we have been in ...

A.   10 November 2009: Mmm Parry Noidal.... I would say that you may be getting paranoid about her being away from you for so long and so far away.. But if she normally never grooms herself like that, then I'd worry more than if she usually grooms herself like that ... (read in full...)

Is this an online romance or am I over-reacting?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 7 years, but been together since we were teens. Only been with each other. She is very conservative and not at all into cheating ever. Very honest and pure. A Christian. Recently, she started playing an onli...

A.   10 November 2009: a lot of times people will detach from their normal lives for their virtual self, but that does not justify performing what is emotional cheating in their real life even if it is in jest in their virtual versions of themselves. i think you just... (read in full...)

Hubby watches women live on their web cams and chats with them - is this cheating?

Q.   Hi everyone, I was hoping for a bit of advice on the subject of the boundries between porn, and cheating. I would especially appreciate a male perspective, although all answers are welcome. The problem is this. My husband, as like a lot o...

A.   9 November 2009: I will say the cheating aspect will need to be determined on the content of their chats. It could very well be innocent friendly chatting but then again I'm most likely to conclude it is the emotional cheating aspect of cheating and seeking out ... (read in full...)

Guys, what is your favourite position?

Q.   What do guys like best sex wise? Any special posistion? ...

A.   9 November 2009: doggy style is too much work.. but i guess i'm just boring... missionary or woman on top..... (read in full...)

He wants a threesome with a woman I don't feel comfortable including! He's making me feel guilty!

Q.   My boyfriend and i participate in swing lifesome. We are not regulars but we have had 3 FFM, 3somes, Attempted about 8 MFM 3somes, not all sucessful, only to out of the 3 MFM have been successful, not all was done in them but some things happened ...

A.   9 November 2009: Well i guess it's collateral damager when you are engaging in threesomes.. you need to realize that he may not have been comfortable with every guy you included in the MFM threesomes you have had. But if you are really that uncomfortable then you ... (read in full...)

Should I continue with the 22 year old or with the 15 year old?

Q.   Hi cupid, am a young guy of very grateful to been with you here. my question is just relationship question. i met this girl on the internet about three months ago, she's from Philippine and am from Nigeria. she's the same age with me. i love ...

A.   9 November 2009: It would be a mistake to focus on the 15 year old, she is too young and still needs to grow up and make up her mind which she may change according to what her friends or magazines say. There is nothing wrong with being with someone your own age. I'm ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with roommate temperature problems?

Q.   So I have a roommate who likes it cold and don't get me wrong I like it cool too, but she likes to keep it at 65 degrees Fahrenheit or below with 2 or 3 fans on in our dorm room and the window open even when it's snowing/blizzarding out. I've ...

A.   9 November 2009: just be thankful, she likes it cold, rather then hot at 100 degrees. you can always wear more clothes to keep warm, but you can only remove so much to keep cool. but besides talking to her or trying to get into a different room theres not much more ... (read in full...)

My friend is pregnant - father unknown!

Q.   ok i have a friend, and yes its actually a friend. im trying to help her out. ok so shes fifteen. shes pregnant. but..... she doesnt know who the father is. she doesnt want to know who the father is. does she have to take a d.n.a. test or is that ...

A.   8 November 2009: She does not have to take a DNA test, it's up to her unless a court orders it, but without a "father" pressing for it, which i doubt, I don't see many courts pressing the matter. Although, if an adult is a possible father and he lands in trouble for ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if a girl is as horny as me?

Q.   hi, im 13 and i love masterbating. but see everyone at school knows i do it and i cant get a girlfriend and i want to have sex really bad. know one at my school is sexually interested as me can yall help me any tips on my subject matter just ...

A.   7 November 2009: I think marriedlady hit the nail on the head.. You should wait and until your teen years without the sex. Yes sex can feel great, but it's consequences and after effects can be less desireable. If you do find yourself having sex, please do wear ... (read in full...)

Is it a sin to love your first cousin?

Q.   it is sin to love my first cousin? dear cupid, i had a first cousin, love at first sight,,he courts me, jan.26,2009,when i told him that i love him so much.. and he love me also.. apr.26,2009,we decided to have sex. we love each othe...

A.   7 November 2009: Well according to some, "loving" your cousin is a sin... just as having sex with them, but then again having sex outside of marriage is also considered a sin... In the Philippines(your flag), it is illegal for first cousins to marry, so in a sense ... (read in full...)

My self esteem is suffering because my girlfriend won't have sex with me!

Q.   Hi. I have a girlfreind, before she was my best friend for 4 years. She means the world to me, and i seriously mean, she has given me a reason to live. we were together for 9 months and broke up a week and back together for a month, so 10 months in ...

A.   7 November 2009: I'm not going to focus on the having sex part, that is minor compared to everything else you have mentioned.. A) she won't let you meet her family and gives the excuse that her mom would be upset because she is the baby of the family... Keep in ... (read in full...)

Am I a normal girlfriend?

Q.   please dont be rude or get me wrong yeah but this is what i think. when some girls have a bf, they would always wanna be with him, text him and call him non stop.. always want to know, where he is who hes with and what hes doing. And they alw...

A.   7 November 2009: well back in the day, it would be improper for a girl to call a guy... things have changed :P but well.. I wouldn't say having a girl calling a guy nonstop and txting or what not is a bad thing... it is only bad if she is constantly thinking or ... (read in full...)

I want to have sex on the prom night, what do you think?

Q.   I want to have sex on prom night. And just b/c i'ts prom night. I can and i probably will. My b/f is sweet and hot and prom is the perfect time to do it. What do you think? He's coming from out of town and i wanna make it special. any tips t...

A.   6 November 2009: If you think you are ready, then go for it.. But keep in mind just because it is prom, doesn't mean you have to have sex. Also, make sure you use birth control and include condoms with that as well unless you feel you' are ready for the conseque... (read in full...)

Twice I had unprotected sex. Am I pregnant?

Q.   help! ok soo me and my boyfriend broke up a few days ago. but just last weekend, i slept over and we had unprotected sex twice that night and again in the morning. i usually get my period from the 10th to the 12th of each month. its the 5th now. soo ...

A.   6 November 2009: 6 days ago would have put you at the tail end of your "fertile period" for whatever that is worth, but then again anytime you have unprotected sex, pulling out or not, increases your odds of becoming pregnant. only way to tell for sure is a ... (read in full...)

Violent ex tricked me. Will this hurt me in court?

Q.   My ex was arrested the following night of him attacking me. It was my friend who rang the police luckily she was there when he got in my flat, and pulled a knife on me. He wrecked my flat too, his bail conditions meant that he wasnt to come near me ...

A.   6 November 2009: i doubt you have problems with it because after all he pulled a knife on you which should have been a sign to avoid him to begin with. but if you want to be more certain, talk to a lawyer about it.... (read in full...)

How can I get condoms discretely?

Q.   i'm only 13 years old and my girlfriend want us to have sex and i said i wont do it until we have a condom. she said she cant get one. i want to know a way to get a condom with out my parents finding out and not having to be imbaressed at the store...

A.   5 November 2009: Personally, condoms or no condoms I do not think you should be having sex... Only have sex when you are ready to face the consequences having having sex, mainly being a baby. Condoms are great at preventing pregnancies, but they do not always work ... (read in full...)

How do I get her to stop her accusations?

Q.   I have been dating this young lady for 3 or 4 months that I have started to have feelings for. But the problem that I am currently having with her is for the past month and a half or so, she constantly accuses me of cheating EVERY WEEK!! This only ...

A.   5 November 2009: The only way to stop this is a) forget about her and move on... or b) take her everywhere with you 24/7.. even when you goto the bathroom and take a shower... You can try to talk to her about it, but short of having her goto therapy, I don't th... (read in full...)

When we did it it, he didn't get his thing all the way in. Could I still be pregnant?

Q.   Im 13 right now and im so scared about if im pregnate...i know i shoudnt of had sex and i know i should have used a condom, but i didnt think of has been almost 12 weeks and i dont physicaly feel different but i cant get this out of my he...

A.   5 November 2009: short answer is yes. long answer is that you could be, but odds are fairly low unless he did ejaculate with what he did have in you. if you dont want a child yet, dont have sex and more importantly, dont have unprotected sex.... (read in full...)

Is this incest?

Q.   Ok, Im 19.. I have a 21 year old sister who has a boyfriend at the age of 35.. He has a nephew at the same age as me! We have been talking for a while and my sister found out and her and her boyfriend tried to set us up... My sister an her bo...

A.   3 November 2009: No it is not incest... not even close... now if your sister's boyfriend is your cousin, then that may be closer.. but if not, then there is no family tie other than your family marrying into their family.. ... (read in full...)

I lied to my date about basic info

Q.   I'm new to the whole online dating scene but I figure why not give it a shot. I'm a very personal person and I did not want to reveal that much information about myself in case I do not like the guy. So I chatted with this guy online and he wa...

A.   3 November 2009: Sorry, but you need to come clean on this... Though I can understand your concern, but first name and age isn't that big of a thing that many people can find info on unless you have a very uncommon name. then you can just use a short deriative... ... (read in full...)

He says he loves me but is chatting to girls online!

Q.   ive been in this relationship for two years now-one of which my boifriend was in the states. he'd tell me he loved me and everything, but after he came back we continued on like he never left. after a while i got ahold of him email addresses and ...

A.   2 November 2009: Yes I will call this cheating.. and I don't believe this guy is good for you.. He wants to date you along with other people.. after all he is 31 and you are 16. I have my doubts that he is being sincere. http:... (read in full...)

Why do boys prefer skinny gals? And how do I get them to like me?

Q.   no boys like me. ok, maybe there is someone and im just overlooking them, but if i did look at them, they are the worst possible. all the hot guys prefare stick-insect girls. im not fat. but im not a stick insect! im not ugly! i no im not because ...

A.   2 November 2009: There is a saying where I come from... Pot meet Kettle.. It sounds like you are doing the same as these "hot" guys.. You are basing things just by how they look.. They are overlooking you just as you are overlooking others. I'm not saying you should ... (read in full...)

How do I change my mom's mind?

Q.   im 16 and want my tongue pierced soooo bad! but my mom says no cuz its "trashy". 2 questions, how do i get her to change her mind and is it really trashy for a girl to have a tongue piercing? thanks! lovee, Laceyyy....

A.   2 November 2009: Personally, I would say you are better off without the tongue peircing.. I really see no use, cosmetically or physically. Now, the question is do you want it because you really want it or do you want it to follow a trend? If you want it to follow a ... (read in full...)

He's 31..I am almost 17! Could he get in trouble for dating me?

Q.   im 16 and ive been dating this guy for about two years i love him with all my heart and so does he, we have been through so much together but theres one problem he's 15 years older than me which makes him 31(im turing 17 in a few days though.) is ...

A.   2 November 2009: Dating and no sex, i will say no. Depending on the age of consent laws in your particular area might say differently for sex. It appears the age of consent for Guam is 16..but I'm not widely versed in law in the US nor Guam. But well as far as ... (read in full...)

Baby daddy gone bad!

Q.   Okay.. so about three months ago me and my baby's father broke up. We broke up because he didn't want to spend enough alone time with me and my son, so I often nagged about it.. After we broke up I made all of the mistakes you could possibly make, ...

A.   2 November 2009: Well, i'm sorry, but you are going to have to go on without him.. He does not sound like the greatest of guys. A) he's smoking meth which is highly illegal and is dating your 14 year old sister who is probably smoking meth with him. Not to mention ... (read in full...)

I believe I may be pregnant but part of me is unsure even after taking a pregancy test.

Q.   I believe I may be pregnant but part of me is unsure even after taking a pregancy test. The reason is very simple, the man I've been sleeping with has had a vesectomy and we use condoms. Is there any chance that this man could possible produce a ...

A.   2 November 2009: Apparently it is possible to have a child after a vesectomy.. If it was current, there can still be sperm in the tubes.... or if there was an failure in which the doctor did not do the greatest of jobs or if the tubes recanalize... google vasectomy ... (read in full...)

Working things with my ex but cut off sex, until I see a change in him, asking to much of him?

Q.   So me and my ex are working on getting back together, but i told him that we are not going to have sex until i see a definate change in him, in terms of me see that he really wants to be in a committed relationship with me he agreed, do u guys think ...

A.   1 November 2009: I'm usually against withholding of sex to get one's way, but I will say considering that you are currently not together and not in a relationship then there is no right to sex to begin with.. Of course, I am not saying that you have to say yes to ... (read in full...)

I broke up with him! Is he an abuser?

Q.   My boyfriend of four years(long distance for about 2 years, he lives in england) have just broke up because i have decided to end it after her verbally attacked me over a ridiculous reason. Here it my boyfriend is 25, lives alone pays his ...

A.   1 November 2009: I'm going to have to disagree with Minnie... both parties did used abusive language... which does not necessarily mean they are abusers in the long run. A lot of things can be said in arguments.. But I will say that using manipulative statements and ... (read in full...)

I broke up with him! Is he an abuser?

Q.   My boyfriend of four years(long distance for about 2 years, he lives in england) have just broke up because i have decided to end it after her verbally attacked me over a ridiculous reason. Here it my boyfriend is 25, lives alone pays his ...

A.   31 October 2009: I wouldn't call that a sure sign of abuse. Screaming arguments are not abuse especially considering you atogonized it by saying that you would find a new boyfriend that would support you.. And this whole argument started over boots? I would believe ... (read in full...)

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