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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My gf and I have been together for two months. It had some bad times at first, but I've realized after that first month I am deeply in love with her, but she's said I don't seem to be acting as in love as I "say I am." We are gamers so... we'll go online and spend time w/ each other each day. She talks to a bunch of ppl and always invites people to join us, while I try to focus only on her. She jokes around with them a lot, sometimes it bothers me bcuz it looks like it's flirting, but she'll get mad if I say anything about it cuz "it's a joke" so I've come to ignore it all. On the flip side, she tried to 'have fun' with some random on the game who was just asking for help, and i told him the answer to his question, but it pissed her off. She probably feels like I wouldn't do anything for her, or am putting other people above her... "my actions don't match how i feel for her," and I'd go and hurt her to help someone else... I don't understand and I feel like I'm the one who is at wrong..
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 April 2013):
 Two months together is not a lot of time in real life. And if you are just ONLINE friends, that means NOTHING. You say you are “deeply in love with her” and while I am one to fall in love quickly, even I know after a mere two months it’s not a fully fleshed out love. You still don’t’ really know her even if you are together IRL.
Having ‘bad times at first” is also not a very good sign. Relationships at first take almost no work if they are good… if there are BAD TIMES in the beginning what do you think happens when things really get hard?
So are you just ONLINE BF/GF or do you actually spend face to face time together? IF only online, when do you plan to meet?
If you are spending time “together” while gaming, that’s not really quality time together. My husband games online almost every night (yes I’m a gamer’s dream wife) and he talks to folks all the time, it’s not quality time, he’s gaming… playing his game and the folks he talks to are just fellow gamers I don’t even think he knows their real names or where most of them live.
It seems like all of your interaction revolves around the game. I need more info before I explain to you what’s really going on.
As for showing someone you are in love vs telling them. I have been in love a few times. I have had men love me and I’ve had men say they love me. The one who loves me more than anyone ever has ever loved me is the one who NEVER says it. He shows me he loves me. There is an interesting book called “the five languages of love” that explains that some of us use words to define love, some use gifts, some use acts of service or time… figuring out how to show your partner you love them depends on how they interpret love signs.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (23 April 2013):
There's no possible way you're "deeply" in love with her.
First and foremost have you met her in person? If not, how far away do you live from each other? If you live far away, how do you plan on having a real relationship?
If this is not a long distance thing then I'd recommend breaking up with her. There's no reason why a two month old relationship should be having difficulties unless you guys simply aren't compatible (and you're not aside from gaming).
Since you probably won't break up with her on my advice, you have to start doing things that make her feel like your relationship is special. Playing games won't cut it, since there's a million other guys playing the same games ready to pounce on her. Take her on dates, get her nice little presents (not expensive), etc. You have to do things that help your relationship grow or she'll quickly get tired of you.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (23 April 2013):
 Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but things are unlikely to get any better because this girl sounds manipulative and selfish. It's one rule for her and another for everyone else - including you. So she can flirt with people online but you're "not acting as in love as you say you are". It's a good idea to take things nice and slowly, and questioning someone's love after two months is not healthy. Also, the first few months are when everything is lovely and everyone is happy, so if you were having problems in the first month, that is a very bad sign. Do you know each other well in real life or is your relationship based around gaming? If I had a boyfriend who was acting that way I'd be gone by now. Don't be a fool for someone who only cares about her own feelings.
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