A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My father in law is always staring at me and gives me long hugs where I feel he tries to get a grab. I've told my fiancé I don't feel comfortable being alone with his dad so he really tries to stick around. Yesterday though they were both outside and his dad came in and told me he had to tell me something, but that I had to keep it a secret. He said that I was driving him crazy. I asked why and he said he didn't know but he was always thinking of me. I told him that he needed to snap out of it because he is like a father to me I told him to take his wife out more often. He explained that they couldn't be intimate so I told him to see a therapist. I told him to take me out of his head and he said he would try...idk what to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2013): OMG! And think this when you children, a daughter and she turns into a teenager and grandpa is coming on to her too!
Yes, tell your fiance what dirty thoughts his old man is having about you.
He has probably had affairs on his poor wife. I feel sorry for this whole family having a husband and father acting like this. How awful.
I'd cease all contact with this man. Any future children you have too. Never let yourself or any children be alone with him. He can't be trusted.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (21 February 2013):
 Creeper mccreeperton is his name? Good for u in telling him to see a therapist lol cos thats the truth. Seems to me he cant control himself. Your fiancee needs to have a serious talk with him n his mother. The mother needs to kno bc hes lusting after other women prob bc their sex life is bad.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (21 February 2013):
Next time your father in law to be ask you to speak with him. Bring your phone with you and record the conversation for your boyfriend to hear. That way there will be no misunderstanding of he said. No he said she said BS.
Just remember you can't make your boyfriend "choose" between you and his dad. This record conversation is to help him understand where you are coming from.
He is a creep! Once this is done stay away from him. Let your boyfriend have his relationship with his dad of his choosing.
Good Luck........you need it!
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A
female
reader, Stelladra +, writes (21 February 2013):
Don't talk to his father at all! Stay away from him from now on no matter what. Tell your fiancé what he said and make sure he hears you and takes it seriously. Tell him his father has made you so uncomfortable that you no longer want to be around him. Period. Then write down every incident that ever happens with him in future if you do come in contact with him on the off chance a restraining order is needed down the road. The part where he says he's always thinking of you worries me. If your fiancé does not take this seriously then you need to rethink marrying into this family. Because you marry into a family not just your husband. Most of all, trust that little voice inside you that tells you someone is not acting right and know you are not making a mountain out of a molehill if your fiance tells you to calm down. This does not sound healthy to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013): You did the right thing of telling him to see a therapist. This guy has no sense of boundaries so he is dangerous.one thing you should not do is to keep this a secret. Because this isn't something that affects only him and you. It affects his wife and his son too, it affects the whole family. what was his purpose for telling you his 'secret'? it can only be because he was hoping something would come of it. Either that he would feel a burden lifted (which I dont' think it did so you were right to suggest he see a therapist) or he was hoping you would reciprocate and start something with him, which is morally inappropriate and thus should not be protected as a secret.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013): I disagree with Maverick - no offense. You cannot rationalize with the man. He already sees that his behavior is wrong or he wouldn't have asked you to keep it a secret.
Definitely tell your fiancé but be aware the his Dad might come back saying 'it was a joke' 'she misunderstood' etc. etc. etc.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (20 February 2013):
Uh-oh. You're going to have to nip this in the bud. Talk to the dad first. But if you do, make sure he's not in a position to do something, so make sure you're in a public place or somewhere where other people are close by.
"I want to talk to you about this 'secret' you told me. First of all, what's the matter with you? You have a good thing going here, a nice family, a lovely son. You and your wife have intimacy problems, and the first thing you think of is to hit on your son's girlfriend? What were you thinking when you told me this? That I was just going to shove [son's name] aside and go betray him and his mom with you? Is that all what counts here? Your needs? If you man up and start behaving like a father should, as in not preying on his son's girlfriends, I'm willing to forget you ever said this. However, if you keep this up, I will tell [son's name] about this, because if you can't behave the way a respectable man should, your secret isn't one worth keeping."
If you're too afraid to drop the bomb like this, simply tell him you think he's behaving inappropriately and that you want him to stop. Then threaten if he continues to hit on you, his secret won't be a secret for long.
In any case, make it very clear you're NOT interested and that you won't let him manipulate you like this. He's testing you out, so you're going to have to be firm to get rid of him. Also, avoid him from now on and never be alone with him again after this.
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A
female
reader, Seabreezes +, writes (20 February 2013):
OMG - that is completely inappropriate. Your fiancé needs to protect you and keep you away from him. I would have your fiancé sit down and talk with your FIL about his inappropriate behaviors and let him know that if he doesn't stop, the both of you will not come around.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 February 2013):
 you tell the dirty old man that you can't keep this secret and you tell his son...
then you never are alone with him EVER.
he's inappropriate and a creep.
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