A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have quite a high sex drive, and my boyfriend has suggested that I think about buying a toy for when I'm 'in the mood' but he isn't around. I've never used toys before and although I've thought about it, I'm a bit hesitant.Sure it'd be nice to have something to use when my boyfriend's away, but I'm not sure. What are people's opinions of them? It'd be cool to hear opinions of people who weren't sure, brought one and liked it. Or maybe if you didn't like it. I'm kind of of the mind that a lump of plastic wouldn't really compare to my boyfriend, but then again I wouldn't know if I'd enjoy one unless I tried. But at the same time I do feel a bit weird about them, I'm not sure how I'd feel having one in my room, and I don't want to waste money on something I won't use.
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 I bought a vibrator years ago, it's called the bullet. I had heard about it from girl friends who used it alone and even with sex sometimes. It's a small vibrator about the size of lipstick, probably what SVC is talking about, attached to a cord that attaches it to a handheld thing to change the speed and settings.
I didn't know anything about toys and was weird about buying them but since I heard so much about this I went for it. I went to the sex shop near me and they had rows of toys, very intimidating for a newbie. I found the small purple bullet and I forget the price but pretty cheap, 20 to 30 I'd guess.
It did its job when I needed it, though admittedly it has been years since I have masturbated. It's a very simple toy and a good place to start trying. Go to a local sex shop and check out all they have.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Ah ok if he was just being helpful and you are receptive then go for it.. but again... do you bring yourself to orgasm now when he's not around?
first thing I would do is see if you can do it with your fingers..... I think vibrators do tend to make us numb to human touch and make it harder to get to the finish line so to speak..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012): OP here, to clarify, no, my bf isn't controlling or anything like that, it was just an honest suggestion because I do get very horny. ;)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Toys are great! Both when your boyfriend isn't there and when you're together. They can make it much easier and faster to orgasm, he can use it on you when he's tired, you can use it on him even if you're feeling adventurous. Definitely go for a vibrator though, not a dildo. First off, you don't want him to feel threatened by a giant lifelike thing. Second off, your sensation largely comes from your clitoris, not your vagina.
The top of the line one is called the Eroscillator. Some vibrators can make you numb, and even desensitize you to human touches over time, but this one won't. It's very expensive, but it will last you much longer (the cheap ones WILL break, sometimes very quickly), doesn't rely on batteries, and supposedly feels much better than others.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2012):
In order of how I prefer my orgasms:
oral
shower massage
fingers
pocket rocket vibrator (a bit bigger than a lipstick takes one AA battery less than 30 dollars around here)
I do not like or need penetration so I don't care about that...
To that.. I tend to use my shower massage more than anything...
DO you bring yourself to orgasm now with your fingers?
IF not I'd suggest that first...
and as long as the boyfriend's suggestion was just that "a friendly suggestion" and not a mandate or order, I'd take it in the spirit it was intended... my concern is that he's trying to mandate how you should pleasure yourself... is he controlling in other ways?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 October 2012):
 Plastic doesn't compare. But that's not the point, it's not meant to be a fulfilling substitute. It isn't, and can't ever be.
But, unless you're one of the lucky few women who can bring herself to an orgasm using no help other than your own body parts... then yeah, you might want to get a toy. In fact, you might want to get several, so you have some variation.
Sex with a real person offers variety.. A plastic toy doesn't offer much variety. Hence why you might want to get more, different sizes, different simulations.
I have 3 vibrators, one is a rabbit vibrator/dildo, the other two are primarily meant for clitoral stimulation. Some times I use several together, sometimes just one. I much prefer my shower though, if you have a hand held shower head you use the water to stimulate your clitoris. It sort of feels like getting licked.
You could also put a condom on a banana to test how a toy might feel like, if you don't want to spend money on one. Or put your phone on vibrate and test how it feels. But there are several cheap vibrators out there that you can start off with.
Toys help bring you there, so you can take the edge off when you're horny. It's much better to use a toy than to end up cheating just because you were so horny...
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A
female
reader, kay21 +, writes (2 October 2012):
I was in your position to, but I ended up buying a vibrator to see what all the fuss was about and I can say it is completely different to a guys penis it can give you so many different sensations and makes orgasming quicker then sex, they can be great fun to use as a add on to you and your partners sex life, for a begginer to sex toys I would recomend either a bullet or a vibrator of an average size and quite simple, good websites for sex toys are lovehoney or Ann summers, I hope this helps don't be scared and give it a try! Good luck
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A
female
reader, Peonysheart +, writes (2 October 2012):
 I think toys are great when your partner is unavalible. I would recommend the all time classic jack rabbit. This is a dildo that has a setting for vibration of the clitoris as well as a setting that spins the shaft of the vibrator as well. It has a total of 6settings.
The thing about useing toys is haveing a imagination. Fantasys you can play out in your head will help you achieve your goal.
Hope this helps, best wishes.
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