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Long distance relationship and I can't keep the closeness feeling

Tagged as: Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 November 2021) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2021)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

This is so obvious a problem, that I should

know how to deal, but Covid and all the isolation, etc. has so blunted my feelings that I'd like to ask for help.

Basically, my boyfriend has been working 1,000 miles away for several years now, and even bought a house there. We visit, but just as I'm feeling close again it ends. For various reasons, including job, I can't move there.

So, where is this going? I met someone recently

who I'm incredibly attracted to, but I keep

my distance. If it weren't for my bf, I would

jump into bed with this guy in a second.

What should I do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2021):

You are single. Your boyfriend has not got engaged to you or asked you to, nor to marry you not to live with you, you owe him nothing. He does not get to own you and have any sort of hold over you when he offers you so little. At the same time you would be stupid to dump him, as a single woman you can see anyone you want when you want, one two three or dozens of guys if you want. Date other guys if you want but don't give up your boyfriend. You can do both. It would be stupid to give up this opportunity and stupid to give him up. He is not talking about making a proper life with you and for all you know he is seeing someone else himself. At the moment he has all of the advantages of having you as his wife but without any expense, commitments or even proper amounts of time, that is ridiculous.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2021):

This is the OP.

Thank you for ALL your answers!!!!

Very helpful.

Don't worry, anonymous, I haven't thrown away my boyfriend or cheated on him, am not that girl! It is just the pure

rotten loneliness of his faraway-ness,

though we do text and call most everyday.

But his work as a musician is intense and erratic,

and he's not always there, which was true when he lived up here, too.

The new crush may be a mirage, but.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 November 2021):

Honeypie agony auntYep, I agree with the gentlemen here,

You know your LDR is over. Seems like HE has settled THERE and you are stuck where you are at and obviously, like it where you are.

End it with your LDR BF. You are old enough to know that YOU want more than just seeing your partner occasionally.

LDR's are difficult. They don't always work out.

I would advise that you DO take some time to be single BEFORE jumping into bed with the new "love interest".

End it so you BOTH can move forward in life.

I think you are doing the right thing in keeping your distance from the new guy while STILL dating someone else. So kudos for that.

But be honest with yourself and your BF, you know the relationship is not going to work out.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2021):

Long distance of not, the man is STILL your boyfriend. He is under the assumption you are both LOYAL to each other. Correct me if I am wrong?

Therefore, starting up with some other guy is CHEATING. Unless you leave your boyfriend first and end that relationship by being honest with him.

Either way, OP, we can be attracted to all kinds of people or want to go to bed with them. That does not make this new man relationship material or a guy you can trust or even a good man. You know nothing about him. You just want some sex period because your boyfriend is too far away to meet your sexual desires.

Many people masturbate OP.

But if you are really wanting to throw a boyfriend away, long distance or not, over sex, then you are not ready to have any committed relationship. Not with this man or any other. You seem to want to get laid. Pure and simple.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (19 November 2021):

kenny agony auntWe have got to be realistic here, he has brought a house 1,000 miles away, you are unable to move there, and you have recently met someone else.

In your hearts of hearts you already know what you should do, Like WiseOwlE says, you don't need anybody to tell you what you ought to do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2021):

"What should I do?"

What's practical and mature. You're not a couple of lovestruck 20 year-olds. The guy bought a house more than 1,000 miles away; and you can't even move there.

You've met someone? Meanwhile, you and this man you call your boyfriend hardly see each-other.

I think you know the answer without asking. This kind of question might be tough to decide for someone half your age.

You don't need anybody to tell you what you ought to do.

Come on!

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