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Its not healthy for me to have this feelings for my teacher

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 March 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 March 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hey everbody, i know ur just about to kill anyone who wants advice about their teacher's crush. but please. hear me out.

I have had really strong feelings about my teacher for the past year or so. These feelings just kind of started as an admiration. He's a music instructor and very talented at what he does. I am almost definant that he is attracted to me, because for the past year..ive noticed he looks at me. A LOT. and many times we have looked eachother at the same time. Our eyes would sort of just stay on eachother till one of us decided to look away.

He is very mature, and has a wife. I know he would never act on his feelings and he shouldn't. It would cost him his job and a ruin his life.

But i can't help having these feelings. It's not healthy for me. I can't sleep some nights because i'm thinking about him, or if we're ever going to move farther than just looking at eachother.

There was one time during band, note: we have seperate instructors for vocal and band,) out chairs were all in rows like a wedding and we were watching the jazz band play their pieces for the upcomming festival. i was sitting with friends..and he came in to watch too. he sat in the row in front of me and was diagonal from me. And he looked back at me sooo many times! or i could see that when he turned his head just a little bit, his eyes would be all the way back like he was trying to look at me. Or he would just completely turn and look at me. and many times our eyes would meet.

It's hard on a girl. To be so in love with your teacher but knowing that nothing will ever happen, just hurts. it hurts sooo bad.

It seems like he's HOT and COLD. one day we can't stop looking at eachother, and another he just doesnt even look my way. usually we go through three day spurts. For three or so days we will be HOT. then for three or so days we will be COLD. and it kills me! i get so annoyed and fustrated.

Please, anybody. help.

View related questions: crush, my teacher, wedding

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntType Crush or teacher, into the search facility you are right we are sick of hearing the same post from girls who just repost the same question every other day.

Also there is an article by musicalmistress which sounds exactly the same as the situation you are going through: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/students-falling-in-love-with-teachers-whats-your.html maybe you two should talk to each other about the answers that have already been posted many many times in the past.

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A female reader, Good Girl United States +, writes (14 March 2009):

Good Girl agony auntI know it is hard, but you have to make it stop. This kind of attraction is very dangerous, which of course makes it more attractive. He needs to respect you and know that you are in school for an education, not to be tormented by unrealistic passionate fantasies every night and whenever you see each other. That is not fair to you because he is in a relationship and is your instructor and should realize that there are boundaries. You are also probably much more hormonally active at this age and likely to act on your feelings which he will be able to take advantage of with no consequences if you keep quiet about it. That is totally unfair, I hope realizing this will be a turn off for you. If you catch him looking at you again, give him a really dirty look (angry, not sexy). He should get the message but will probably look surprised that you did it and probably keep looking at you. Just keep it up and ignore him as best you can. Try to find an available guy to take over the infatuation, but don't hook up with him, torture yourself with that guy as much as you have been with Professor Perv. That way you'll simmer down a bit-because you'll have some control over the situation. Don't get into the bad boy want-what-you-can't-have cycle. It's a trap and is a template that may transfer to most of your future relationships. Not fun. Respect yourself. You seem like an intelligent girl who has self-confidence. Let's keep it that way, right?

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