A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i need help desperatley!! my 2 yr relationship is on rocks.....2 kids involved 1 is his.constantli arguing, he starts them, i get blamed. his attitude has changed, so has mine because of all the crap im getting. the kids get it to. my 5yr old is bn tested for autism n adhd, he constantli on the go n my partner has a go at him for the slightest thing and slaps him rwnd the head and shouts at him.....my 1 month old daughter wakes up at 3 in mornin and it winds him up at he haas a yelling fit at her telling her to f off n go bk to sleep. he has an addiction to porn, he dont help with the kids unless i nag at him and i get in neck, i get told to gt of my ass n tidy house when im the 1 lookn after the kids. he cant look after our 13mon old withou getting ratty with her. possibly half hour when she asleep....oh yeh he also accused me of flirtn with my ex, goin thru his phone, he wont spend sum tym apart as he thinks ill run of with the kids. i cant ask a simple question without gtn yelled at n i cnt put my point across or ignore him as it makes things worse......he tellin people that im the baddy and that im bitchy, paranoid, sarcastic all tym.....where as im onli them coz he made me them. my 5yr old loves him but has piked up on the arguments and has tried them out with us and it not good....i have given my parter a ultimatum change n go couneling wit me or we are dun.....we r goin counceling but he aint changed, every1 is geting fed up with seen me down all time.
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (22 December 2013):
 Yeah the youngest one won't even remember him and the five year old will bounce back just fine. Young kids are resilient.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u all
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 December 2013):
 The kids won't hate you. I don't know where you get that idea from. When they hit their TEEN years they might question why you left and you can tell them that you didn't feel it was safe for you all to stay with him.
They won't remember much of this (at age 13 mo. and 5 years) but it is YOUR job to protect your children and keep hem safe, even if that is FROM their dad.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u i know all this and yet im scared coz if i leave him the kids will hate me......im at end off teather and everytym he dud sumthing like this to the kids i rip at him.....and then ses to me well u bloody deal with them i just feel like crap
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 December 2013):
Wow, such a healthy relationship you have. Sorry for the sarcasm.
You say your relationship is on the rocks. The reality is that it needs to be dead. My God.
The man you describe sounds like a complete nightmare. He tells a one month old to fuck off for crying?? He slaps your five year old on the head? You need to get your kids away from this piece of shit. I'm sorry, but that's what he is. He's a sack of shit. This man is horrendous. Who talks to a baby like that? He's not safe to be around the kids. And he treats you like crap.
You already say your five year old is noticing the fights. Let me just say that it's much healthier for kids to have two parents who are separated yet peaceful than both parents together who yell and scream all the time. Kids grow up and model after their parents. and believe me, your kids will grow up with the impression that normal relationships consist of treating each other like this. Not good.
If I were you, I'd get out. That's just me. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 December 2013):
First of all you NEED to get your kids away from him. YELLING at a 13 months old because she wakes up at night is ridiculous and I can JUST see him doing something worse (like shake her) if she sin't quiet when he wants her to be. He doesn't sound safe at all. Then there is the slapping your 5 year old on the head, WTF lady? Why do you allow that?
All this yelling and screaming isn't help YOU either, but it CERTAINLY can mess up the kids. This isn't healthy and you know it. IS the way this man treat you HOW you want your son to treat a women? If not, you better consider that MEN learn that behavior somewhere, USUALLY while children. So if you think all that is going on doesn't affect your kids, you need to think again.
YOU don't need my or anyone else permission to kick him to the curb.
Ultimatums mean nothing if you don't follow through, then it's just empty threats and those... are easy to ignore.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013): To be be honest, I read to the point where you said he shouts at your possibly autistic son and hits him around the head.
Why are you with this man??
Whatever you are feeling, the fact he has laid a hand on your child should mean it's the end of that relationship. I would have left him and reported the pathetic excuse of a man.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 December 2013):
 The fact he is hitting your son around the head and yelling at the baby when she wakes during the night really should be a deal breaker.
Don't raise your kids around this violent, nasty man. Tell him to leave and not come back. Your children deserve better than this.
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