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I'm 70 years old struggling with erectile dysfunction and I feel terrible that I cannot satisfy my girlfriend sexually

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 5 December 2013)
A male United Kingdom age , *agalout writes:

Hello.

I am 70 years old and active,however I have recently developed the old man's problem Erectile Dysfunction.

I have been living with an East European lady whom I adore very much,for over a year now.

Anyway with my problem,proper sex is not possible.

I very much want to make her happy and have said there are many ways for her to have an orgasm.

But she has told me quite definitely that fingers,tongues or appliances are totally out of the question....God made penises to go in Vaginas etc.

In the early days before the onset of my problem,we would make love often and she really enjoyed it,asking me for more if I reached my climax before her.

Anyway,now I sleep in a separate room,because of many difficult emotions guilt that I am not a real man and the urge to caress her but knowing it will get her excited but I cannot do anything about it.

Maybe you can help,although I am not hopeful.

p.s I am reluctant to try viagra as people tell me it is not good for those with heart problems.

View related questions: her ex, orgasm, vagina, viagra

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (5 December 2013):

DoubleM agony auntAs a 66-year-old man I went through a period of that a few years ago, which I'm fairly certain was at least partly caused by blood pressure medication. Some do that. I think it was Atenolol.

I also have a heart condition, quite serious, but my doctor cleared me for Viagra. Had a few headaches at times, but not too bad. It helped through that time until I switched medications.

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A male reader, sagalout United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2013):

sagalout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Certainly has been a great experience to get this matter off my chest.Not something really one can discuss with friends or family.

Just a couple more bits of information.

She was the eldest of 3 sisters and was very close to her father.

She grew up and remained in Latvia raising her 4 Children in difficult circumstances. Russian Occupation and all that.

She has had only 2 lovers as I can ascertain

Her Husband who died young

Then a separated friend of the family.

It did occur to me that maybe there had been some abuse a long the line.

Anyway,I will take on board all your advices regarding action I should or shouldn't try and at the same time try to have a serious chat with her (will be difficult as theses East Europeans tend to be quite secretive.

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A male reader, DonaldJ Canada +, writes (3 December 2013):

Take zinc vitamin pills supplement.. and eat foods that have high levels of zinc...

Quit smoking...

Stop masturbating.. fall out of love with your hand...

Stop gazing at, and drooling over, nudie pix...

Take your heart drugs earlier in the day.. like when you wake in the morning...

Totally stop all the taking of anaesthetics and painkillers: coke, weed, tylenol, codeine, sleeping pills, and such...

Stop the booze for a few months...

Get some exercise and fresh air...

Take a few "multi vitamins and multimineral" tablets daily..

Jaimeson "power for men" is a good one, Centrum forte is another good one...

Try it in the morning.. A lot of the old guys find they progressively change into morning lovers...

Most of all it's the smoking and the coke that messes you up...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 December 2013):

Honeypie agony auntContact your doctor. Don't try pills or anything else til you do.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 December 2013):

olderthandirt agony auntThe only one that can adequetly direct you is your doctor any advice you could get from me or any other "aunt/uncle" would be lame. I'm 70 also but have the opposite problem (no where to put it).

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A male reader, sagalout United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2013):

sagalout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Some great answers, thanks.

She is 65.

And no she enjoys sex and sometimes tries to initiate it, which then leaves me feeling a total failure.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2013):

Since she said "But she has told me quite definitely that fingers,tongues or appliances are totally out of the question....God made penises to go in Vaginas etc." It sounds like she quite enjoys you not being able to do anything down there.

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A female reader, banditsmom1124 United States +, writes (2 December 2013):

banditsmom1124 agony aunt i found this article...hope it helps...also try talking to your doctor

http://www.sharecare.com/health/heart-disease/heart-disease-take-erectile-dysfunction-medication

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