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I sexted another girl ....

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2014) 7 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2014)
A male age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have been with my girlfriend 5 months now and i have really strong feelings for her but a while back i did something i'm not proud of...i sexted another girl.This is my first relationship so I don't know how things work or what could possibly ruin your relationship...but i feel terrible besides this I'm a good guy and she knows this and tells me that I'm even to good for her and she doesn't deserve me but i love her so i don't care if she does or doesn't but not only do i feel terrible for what I did but i feel as if I didn't live up to her expectations.I know for a fact that I'm not gonna do this again or any other form of betrayal I don't want to tell her because I know it won't happen again. Should I?

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (1 December 2014):

YouWish agony auntYou "don't know how things work" in terms of sexting other girls when you have a girlfriend?? You knew what you were doing and you knew it was wrong. Having a girlfriend means you're FAITHFUL to her. Would you want her sexting another guy behind your back?

To quote a famous movie, "How long have you been pissing on the toilet seat before somebody TOLD you to put it up??"

Basically, you don't text anything to other women that you wouldn't want your girl reading. You need to learn that you don't need women's attention to stroke your ego. You'll lose everything that way.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014):

Thanks for the advice but I didn't go as far as sending pictures just the messages

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014):

I didn't send pictures or anything just those messages...only my girlfriend ever got pictures

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014):

i did not send any nude pictures or anything

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2014):

You are in a very new relationship and this is your first. Lacking experience, you may need time to learn and fully understand the meaning of commitment.

Your girlfriend has to be able to trust you. You know right from wrong. If you didn't know it was wrong, you wouldn't feel so guilty.

Telling her could be detrimental to your relationship so early into it. I guess that's the bed you made when you decided sexting another girl, was more important to you than she is. Now comes a life-lesson we foolish boys must all learn.

If this girl you sexted is in your mutual circle of friends; and your girlfriend knows her, it's your call whether you should confess what you've done. The risk being, the girl may tell her first to hurt her, and to sabotage your relationship. If she knew you had a girlfriend, she set you up. She has proof on her phone, and can share it with anyone.

If you're honest, there is a 50/50 chance you will be forgiven. The odds are 100% that she will no longer trust you. If she finds out, and you didn't confess? The odds are highly against you. She may dump you. Now do the math.

You have to follow your own conscience. I would tell the truth, and face the consequences. You'll always be looking over your shoulder, wondering if she'll find-out the truth

from the other girl, or someone the girl told.

The trouble with sexting is, there is evidence that cannot be denied. Even if you didn't show your face; she will recognize distinguishing birthmarks, your navel, jewelry, your genitals, things in the background of the pic; or any tattoos you have.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2014):

Just tell her, yes she'll be really mad but if your a good guy then your not a liar. Or are you???

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (30 November 2014):

Ciar agony auntIf there is no other way she can find out, then I would just let sleeping dogs lie.

This confession would not be for her benefit but for yours. Your girlfriend has not been exposed to any diseases, you didn't get another woman pregnant and you're not planning on leaving her.

I think telling her would just be you getting it off your chest and planting it squarely on hers.

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