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I feel as if I'm not attractive to her any more as she never wants to make love to me...

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 November 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2009)
A male , *mdyingslowly writes:

Dear reader,

I've been with my girl for the past 3 years, we've had our share of problems, like every couple must see. But during the last 3 or 4 months she has not been very interested in sexual contact. When I talk to her about it she always says that our relationship isn't about sex, but she likes to make me happy. I'm 21 and she is 18, I know my sex drive is going strong, but I feel as if hers isn't even on. Truth be told she had a bad encounter with a man when she was 15, force was used that's all I will say. I tell her that I do not want to make love unless she wants it as well, but I feel as if I'm not attractive to her sexually any more, I love her and she loves me, there is no doubt there, but I don't know what to do about this. What can I do about this, are we not sexually compatible?

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A female reader, KANDIWRPR United States +, writes (1 December 2009):

KANDIWRPR agony aunteven though she doesnt like or want to make love

did you try to turn her on slowly?

like mayb just kissing frm the neck down and see

if she stops you

i think that maybe you just have to assure her a bit more

that you love her and that you dont want to force her but

tell her that making love is part of helping a relationship

it helps the partners rekindle.

aniwaiz if she doesnt try to stop you after kissing her down

dont go straight to sex

just take it slow with her

like just kiss her body

and let her know that this is making love

not force sex

i dont know if this will help

but good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009):

the problem here is not about your prowess or attractiveness. it is about her feeling. she really would benefit from a good counselor i think. its been said over and over that the most important sex organ is the one between your ears...and that is the one that is giving here trouble. look into therapy or counseling for her or even together. because sex, whether we like to admit it or not is a large part of a relationship. good luck, mal

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