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How do I let others know that I'm a good friend and not snobby?

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Question - (27 May 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2016)
A male India age 30-35, anonymous writes:


I believe I am an above average looking guy with a stable job and take good care of myself. I am very sociable with family but am quiet outside the home environment. I do not enjoy drawing attention to myself and would rather just be a part of the crowd when out with colleagues and friends. I sense that I am coming off as cocky and sophisticated in my friend circle when in all honesty I just want to be around people without having to talk too much. People are intimidated by my behavior, especially women. What can I do to let them know that I can be a good friend and not a snobby a-hole?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (30 May 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYour opening line was you believe to be above average so that is your problem straight away, you think two highly off yourself and people will pick up on that attitude.

Its great you have a stable job and that you look after yourself, but you also need to make an effort to get to know people if you want to be their friends. You say you are social with your family, therefore start trying it with people outside of the family home as well, it is not difficult to strike up a conversation with someone and get to know them.

It is okay to be part of a crowd, but you also need to make the effort to talk to people and get to know them, if you are quiet they are going to think you are rude and snobby. But if you genuinely want to be friends with them, then talk, ask questions and listen to them.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2016):

Denizen agony auntI think you are being too self aware. Just get on and be who you are. You don't have to put on an act for people - unless that is the problem - you are already putting on an act.

If that is the case drop it. Credit people for being able to see who and what you really are. If you are good hearted they will know. Make other people your focus, not yourself.

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