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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Should I give my friend ANOTHER chance?
Q. hi i had a friend of 4 yrs .i thought her to be my best friend . but my friendship is going through some tense moments for past 1 and a half years. she is an extrovert whereas i'm reserved.. but she has always forced me to become an extrovert like...
A. 1 September 2011: "friends" don't spy on each other unless they're twelve years old. I'd explain it in a letter,mail it then wait for a response.... (read in full...)
I am 18 seeing a man double my age. Do I tell my mom or let things ride?
Q. Hi guys i really need your opinion on what to do. I have been seeing this guy who's going to be turning 37 this October, i am 18 turning to 19 next year February. I don't care about the age difference because we talked about it and we are cool with ...
A. 1 September 2011: If you were 55 and your 18 year old daughter said she was "seeing" a 36 year old man. What would you do?... (read in full...)
Paranoid about girlfriend talking on the phone
Q. am i being paranoid or is it justified for me to be worried when my gf might be talking on her phone and the moment i walk into the room she will not even say bye to the person she will just hang up, when i ask who she is talking to she will just ...
A. 1 September 2011: In my opinion, Yes. you should have trust not suspicion with a partner. To be honhest, It sounds more like a control issue which can be VERY detrimental. While paranoia is one thing...controlling is quite another. so, be honest with yourself are, ... (read in full...)
Dating a friend's ex?
Q. Ok this is a question for a friend of mine. Basically He likes his friends Ex girlfriend. They met up last week and were snogging and chatting loads. they are secretly texting each other and the ex boyfriend doesn't know anything about it. He sti...
A. 22 August 2011: If I had one piece of advice for you(or your "friend")I'd suggest you(she) find your own guy..three's always a crowd even if in a "friendship".... (read in full...)
Am I being used or is there a chance he likes me?
Q. I work in a shop and for the last 5 months a guy (paul)has made a point of coming on my checkout every time I work. he tells me how gorgeous i am and how lucky my boyfriend is. my boyfriend finished with me 2 months ago - I told paul that I'm no ...
A. 22 August 2011: Sounds a little "fishy" to me, I'd be very careful!... (read in full...)
I've masturbated for years but can't get there having sex with my boyfriend
Q. I'm having a bit of a sex problem ... Okay so I have been masterbating since I was 4 but with a book so when I started having sex I was surpriesed I couldn't get there i have been have sex for years now and I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong I ...
A. 19 August 2011: Have him "go down on you" tounge never fails.... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 19 August 2011: If men were honest with themselves, you'd know they're really investigating what the other guys look like compaired to themselves...it's an envy thing. no man is ever big enough for self assurance. We are a very insecure lot.... (read in full...)
What do guys think of girls with tattoos?
Q. Question for guys please..what do you think of girls with tattoos?!? I'm 33, attractive and single and I have 2 tattoos, one tribal design on my lower back and some writing down my wrist. Both are small and plain black. However I'm worried it puts ...
A. 19 August 2011: It's obviously personal preference. I personally think one or two are sexy but the whole arm,etc. is junk looks self-defacing when it's over done.... (read in full...)
How often do people have sex after being together 5 years or more?
Q. hi guys i was just wondering how often people have sex in a longterm relation ship of over 5 years. I undertand sex slows down but has ours lost to much ...
A. 19 August 2011: It's true that there is no normal...our "normal" is never so anything upwards of that is true bliss.... (read in full...)
For the guys: Do you like it if a girl wears just one perfume? Or changes?
Q. GUYS: Do you prefer a girl wears only one perfume or should they change it up? Would you want your girlfriend to use one perfume, always smelling the same, or should she change it up and wear different perfumes all the time? Is it better to hav...
A. 19 August 2011: My personal preferance is no fragreance but that's probably weird to most so I'd go with find the one he says "boy, you smell nice' and strick with that one and no others.... (read in full...)
Should I take a chance and quit my job?
Q. Basically i have been really considering leaving my job in the fall. I feel like i am stuck and after almost 5 years if i stay another year, my job as an assistant will basically be my career. I am also very tired of the labor aspect..being on my ...
A. 19 August 2011: There are few things worse than hating your job. I'd reccomend you begin looking for other employment. Wait until you find the job and are actually hired before quitting the one you have though...makes it so much sweeter to just walk in one day and ... (read in full...)
I caught my husband in bed with another woman.
Q. i saw my husband on bed with another woman may 13 2011 his friends gve me the hint and help me open to reality, the worst day of my life. i hate him now and we have a child. a very beautiful child. i want to teach him a hard lesson??? tell me how?...
A. 19 August 2011: Well, lessons like that are not easily taught short of having him read up on Lorainna Bobbit.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend teases me about having sex but then doesn't follow through
Q. I am a 19 year old virgin guy and I have a great girlfriend though she isn't a virgin oh well. One thing i am haveing a problem with is that she teases me and then when we are about to have sex we stop and she says sorry to me. We were about to have ...
A. 19 August 2011: Not to worry my young friend...you are being conditioned for marriage just learn from this young lady as you will find zen-like peace in your married years later as you'll get no sex then either.... (read in full...)
He spent more money on his ex than he does with me, did he love her more?
Q. did my partner spend more money on his ex because he loved her more? He was with her for a short time but furnished her house and paid her rent, got her a car and paid for her boob job. With me, he is not like that. ...
A. 17 August 2011: "Money Can't buy you love" as by the Beetles... (read in full...)
Should I keep on with this relationship or should I quietly back down?
Q. So i have been with this guy for almost a year. problem is that he has been in jail for the past 5 months. i truly miss him and with every phone call, letter, card, and email i get from him, its like i fall more in love with him! in every thing i ...
A. 16 August 2011: Do you know what his crime was? if was for anything that included violence you need to walk away.... (read in full...)
Why does my husband flirt with everybody but me?
Q. Why does my husband flirt with everyone but me? He seems happy when he's with me. We laugh and cut up and have so much fun together. But the other girls get the "sweetie" and and the touches and stuff. Is he just a really flirty guy? I am a few days ...
A. 16 August 2011: Some folks are just flirtatious by nature so I wouldn't read anything into it. I get in trouble at times for being what some might call flirting(I call it just being friendly and nice to people) He probably doesn't even know it's considered ... (read in full...)
We have a great relationship all around--so why does he need to watch porn??
Q. Hi, I am trying to understand why my bf watches porn and would like your insights. We've been together 1 yr, and everything is great:) We have told each other we love each other. I love spending time hanging out with him, we share interests, make ...
A. 14 August 2011: This question is posed over and over again in various ways. Here's the answer, Men are visual in their sexual interests, we like to observe others doing what we would like to do but are fearful of rejection if we try it. Plus, and here's the ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this online guy who seems to want nothing but sex?
Q. Okay so I met this guy online through a dating site, he seemed nice but never really spoke about himself much, which always bothered me, then we chatted online with web cam but he wouldn't let me hear his voice at first, later he told me he doesn't ...
A. 14 August 2011: The short answer is yes, tell him EXACTLY how you feel about se. otherwise he will be Very confused when it comes time to make a move.Don't continue to lead him on.trust me it hurts a lot to find out that the one you want to invest your life with ... (read in full...)
My bf wants to do oral on me, but I am afraid it will be too salty for him down there. What can I do?
Q. how do i explain this. my boyfriend wants to do oral on me soon, but i have only recently found out that the juices my vagina makes are salty (i had to taste it). im scared and i know it will put him off! i only got a matter of a couple of days ...
A. 14 August 2011: Just take a lot of baths..should be fine!... (read in full...)
Is there a time limit for how long I can keep a sugar Daddy interested?
Q. I turned 29 a fortnight ago. I will be 30 next year at this time. Throughout my 20s I have had several sugar daddies, older men who supported me financially whilst I was pursuing my musical aspirations. They've been good chaps over all, tho of cour...
A. 14 August 2011: There's NO age limit on using someone, that's why they force us to say,"til death do us part" samr thing as sugar daddy except you probably give back more than the average wife does.... (read in full...)
I really don't want to be with somebody who treats me like this but am shocked and numb!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years and I are 35. When we dont agree on things I prefer to agree to differ but he gets verbally abusive and swears and calls me a f*ing idiot. I find that so offensive. None of his family swear. He gets angry when he dr...
A. 14 August 2011: Being verbally abusive is right ahead of physical abuse so beware and be ready to duck.ANY guy that abuses(either verbally or physically) a female (in my book) is lower than dog s###t and ought to be beat to a pulp. I hope you find a way out of ... (read in full...)
Would you date a girl who had many sugar daddies??
Q. So I met this girl. Real pretty. Grew up in Europe (Czech Rep.). Dated a few times. Then she tells me about her sugar daddies. For those who dont know a sugar daddy is an older man who gives money to young women in exchange for sexual favors. ...
A. 12 August 2011: I'd(if I were you) get her checked for S.T.D.s then go forward,I mean so what if she has a past that may have been "survival mode" At least you have a gal that's honest about her past and not trying to pass herself off as some virgin-like innocent ... (read in full...)
How do I start to trust my husband again? Or how do I start to put all this to the back of my mind?
Q. I discovered my husband was using chat lines for sexual reasons. He was chatting to various women about sex and looking at their photos. He even bought a webcam! I know this side of things was pure fantasy (I've asked advice from male colleagues) ...
A. 10 August 2011: Trust is a blessing that has to be earned-looks like he threw it away for now and will have to either re-earn it or go away. I'd give him alist of things he must do before he's allowed back into your 'trust zone" then give him a month to see how ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says my vagina is wide. I've never had kids, so what is he talking about?
Q. I'm 18. I've sex with my bf. But he said my vaginal is wide, he feels its empty when he puts it in. I dont know why my vaginal is wide. He's normal, not too big and not too small. I never have kid or abortion. I dont know why. Who can explain it to ...
A. 6 August 2011: What in the world are you worried about? wide is good! He's probably below average in size and looking for an excuse to why he's not able to drive you crazy during Orgasm... (read in full...)
I've developed feelings for my friend's 16 year old son, how can I make this go away?
Q. Well here goes : i'm just 40 (look about 30-32-so i'm told)n seem to be having a mid-life crisis!! I've lost over 6 stone and feel great. Background: I'm married with 2 young children and a lovely caring husband who is the same age. Problem: ...
A. 5 August 2011: If you really care about the kid, you'll find a way to stop seeing him so much..The worse thing in the world for a male is to feel "used" so you can't let this go too far. It will warp his self-esteme and ruin his ability to have a real relationship ... (read in full...)
Finding that special girl is so hard...how can I meet my dream girl who meets my standards?
Q. Ok, im making this question because whenever i tell someone what i want in a girl, im misundertood and generally dont get empathy with people. What i want i a girl is obviously that i like her, both physically and mentally, that she doesnt do drugs...
A. 5 August 2011: Sounds to me like you need to stay out of the bars and go church shoping. You want a "nice girl" and they are VERY hard to find....Enrol in a comunity college and/or go to a prodestanr church.... (read in full...)
I have lost weight and my breasts look terrible! Help!
Q. Please, i have this problem that is bothering me so much. It may only be aesthetics but its really getting my down. I have always had big breasts, although they have always been in proportion to my frame. They have never been pert, nor have i ever ...
A. 4 August 2011: you'r fed up looking like a middle aged women? try looking like an old man..pt really stinks..nothing can be done about it .... (read in full...)
Still a virgin 3 years after having sex?
Q. Hello, I am a 17 year old girl who lost my virginity three years ago to my boyfriend. we were together for a year and a half and had sex about 6 or 7 times. I know its not a lot but i was very scared about pregnancy and in the end we decided that we ...
A. 4 August 2011: I'm too confused to coment. Compforting words, "Don't worry, it'll be alright." "You can't help it,it's not your fault." Good luck... (read in full...)
Why does he lie about who he's seeing? Should I say anything to him?
Q. Why is he lying? should I say anything to him? My ex boyfriend broke up with me cos he said he didn't want a relationship. He told me he loved me everyday and I loved him so much. I was devastated when we split:( We got back into contact ...
A. 4 August 2011: Yeah you should say say something...say Goodbye, He's a jerk and using you...say goodbye and go live in a different town or country.... (read in full...)
Is this cheating?
Q. Is it cheating to make a profile on a dating site and chat to singles,with the intent of meeting? I cought my gf doing this and she said it was just to pass time, because she is at home all day doing nothing (I'm the only one that works). What...
A. 3 August 2011: Could be just curiosity to see how "marketable" her profile is. To me cheating is way more[like in bed] serious.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a 19 year old pregnant girl on his hands. What next for our relationship?
Q. So, things are bad and I find myself wishing I hadn't started this mess. I am crazy in love. I have been with this man for 9 months now and I spend almost everyday with him. Needless to say, I'm attached. He is also in love with me. Problem is m...
A. 2 August 2011: Why not all move in together? Sounds like you've pretty much accepted the fact that you're a shared love. Just a thought...I'd start a new life over if I were in a similar fix but to each his/her own.... (read in full...)
I never enjoy sex....am I doing something wrong??
Q. Dear All, Since i started having sex, i never enjoyed it,i thought maybe i was doing it with wrong people but only to find out that is the same, i started having sex by the age of 19 and now im 21,i dont know wheather im doing it in a right way or w...
A. 27 July 2011: Assuming you're a female, I'd say you're about normal.... (read in full...)
Should I stop watching porn?
Q. Can anyone tell me of any reasons that they can think of as to why I shouldn't watch porn? I watch it every couple of weeks, or so - just when I'm in the mood to. But then I feel sort of guilty, like I shouldn't be watching it. Do you think I should ...
A. 27 July 2011: If you feel bad then stop otherwise it's normal as far as I know to be curious.... (read in full...)
Trapped in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years, wife won't have sex and won't say why she doesn't want to. Should I leave?
Q. I have been with my wife for almost 20 years now. We have had a sexless marriage for most of that time. We were arguing about it even just 1 year into the relationship. It's not that we never, ever have sex, but we go years in-between having i...
A. 22 July 2011: I'm sorry to have to tell you this but I have at least three very good friends that are in your exact same position. I also am in a sexless maraige. I also see no hope but stick around for convience sake. At this point I'm beginning to think all ... (read in full...)
Why is my cousin so judgmental about the men that I date?
Q. Hello Cupid! I met a 28-year-old distant cousin at a family reunion two years ago and we instantly clicked. At the time she was living in NY, and we would talk on average 3 to 4 times a week, sometimes more. And the majority of the conversation...
A. 22 July 2011: She's obviously more mature than you and feels a sense of responibility to you to ensure you don't get hurt...I'd listen to her and go with the flow. You're lucky to have someone tat gives a hoot.... (read in full...)
What is the average amount of sex to have per week?
Q. Hi Guys, What is an average amount of sex to have per week? My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year and have sex once every 1-1.5 weeks. I feel like this isn't enough but maybe I'm the one with high hopes and will always be disapp...
A. 21 July 2011: You've bound to have heard abut the nickles in a jar story where you put a nickle in a jar every time you "do it" for the first month of marraige then after the first anniversary for each time you take a nickle out. You'll never empty the jar. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend broke up with me on Facebook and won't give a reason why...
Q. my girlfriend just broke up with? me 3 months ago by message in facebook and wont give me a reason why, and yet few days ago before our break up. all she kept on saying was "i love you" and "i couldn't imagine life without you"...then she message me ...
A. 20 July 2011: That's cold! In the old days they'd just call you on the phone and rip out your heart(but enough about me. Facebook is an abomination anyway!... (read in full...)
If a woman already likes you, does it really matter what you say to them?
Q. Hope its ok to ask quite a short and simple question: Ive been told by a friend that in regards to a woman, when talking to them it doesnt really matter what you say, if they already like you, thats half the battle won. Us men can say some ...
A. 20 July 2011: Words are one of two things; 1;poetic fondling of the brain or 2; darts to the heart. You get to choose!... (read in full...)
I've lost all my confidence in my oral skills!
Q. My bf says he finds oral relaxing rather than a turn on. He enjoys it, but his erection soon goes floppy once I start sucking him off. My ex's have told me I am very good at oral so I don't feel it's entirely my fault. Regardless, it makes me feel ...
A. 17 July 2011: Sorry, I can't relate..but here's a guess, he might be high or have been drinking prior to "the event" which would render him useless.... (read in full...)
I like being with him but he doesn't satisfy me in bed. How do I tell him?
Q. Hello there! I recently started dating a man who is 20 years older than me. He is 66 and I am 46. We met online and we had an almost immediate connection, at least on an emotional and spiritual level for me, but for him it seems that he feels he is ...
A. 16 July 2011: Good question, men never know how to really please their mate ,so I'll defer to beter judgemets... (read in full...)
B/f thinks he can control me with sex!
Q. I have a boyfriend that acts like he can control me with his d¤•k, how can I stop him from acting that without giving up sex?...
A. 16 July 2011: In the world I live in, it's the "recepticle" the rules the world no the D???k!... (read in full...)
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